Comment from Sanku

Excellent

You have succeeded in your intention to bring about a change of scene. Sometimes i too long for those old days when we used to do so many things face to face ..

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your support of my piece I appreciate it estory

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

We do seem to be controlled by our devices these days as none of us can live without them. They are a means of communication and intelligence and we have a thirst for knowledge.

Just one edit for this line:
Freedom. My (head) starts to clear

A fine post, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the piece. We're being forced into using this technology to save money for the companies we do business with. None of this is cheaper or better for the average person. estory

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 14-Sep-2023

Over here shops are refusing to give paper receipts for goods, they say you can only have it by email and then they bombard you with advertising, it is disgusting, love Dolly x

Comment from K.L. Rockquemore

Excellent

I really enjoyed this free write verse.

It reads as a single stream of consciousness...
thanks for letting us in.

I also enjoyed the juxtaposition of cultural ancestors and AI, you're not wrong in your sentiment.

The time invested moves from line to line, stanza to stanza.

I think there is a typo in the
fourth line in stanza one.
My had,(head?) begins to clear.

I appreciate the lack of image. It's refreshing to experience the poets words without any distraction.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your comments in support of my piece. estory

reply by K.L. Rockquemore on 14-Sep-2023

My pleasure!

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi estory, no, we haven't come very far at all. On the contrary, we have lost a great deal. Life was so much simpler and in many ways more enjoyable without the gadgets.
My had = My head stars to clear
I loved your poem. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your comments in support of my piece. Not only the simpler times, its human interaction that is disappearing. No more secretaries, no more cashiers, no more bank tellers, no more waitresses, no more accountants, data entry clerks, truck drivers, cab drivers. The job you save could be your own. estory

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

Yes there is peace for a while when disconnecting from the comupter but I think all hope of going back to the things once were could happen only if were suddenly without power. People never return to a primitive way of life. It they were forced to there would all of outrage from most.

Freedom. My had starts to clear 4th line My head....

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and the perspective on my piece. estory

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I must admit though as a writer, if I had no computer, my messy life would be messier, the manifold notebooks would be piled high, my proliferation would cause me to hire a secretary I couldn't afford, so It would be a disaster foe me. But I do know what you mean, it's a wonderful servant, but a cruel master. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo .: My h(e)ad starts to clear.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on my poem. Technology has given us this site, and the means to connect to other people interested in writing and posting, and at least a few dozen people get to read my work, but in the end most people here read to earn the member dollars so they can promote their own material, so it's hard to say how much we are accomplishing. I think we were better off in the old days when people read books for entertainment instead of watching moronic shows on TV or ridiculous spoofs on the internet. And the quality of the writing was better. Sometimes I wish I were born in the nineteenth century. estory

reply by royowen on 13-Sep-2023

I must admit it?s a long time since I depended on my own thoughts or opinions, it?s best not to speculate, I leave what?s God?s in God?s hands, I plant seeds, and if they all fall to the ground, so be it, I think they call that faith, this world won?t stand or fall by my opinions?or yours, so you see, conspiracy is speculation. Jesus said, why do you worry what tomorrow will bring? Today has enough of its own worries, bless you brother, stop worrying, you solve nothing. Enjoy yourself. Blessings Roy

Comment from Eleri

Excellent

I can see your point in this poem. Computers were supposed to be tools but now they seem to have taken over many people's lives. People don't talk to each other any more, they don't watch where they are going when out walking and they make out that they can't survive without their mobile phones, Internet connections etc. It is very sad but also alarming as mobile coverage appears to be expected and we don't get it here. I think that is great personally but you try getting a bank to use a land line to talk to you. Anyway, with regard to the poem, there are a couple of minor errors in it. Firstly I don't think that you need to have the first line as you are effectively saying the same thing in the second one; in the fourth line it should be 'head' not 'had'; in the second stanza it sounds odd to me that you are saying that bees ring and it should be 'ancient' not 'ancien'. Apart from these points, I do like your ideas here,
Eleri

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on my poem. I will take a look at the typos. I must have been in a hurry when I posted it. Otherwise I am glad I was able to get across this idea that technology is not really good for society. estory

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

I'm with you, my friend. These are times that seem to be going backward instead of forward. I love the style of this poem. I noticed a few spags with the fourth line missing the letter e when referring to the line my head is starting to clear. And one of the times you use the word ancient you forget to add the letter t. No worries, this is still a great tale of how we become unplugged.
Thanks for telling us how to go back to nature and forget the internet for sure.
Jesse

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your continued support for my work. Someone else pointed out the typos; I will give it an edit. I must have been in a hurry when I posted it. estory

reply by Jesse James Doty on 14-Sep-2023

Yes, I am glad you will edit this. Otherwise, I would have given you a six.
Haste makes waste.
Jesse

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

This is an excellent story and an, apparently, good ending. I enjoyed reading it and I could relate to the feelings you shared; I also think we have come as far as we should or could
Your presentation is good. You use descriptive words that draw in a reader.

Best wishes!

Alexandra

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and all your continued support for my poetry. I am glad that you thought the language had a vibrancy to it that drew in the readers. estory

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

I understand the bitterness of your conclusion. We came along way but our true self are still around the fire trapped into a normal reality as opposed to the fakeness of today.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I think you got exactly what I was trying to say. Our souls are around that fire, sharing with the people around us. Technology might seem to be cooler, but in the end it is really only making these companies a lot of money. estory