Surprise
A kindnesses received is the best surprise of all.3 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
The poem is nice. The picture was complemintary.I Imagine this was hard to do. When you get a chance, please read my first lune poem, my first poem period, and my first writing here, "Remittance". Tell me what you think. Karen
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023
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The poem is nice. The picture was complemintary.I Imagine this was hard to do. When you get a chance, please read my first lune poem, my first poem period, and my first writing here, "Remittance". Tell me what you think. Karen
Comment Written 17-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2023
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I read your poem "Remittance." I like that it made me read it three times and to think about what it was saying. The only change is that I would suggest using a white font on the dark gray background. Good writing.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent poem for the challenge. I enjoyed reading it. Your presentation is very good, too. You also use descriptive words and colorful imagery that draw in a reader.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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This is an excellent poem for the challenge. I enjoyed reading it. Your presentation is very good, too. You also use descriptive words and colorful imagery that draw in a reader.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
Comment Written 16-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the read and the feedback. Appreciated.
Comment from Eleri
This is an enjoyable poem based on a set of great ideas. However, I would not have used 'surprises' as one of my first words as it is the title of your poem. Also, you have used 'sometimes' as a first word twice and your rhythm is a bit inconsistent varying from nine to twelve beats per line. I would have tried to make that a bit more constant if possible as it makes a poem much more easy to read out loud.
I did enjoy this poem though so good luck in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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This is an enjoyable poem based on a set of great ideas. However, I would not have used 'surprises' as one of my first words as it is the title of your poem. Also, you have used 'sometimes' as a first word twice and your rhythm is a bit inconsistent varying from nine to twelve beats per line. I would have tried to make that a bit more constant if possible as it makes a poem much more easy to read out loud.
I did enjoy this poem though so good luck in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 16-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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Thanks for the great suggestions. I will try to incorporate them.
