Reviews from

Paying Attention

100-word story about being a tour guide.

26 total reviews 
Comment from poetwatch
Excellent
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You better beware of the deaf, Jenny. They are attracted to your lovely lips. :) I wouldn't blame him since your writing is so soft and smooth, I can imagine him wanting to plant a kiss on your readable lips. :) This is a good entry for the True Story Flash contest. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from Rachelle Allen
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HAHAHAHA. There's an internet video similar to that, though it's actually a prank. A woman sits at a table and, staring at a man at another table across the way, begins licking and licking and licking away at a soft-serve ice cream cone. He looks perplexed at first, but then, as she continues to stare and lick, he becomes more and more interested in her. Finally, to his utter chagrin, she whips out her massive black sunglasses and white walking stick and gets up from the table and leaves.

Funny real-life tale, though. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
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True story? Or great twist?

Either way this is a successful flash story and a great contest entry.

I imagine tour guides encounter all sorts of characters- tourists everyday.

The stories they can tell probably makes for interesting dinner conversation:)


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from LJbutterfly
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This is one of those funny things that can happen at work. Your succinct sentence structure provided a lot of information in each sentence. If the deaf man had told you in the beginning, you probably wouldn't have paid as much attention to his actions. Great story. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from damommy
Excellent
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He should have mentioned it for sure. I can imagine how you felt with him staring at you like that, especially when he stepped forward. You handled it well.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from Michele Harber
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a charming and interesting story, Lisa May. As usual, you told your story perfectly, with just enough detail to set up the ending, and no superfluous words.

With your usual perfect timing, you waited until half an hour after I finished my own contest entry, which I haven't had the chance to enter yet, before submitting what will undoubtedly surpass my entry and likely win the contest. Good luck. If you do win (and beat me again!!!), you definitely deserve it (growl, growl, snarl).

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from Lisasview
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Oh no... how badly you must have felt... Funny how we often mis interrup things... right.
Very good story... which makes the reader think.
Good luck in the contest,
Lisasview

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from Pantygynt
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Now why didn't that Spanish football mogul think of that as an excuse after kissing the female footballer. At the time I noticed she didn't seem to object, continuing to smile as she walked off the podium. To be honest I think the kiss was just part of the general euphoria over the team's success. Male footballers have been guilty of far more acts of 'sexual aggression' when goals are scored. I reckon she was 'got at'. If she was that outraged why didn't she just slap his face in the time honoured fashion?

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023


reply by the author on 24-Sep-2023
    Thanks for reviewing.
    While there is certainly a need for boundaries in sexual relationships, and there are far too many instances of non-consensual activity, I agree with you on this one: 'just part of the general euphoria over the team's success'. I saw no outrage. I think she was 'got at' too. I deduce there must be more background to the Spanish players' dissatisfaction with management.
    The pendulum has swung too far. Predators abound, but many women take offence at the slightest thing. Being kissed in public for a success doesn't seem like a big deal to me... the 'sisterhood' would be ashamed of my 'conditioning' to accept abuse, but I do feel I know when something is genuinely offensive and would be supportive.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Smiles all around, Lisa!
I loved every line of your flash fiction, and I surely can appreciate your feelings of space invasion as this gentleman "stood in front of me, too close for comfort!"
I can only imagine how I would have reacted.
Well-crafted!

Thank you for sharing!
diane

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023

Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Lol. Yes, I find it quite disconcerting when people do that. Surely he could lip read from a little further back, but perhaps his eyesight was going as well! Well recounted. Sending best wishes for the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2023