September By the Sea
Faith poem45 total reviews
Comment from royowen
One of the best things that can happen to us that believe, is that sense of communing with God through our interaction with nature, the winds are God's messengers, and the trees always point their fingers to heaven, even the rocks cry out, beautifully written Melissa, smooth, articulate, well rhymed, everything sings...poetry, good luck , blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023
One of the best things that can happen to us that believe, is that sense of communing with God through our interaction with nature, the winds are God's messengers, and the trees always point their fingers to heaven, even the rocks cry out, beautifully written Melissa, smooth, articulate, well rhymed, everything sings...poetry, good luck , blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023
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Hello Roy. Thanks so much for your lovey words of encouragement!!! Hugs!
Melissa
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Exceptional entry for the Faith Poetry Contest. I love the imagery in your poem. Good rhyming that doesn't sound forced and flows nicely.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023
Exceptional entry for the Faith Poetry Contest. I love the imagery in your poem. Good rhyming that doesn't sound forced and flows nicely.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2023
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Hi Gypsy. Thank you. I'm very happy that you liked it.
Melissa
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Communing with nature provides us with the perfect space to reflect on our spiritual connection to the divine. I like how you have tied in the seasons of nature with your own seasons, reminding us that each of our seasons holds beauty and purpose.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
Communing with nature provides us with the perfect space to reflect on our spiritual connection to the divine. I like how you have tied in the seasons of nature with your own seasons, reminding us that each of our seasons holds beauty and purpose.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Thank you Ginda for your lovely review!! I am delighted you liked it and understood the importance of the seasons and 'changing' that goes on in our lives. Hugs!
Comment from damommy
Well done! We seldom see anything in amphibrach. Yours is spot on with great meter and rhyme, with a lovely presentation. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
Well done! We seldom see anything in amphibrach. Yours is spot on with great meter and rhyme, with a lovely presentation. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Hello Yvonne. I am delighted you enjoyed the amphabraic meter in this verse as well as the rhyming parts. Hugs!
Melissa
Comment from Tom Horonzy
The title drew me in like a
Moth to the flame and the vivid description well written are so colorful an artist should be commissioned to
Paint the picture
Full
Lastly, I suggest reversing awaken and waken in lines two and three.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
The title drew me in like a
Moth to the flame and the vivid description well written are so colorful an artist should be commissioned to
Paint the picture
Full
Lastly, I suggest reversing awaken and waken in lines two and three.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Hello Tom. Thanks so much for your wonderful review!! I would mention that I can't reverse 'awaken' with 'waken' due to the metrical flow of the amphibrach meter. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!
Melissa
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a fine, soothing and meditative verse which warms the soul with such beautiful, colourful imagery. I love the way the narrator becomes at one with nature in this very pleasing faith-inspired poem. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
This is a fine, soothing and meditative verse which warms the soul with such beautiful, colourful imagery. I love the way the narrator becomes at one with nature in this very pleasing faith-inspired poem. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Thank you Debbie! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Melissa
Comment from Bill Schott
This spiritual poem, September by the Sea, presented with four ABCB-rhymed amphibrach quatrains, immediately reminded me of John Denver's song "Calypso" which must be in the same meter. Very singable and inspiring.
Aye, Melissa, we sing to your spirit!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
This spiritual poem, September by the Sea, presented with four ABCB-rhymed amphibrach quatrains, immediately reminded me of John Denver's song "Calypso" which must be in the same meter. Very singable and inspiring.
Aye, Melissa, we sing to your spirit!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Hello Bill. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! This meter is definitely in a sing-song type of flow. I too love to hear John Denver sing "Calypso". I will be comparing the two to see if the metrical flow is the same. Thank you.
Melissa
Comment from poetwatch
Lovely poem, Melissa. I can feel the waves awakening me from slumber as I look into a beautiful sky. You have a good flow and it's early making me sleepy. This is a good entry for the Faith Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
Lovely poem, Melissa. I can feel the waves awakening me from slumber as I look into a beautiful sky. You have a good flow and it's early making me sleepy. This is a good entry for the Faith Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Hello Jose. Thank you so much for your lovely review. I'm glad you liked it!! The three beat flow does have a sleepy quality to it :)
Hugs!
Melissa
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a beautiful poem, Melissa.
I love how you touched on the senses and painted your story with words. You meter was fine. I have never heard of amphibrach meter, but then I was never privy to poetry in any of the schools I attended in our home town. I was not a poet until I joined Fanstory. LOL I have always loved poetry and music. Well done ! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
This is a beautiful poem, Melissa.
I love how you touched on the senses and painted your story with words. You meter was fine. I have never heard of amphibrach meter, but then I was never privy to poetry in any of the schools I attended in our home town. I was not a poet until I joined Fanstory. LOL I have always loved poetry and music. Well done ! Nancy:)
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Hello Nancy. Thank you so much. You are a dear to leave such a wonderful comment. I am delighted you liked it!!!!
Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
You are fast becoming the site's expert on amphibrachic metre. The variation of line length by only a single syllable carries the rhythm of light surf on the sea shore and is absolutely right for a poem of this nature.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
You are fast becoming the site's expert on amphibrachic metre. The variation of line length by only a single syllable carries the rhythm of light surf on the sea shore and is absolutely right for a poem of this nature.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Hello Jim. I am glad you liked the meter. It has been some time since I wrote a poem in amphibrach meter and thought I would see if I could still do it. Perhaps, it will inspire more of a flow in the FV work we are doing. We shall see :)
Melissa