Reviews from

Of Black Cats and Pumpkins

A Halloween Poem: Inspired by a vintage Halloween postcard

40 total reviews 
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Diane,
A marvelous poem for adults and children
with perfect mono-rhymes and smooth meter.
Filled with fun witches, black cats and pumpkins, oh my.
Great vintage art work too.
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
Robert

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
    Oh my goodness, Robert!
    I am honored by your exceptional rating and complimentary review!
    I so enjoyed penning this piece.
    My three grandsons are a bit too young for it this year, but next year, watch out! :)

    Thank you again, Robert!
    diane
Comment from papa55mike
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love the old greeting cards, especially from the 20s and 30s. Great images and the artwork is fantastic. What a wonderfully written poem. I wish I had a six for you.

Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and Gopd bless.
mike

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
    Hello, Mike!
    So pleased you enjoyed!
    I surely enjoyed penning this piece!

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Very nice artwork and presentation, diane.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You wrote a very good poem for Halloween.
-Effective imagery and rhyme, and the
repetition of "black cats and pumpkins" works well.
-You also tell a good story about the nature
of the creatures on Halloween.
-My favorite line is the last one!
-Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Pam!
    I so enjoyed penning this piece!

    diane
reply by Pam (respa) on 11-Oct-2023
    You are welcome, diane. Nice job with the black cats and pumpkins!
Comment from Gloria ....
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The vintage Halloween card is very well done. The artwork and colouring appropriate for the event.

And what a great poem to go with it. It's a good thing cats can't fly or the birds would have a much harder go of it.

Loved your rhyme scheme and great metre for an entertaining flight of the witch on her broomstick.

Wishing you great luck with the Contest Committee. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
    Ah, Gloria!
    I so enjoyed penning this piece!
    The illustrations certainly lent themselves to giving the words some "oomph!" Loved the glowing cat and pumpkin photograph. My three-year-old grandson did as well!

    Thank you again!
    diane
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This is a delightful poem that children and adults can both love. It is as good an explanation as any why black cats and pumpkins are somehow also included with witches.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
    Much appreciation, Carol!
    I so enjoyed penning this piece!

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great work with this. The Halloween spirit is very much present in it with the black cats and pumpkins. I really don't think the black cats and pumpkins have much chance at flying, except on Halloween. The pictures are great. The black cats look menacing. And that threat to have skeptics riding a broomstick sounds menacing. Very charming, and I think it would appeal to your young people. As I recall, this has been pre-reviewed. judi

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Hello, judi!
    A note of explanation:
    I entered Terry Broxson's contest, "Write a Review," about two weeks ago.
    I came up with writing a review of a children's Halloween poem that I entitled, "Black Cats and Pumpkins," probably as a result of reading imaginative stories to my grandson, Bowdie, and decorating our home with autumn/Halloweenish finery - lots of chrysanthemums and pumpkins, but no cats.
    So far so good.
    But a few reviewers commented in their reviews of my hypothetical poem's review that perhaps I should try my hand at writing a poem about black cats and pumpkins = what my pretend review was all about.
    So, I did... to see if I could... for my grandsons...
    Found the vintage postcard of a witch flying with both a pumpkin and a black cat and I was off "flying!"
    Glad you enjoyed!

    Thank you!
    diane
reply by judiverse on 10-Oct-2023
    You're welcome. So the poem came after the review. I believe we tied in that contest, if I remember correctly. This is a delightful Halloween poem. judi
Comment from jake cosmos aller
Excellent
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love this Halloween poem like these lines the best

So don't prod and don't poke;
Only tiptoe on by
Ere they cast their own spell,
And on broomstick you'll fly!

Be sure to remember
When Halloween comes nigh,
For I've shared charmed secrets,
And this witch doesn't lie...

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    So pleased you enjoyed, Jake!
    This poem was such a joy to pen!

    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Diane, hope you and new grandson are well. A busy time for you I'm sure.
This has such a lovely sing-song quality to it and fascinates me as well. I have never seen a poem done in 6 syllables per line
It creates an interesting flow the rolls along and seems suited for children's poetry.

If I may comment and please don't be offended, it's just with having a degree in music, my ear is finely tuned to rhythm and my comments are an intent to help.
When working in 6, you have to pick an accent scheme and stick with it. Your lines are accurate in count but the accents on the syllables are varied.

For example your first line establishes the correct accent which should fall on the first and 5th syllable...

WHEN Halloween's O-ver

Your second line is difficult for me to analyze whether or not it's consistent with the first so I'll go to lines 3 and 4

Line 3 is perfect...
BLACK cats and BRIGHT pumpkins. (accent on 1 and 5)

Then line 4...
U-pon porches MAY lie.
(the word upon should be up-ON with stress on the 2nd syllable.

All other stanzas are like the first one as it should be. Just with the accents off which trips up your wonderful rolling rhythm.

Actually, it kind of works but this is what I hear and perhaps suggest.

When Halloween's over
the sun rides the sky
Black cats and bright pumpkins
on porches may lie.

Turn this into a 6/5, 6/5 poem.

As I stated, this poem fascinates me as I've never seen one like it before. It may be very difficult to tackle and i wouldn't attempt it myself.
It's a mathematical thing Diane and really not a criticism. There just seems to be a slight hiccup as you may say when you read it.

Bottom line.
If I didn't like it and have respect for your work, I wouldn't attempt to help.
I've taught poetry and music before and you've mentioned being a teacher as well.
It up to you so whatever
you do I certainly wish you well in the contest.

Love the postcard by the way and your poem is a brilliant tribute to it.
Luv&stuff
Katiemaedead



















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 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Oh, my goodness, Katie!
    No offense taken whatsoever.
    My husband is a brilliant structural engineer = mathematician, no fuss, cut and dry. (Stay with me on this) Has read more Berenstain Bear and Dr. Seuss books aloud than he ever dreamed possible, and has lived to tell the tales...
    When I finished writing my poem, I shared it with him, and I told him that the meter was a bit "wacky" in places, but when I read the poem aloud, it flowed aok for me...especially if I was a child.
    His response?
    "Your witch is wacky. You've succeeded in answering the question as to why that witch has a black cat and pumpkin on either end of her broomstick. It's fun and creative. No child is going to be worried about the meter. Go for it."
    So there you have it, Katie... words of wisdom from Bowdie's and Porter's and Jude's "Bumpa."

    I so appreciate your thoughtful review; know that for a certainty.
    I just had so much joy penning this piece - a departure from my normal solemn and heavy poetic topics.

    Thank you again!
    diane
Comment from T B Botts
Excellent
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Hello Diane,
what a great poem for Halloween. I really enjoyed reading this gal. I was relieved to read that no black cats or pumpkins suffered any harm in the making of it. As a teacher, you must have really enjoyed all the holidays with your students. Thanks so much for sharing gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Tom!
    I so enjoyed penning this piece...
    Thank you!
    diane
Comment from Barry Penfold
Excellent
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Lovely poem. Thanks for the notes. Children will love this and i like the rhyme scheme and images. A totally captive poem and I am sure many, many people will enjoy this poem over and over.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
    Thank you, Barry!
    I needed to write a "fun" poem; everything I composed lately has been so solemn!
    Happy Halloween!

    diane
reply by Barry Penfold on 09-Oct-2023
    Diane, not hard to be solemn with the state of the world as it is at the moment. Cheers.