An ordinary guy
A weighty secret13 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
OMG what a horrific tale you have told so vividly!! I think everyone who has had a constantly crying baby gets frustrated and just doesn't know how to console them no matter how they try!! You have expressed this frustration and unfortunate results so convincingly!! Good luck.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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OMG what a horrific tale you have told so vividly!! I think everyone who has had a constantly crying baby gets frustrated and just doesn't know how to console them no matter how they try!! You have expressed this frustration and unfortunate results so convincingly!! Good luck.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Thank you very much for your most encouraging review. I appreciate it, as well as your insightful understanding. (It came third in the contest).
Wendy
Comment from LJbutterfly
I can understand why an ordinary man would keep the secret that his victim was an infant. I enjoyed the way you developed this story with a measure of suspense and mystery. In the end, the ordinary man's secret was a sad one. He ruined the life of his beautiful daughter.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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I can understand why an ordinary man would keep the secret that his victim was an infant. I enjoyed the way you developed this story with a measure of suspense and mystery. In the end, the ordinary man's secret was a sad one. He ruined the life of his beautiful daughter.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Yes, a very sad story. I taught/ cared for this little girl at the school for deaf and blind children. Thank you so much for the lovely review.
Wendy
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Wendy,
One of your very finest writings...
I was mesmerized from the beginning to the very end.
Although I had an idea when the narrator introduced the protagonist's young wife and new baby, I didn't want to read the inevitable. Gut-wrenching...
I babysat my/our five-week-old grandson today - along with his three-year-old brother. The love and caring I hold for those two precious little boys has no bounds... Just the thought of being an instrument of any of their pain is incomprehensible to me...
One small nit:
But (--- Nor) nor did he fit with the smart criminals.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Hello, Wendy,
One of your very finest writings...
I was mesmerized from the beginning to the very end.
Although I had an idea when the narrator introduced the protagonist's young wife and new baby, I didn't want to read the inevitable. Gut-wrenching...
I babysat my/our five-week-old grandson today - along with his three-year-old brother. The love and caring I hold for those two precious little boys has no bounds... Just the thought of being an instrument of any of their pain is incomprehensible to me...
One small nit:
But (--- Nor) nor did he fit with the smart criminals.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Thank you very much Diane. I?m like you too. And yet I can understanding how easily such things can happen. Especially for young ones with no support. Difficult story to write as it brought back lots of memories, as I cared for the little girl at the school for deaf and blind children. Thanks too for the suggestion which I adopted.
Wendy
Comment from Paul McFarland
This is a sad story that, too often than not, is played out in real life. These people are often very good people who have a moment of carelessness that changes their life forever. I see that we tied for third.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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This is a sad story that, too often than not, is played out in real life. These people are often very good people who have a moment of carelessness that changes their life forever. I see that we tied for third.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you Paul for your thoughtful review. I?m glad we did tie - although we won?t become rich through our writing it seems. Lol. (I have read the other tied place story before, perhaps with a different name, found that disappointing ?.)
Wendy
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Nice new picture of Sunny.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
What an awful story Wendy and everyone suffers in this kind of a crime, a moments lapse of concentration and a wrong decision can change the lives of everyone, a poignant write Wendy, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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What an awful story Wendy and everyone suffers in this kind of a crime, a moments lapse of concentration and a wrong decision can change the lives of everyone, a poignant write Wendy, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you Dolly. Very understanding and insightful. Yes, they aren?t always monsters. It can be done in a single moment by very ordinary people who would normally never hurt a child. Lives are ruined though.
Wendy
Comment from Douglas Goff
Wow this is a terribly sad and tragic story. So many lives ruined by one horribly selfish act.
I mean I have six kids and wanted to wring them, still do sometimes, but that's a line that should never be crossed.
Nice write-up.
D
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Wow this is a terribly sad and tragic story. So many lives ruined by one horribly selfish act.
I mean I have six kids and wanted to wring them, still do sometimes, but that's a line that should never be crossed.
Nice write-up.
D
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you Douglas. His actions were dreadful but I think we all have the potential to cross the line in a split moment, without wanting to. Horrific results. Thank you so much for a great review.
Comment from Don De Leon
This was a beautiful read despite its horrific subject because it speaks to our humanity so well, particularly our potential for dark deeds, planned or otherwise. Every word kept me on the edge, waiting for the big reveal. Then it came, and the shock of it is still lingering. This piece had its desired effect, and it was masterfully executed.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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This was a beautiful read despite its horrific subject because it speaks to our humanity so well, particularly our potential for dark deeds, planned or otherwise. Every word kept me on the edge, waiting for the big reveal. Then it came, and the shock of it is still lingering. This piece had its desired effect, and it was masterfully executed.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you very much for this super review, showing insight and understanding. Yes, we are all capable of such actions if put in a situation of extraordinary stress and tension. Thank you sincerely for the six stars. They mean a lot to me.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The openminded compassionate reader will be endeared to the speaker. He is exhibiting poor self esteem: "They might attack him, perhaps even kill him. He wouldn't really care. He deserved it." This keeps the reader connected in mystery: "They looked at him with suspicion because he didn't and wouldn't share his details. When asked, he would just mutter "violence" and turn away." This is a very poignant story which unfortunately reader will identify with.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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The openminded compassionate reader will be endeared to the speaker. He is exhibiting poor self esteem: "They might attack him, perhaps even kill him. He wouldn't really care. He deserved it." This keeps the reader connected in mystery: "They looked at him with suspicion because he didn't and wouldn't share his details. When asked, he would just mutter "violence" and turn away." This is a very poignant story which unfortunately reader will identify with.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you. Your understanding is appreciated. Such things can happen to ordinary people when pushed to an extreme. They are not monsters. It?s a very sad and devastating situation for all.
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so true
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I worked with post incarcerated and currently incarcenated young fellows
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Mystery writer, you did a wonderful job of creating the mystery story by taking us into the mind of this father. We hear horrible tales of such deaths and never think of the person who committed the crime and what might have driven him to it.
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Mystery writer, you did a wonderful job of creating the mystery story by taking us into the mind of this father. We hear horrible tales of such deaths and never think of the person who committed the crime and what might have driven him to it.
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 19-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you Rhonda. They are often depicted as monsters but we are all capable of doing the wrong thing if we suffer such stresses. Your review shows understanding. Thanks too for the good wishes.
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I think that?s what struck me about your post. You were looking outside the box and inside the soul. Sometimes that?s a difficult thing to do, but it?s what God called us to do,
Rhonda
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Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement. Greatly valued.
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Oh, Wendy, hi!
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Hello to you too! I am so glad you appreciated this story.
Wendy
Comment from Thesis
This is a very good entry to the contest. It's a story that many can easily understand and may even know someone who has been affected by this type of outcome. You carefully crafted the story to show both his pain and the secret he kept deep inside.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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This is a very good entry to the contest. It's a story that many can easily understand and may even know someone who has been affected by this type of outcome. You carefully crafted the story to show both his pain and the secret he kept deep inside.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023
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Thank you for a compassionate and understanding review. Sometimes they are perceived as monsters, but such things can happen easily to ordinary people who just snap. L
