Reviews from

Dearest Juan Part 4

Penpals as kids turn to love as adults

2 total reviews 
Comment from Sarita Méndez
Excellent
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This is a nice chapter, but is the girl's name Roxanne or Vale ?
Also, I don't want to criticize your work, but I'm a little bit surprised by the amount of swear words in your text. It is necessary to use such a language? Once again, I'm not a judge nor a professionnal critic, so, don't feel upset by this comment. It's just that I'm not used to this language. :)
However, I like the story, and I wonder if Roxanne has been cheated again or if her lover told her the truth...
I'll check the next chapter when it will be available.
Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
    Thank you! Her name is Valentina (vale? for short) but they call each other nicknames Roxanne and Max after a cartoon they liked as kids
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
    Thank you! Her name is Valentina (vale? for short) but they call each other nicknames Roxanne and Max after a cartoon they liked as kids
reply by Sarita Méndez on 27-Oct-2023
    Thank you for the explanation.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading this story and am wondering if there is going to be a continuation. You conveyed a very credible sense of despair and depression at the beginning due to the feeling of being played. But then when the letter arrived, that was immediately dispelled (in my view, if this is to continue, that forgiveness/trust might well be a bit too precipitate). So I remain worried about the future of this relationship. There are some small edits: polaroid picture; end of Max's letter - Please tell me that you'll wait for (me?). But this chapter has definitely whetted my appetite. So thank you for an engaging read with excellent dialogue and pace. Debbie

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2023


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
    Thank you!!