The Boastful Boy
Consequences when caught in a storm. (50-word story)19 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent job setting up a dramatic scene/crisis, and the ending was a punch line after all. I thought your sentence structure was great. I think you did a good job with the photo choice to accompany it as well. Maybe this will win gold---fish.
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Excellent job setting up a dramatic scene/crisis, and the ending was a punch line after all. I thought your sentence structure was great. I think you did a good job with the photo choice to accompany it as well. Maybe this will win gold---fish.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Not a good time to admit that he was only boasting! I like your pun of swimming like a "flounder", too. Great story told from the most dramatic point for your dribble fiction. Best wishes in the contest, Jenny! Always good to see you back!
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Lol! Not a good time to admit that he was only boasting! I like your pun of swimming like a "flounder", too. Great story told from the most dramatic point for your dribble fiction. Best wishes in the contest, Jenny! Always good to see you back!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
Comment from Pantygynt
I have often wondered about the flounder. Does it flop about on the seabed perhaps? Is that how it got its name? Not all fish are good swimmers. The Lad was honest if boastful.
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I have often wondered about the flounder. Does it flop about on the seabed perhaps? Is that how it got its name? Not all fish are good swimmers. The Lad was honest if boastful.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A disturbing little scene captured so neatly in this 50 word dribble flash! By the end, I don't know whether to laugh or cry, so it's very effective in leaving a lot to the imagination of the reader. Great entry, well expressed. Good luck, Lisa!
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A disturbing little scene captured so neatly in this 50 word dribble flash! By the end, I don't know whether to laugh or cry, so it's very effective in leaving a lot to the imagination of the reader. Great entry, well expressed. Good luck, Lisa!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I was so afraid this was going to end tragically but instead, you left it open to ponder whether or not the two boys made it to shore.
An excellent dribble fiction piece. This picture of the boys being tossed around in the waves looked like disaster was just around the corner. But the twist was that it was a joke.
I get it, I just expected more.
Jesse
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I was so afraid this was going to end tragically but instead, you left it open to ponder whether or not the two boys made it to shore.
An excellent dribble fiction piece. This picture of the boys being tossed around in the waves looked like disaster was just around the corner. But the twist was that it was a joke.
I get it, I just expected more.
Jesse
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
Comment from Wendy G
Lol. Not a good situation for Simon then. That's the worst of trying to be funny. Now I'm left wondering as to what happened. As you wanted gif your readers!! Well done. Good wishes for your entry.
Wendy
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Lol. Not a good situation for Simon then. That's the worst of trying to be funny. Now I'm left wondering as to what happened. As you wanted gif your readers!! Well done. Good wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Ba-doomp-boomp; CHINNNNNNGGGGG!
A tidal wave of fun and funny fifty flash fiction. I hope the pollsters dive right in and vote for it. Good luck. You also found the perfect picture to go with it!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Ba-doomp-boomp; CHINNNNNNGGGGG!
A tidal wave of fun and funny fifty flash fiction. I hope the pollsters dive right in and vote for it. Good luck. You also found the perfect picture to go with it!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks for reviewing Rachelle. Learning to swim should be an essential skill if living near water... especially in New Zealand where we are surrounded by the ocean and have many rivers and lakes.
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Definitely.
Comment from royowen
Silly boy, there's been been a few drowned in their own bravado I'm afraid Jenny, but this is brilliant my friend, a flounder, that must have come like a bolt out ofbthe blue, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Silly boy, there's been been a few drowned in their own bravado I'm afraid Jenny, but this is brilliant my friend, a flounder, that must have come like a bolt out ofbthe blue, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks for your review Roy. I guess it is similar in Australia as in New Zealand that there are many unnecessary drownings if only people had learnt to swim. I watch a tv program called Bondi Rescue sometimes and the silly people who get into difficulties is astonishing and no doubt annoying for the lifeguards who have to rescue them.
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I agreev
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, going out in a boat and not being able to swim is a bit of a tragedy waiting to happen Lisa, a good flash fiction for the contest, love Dolly x x x
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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Oh my goodness, going out in a boat and not being able to swim is a bit of a tragedy waiting to happen Lisa, a good flash fiction for the contest, love Dolly x x x
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Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thanks for your review Dolly. I think learning to swim should be a compulsory skill. There are so many drowning deaths here in New Zealand - we are surrounded by the ocean and have many rivers and lakes yet so many people lack the ability to save themselves when there is a mishap.
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I agree with you Lisa x
