Her Mouth
Felt like fire!4 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
Drinking vodka does this to me. My mouth feeling like a desert desiring water to quench that heat. I can relate to this. It' honest. All views stated on my given opinion. Merry Christmas.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Drinking vodka does this to me. My mouth feeling like a desert desiring water to quench that heat. I can relate to this. It' honest. All views stated on my given opinion. Merry Christmas.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
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Thank you for understanding! Merry Christmas!
Comment from Lisasview
Hi there Kristin from getting dark here in Spain...
Well, this is quite good and as a lover of metaphors I am seeing all sorts of things behind the words... love it...
Lisasview
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Hi there Kristin from getting dark here in Spain...
Well, this is quite good and as a lover of metaphors I am seeing all sorts of things behind the words... love it...
Lisasview
Comment Written 18-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023
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Thank you very much for your kind words Lisa!
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You are so welcome Lisa
Comment from Bicpen
as a poem it is able to stand and spout its flames before being descriptive enough to challenge and address the communication of the metaphor a well noted and crafted delight to which many may find difficult to understand but practice makes perfect.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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as a poem it is able to stand and spout its flames before being descriptive enough to challenge and address the communication of the metaphor a well noted and crafted delight to which many may find difficult to understand but practice makes perfect.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thank you for your kind words!
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... anytime my friend !
Comment from Janis M.
Thanks for being the first post!
My suggestion here would be to avoid making a general story telling statement. Bring something spicy (pun intended) to the reader.
You can use another simile even or a double metaphor. Is her mouth like fire because she actually ate something hot or is it on fire because she is spitting fire with her words? Does she spit fire like a dragon?
Does the water help? Or does it spread the fire and make it worse in the mouth? Does it boil in her mouth because it is so hot?
So many places you can go!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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Thanks for being the first post!
My suggestion here would be to avoid making a general story telling statement. Bring something spicy (pun intended) to the reader.
You can use another simile even or a double metaphor. Is her mouth like fire because she actually ate something hot or is it on fire because she is spitting fire with her words? Does she spit fire like a dragon?
Does the water help? Or does it spread the fire and make it worse in the mouth? Does it boil in her mouth because it is so hot?
So many places you can go!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2023
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It is because she has dry mouth. I edited the post.
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Ah. What I meant was sometimes it is better to use imagery to show and describe a feeling or the situation rather than telling. I don?t think you even need to tell the reader what the water was for. You could leave some of that to imagination even.
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Oh okay! Thank you!
