Reviews from

Week One 2023 - 2024

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The heart of the sky"
... Freeverse ...

5 total reviews 
Comment from JSD
Excellent
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Intriguing and interesting verse. Does it need some notes to explain about Polaris. I know it's a star, but that's about it! But I do like the playing with the glowing star in the east and the glowing red nose.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
    If you read the reviews there's an explanation ... thank for the time !
Comment from Carlos' girl
Excellent
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I have to admit I'm a little lost reading this verse. Is the Polaris a star in a constellation? It's a nice poem anyway. I like the free verse feel. Very well written

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
    There's an explanation in the reviews try reading them ... much appreciated !
reply by Carlos' girl on 21-Dec-2023
Comment from Janis M.
Excellent
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I have a very interesting story about a polaris. It involves the dumb decisions of a sex driven 19 year old who probably thought he was going to impress me by this polaris that he just "happened to find" abandoned on a property. He was going to sell it to make some money. Guess who got him out of trouble? Sigh.

I can only guess at what the red "noses" are...if we have a polaris in the middle east...something red and shiny...hmmmmmm... Is Rudolf "scoping" something out I wonder?

Anyway, I could be wrong. You'll have to unveil the riddle for me just so I can be sure to see if I am right about the picture here.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
    The Polaris is a technical name for what is commonly known as the North Star. It operates as the true north or as close as one can get using any natural navigation techniques. Rudolph is scoping the sky because I guess as the chief sleigh driver he would be in charge of navigation. I referenced Bethlem's BEAST which is a reference to the season of chrimbo in the western world and did mention in my last review even Rudolph could be the beast from the east, normally that's where we up here in Scotland get our winter winds from North and East. Snow generally lies here when winds from the north appear and as for the claim and four stars without any real explanation of it being some sort of returning of The Lord Jesus the only way I could manage that in this poem would be if I fitted the little Lord Jesus in Santa's sleigh. The Polaris is the real heart of the sky which is the starting metaphor to unlock and unleash a perfect piece of free verse which gets a FOUR because some mad "polaris" cant even bother reading it let alone understand it ... I hope that clears the little mystery ... lol.
reply by Janis M. on 20-Dec-2023
    I wasn't anywhere close. Lol. I grew up with a military family so that's what came to my mind. The verse about a matrix of circumference parallels to me is akin to a radar or grid and then rudolfs nose was like a laser. Its funny what memory and experience can do to a poem. But in my head, it made perfect sense.

    Your version is much more peaceful and nicer! Praise Jesus! (truly)

    I had no idea about the polaris for the north star.

    Nah, this is really good. The metaphor is well laid out.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
    well Im glad you can appreciate it for what it actually is rather than some nutter going bonkers over religious content ... I mean its Christmas what do they expect ... do they celebrate it in Peru ???
Comment from Austin Yu
Good
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I have a feeling the poem is referring to the coming of Jesus Christ, but I am not too sure. Words like Bethlehem, and riding the height of every darkened night give me that thought. I think it could've been a bit more clear, but otherwise, it was perfect. It's a very well-constructed piece of poetry, which has a Christmas theme to it, perfect for the holidays. Good luck, and Merry Christmas!

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2023
    Its not really about the coming of the Lord Jesus ... it only references the eastern star so I can tell a tale about Santa's helpers the reindeer ... maybe Rudolph is Bethlehem's beast but Santa lives up north ... much appreciated glad you could enjoy !
Comment from Navada
Excellent
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I like this reflection upon the annual Christmas foray into the skies by Santa and the reindeer. I like the idea of the guiding North Star as playing a role in the journey. Thanks for the share.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023
    Anytime my friend ... enjoy !