Unrestrained
Couplet24 total reviews
Comment from Sarah Tummey
Wow, congratulations on your contest win! Just a thought - it might flow better if you removed the first As. A very impressive couplet though - well done.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
  |
Wow, congratulations on your contest win! Just a thought - it might flow better if you removed the first As. A very impressive couplet though - well done.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
-
Thank you Sarah for your wonderful comments. I am really happy that you looked at it and shared your thoughts. I originally wrote it without the 'As' to keep it in meter, but it was suggested by several that 'As' would enhance it, so it went with that. :)
Melissa
Comment from Ginda Simpson
First of all, I like when no picture is included. It keeps us from being distracted from the written word. In this instance, your verse is perfect in style and content and a real pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
|
First of all, I like when no picture is included. It keeps us from being distracted from the written word. In this instance, your verse is perfect in style and content and a real pleasure to read.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
-
Thank you Ginda!! I am so glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate your comments!!
Melissa
Comment from Bill Schott
This couplet about time, Unrestrained, carries the bleak and unpleasant reality of life. No matter how long we live, the new will always warrant more time needed. that is not available.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
|
This couplet about time, Unrestrained, carries the bleak and unpleasant reality of life. No matter how long we live, the new will always warrant more time needed. that is not available.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from Carol Clark2
Nice poem! I'm glad it was chosen as the winner. I like the simile and metaphor you used, and the internal rhymes are great. I'd suggest "wishing Time (were), since a wish or the unknown uses subjunctive mood, which takes a plural verb. You packed a lot into those two lines! Nicely done! Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
Nice poem! I'm glad it was chosen as the winner. I like the simile and metaphor you used, and the internal rhymes are great. I'd suggest "wishing Time (were), since a wish or the unknown uses subjunctive mood, which takes a plural verb. You packed a lot into those two lines! Nicely done! Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Thank you Carol. I did edit the verse after reading your suggestion. I appreciate it very much.
Melissa
-
Glad I could help. Great poem!
Comment from papa55mike
Time is a subject many love to write about, including me. That's an interesting form. What a wonderfully written poem.
Congrats on the win.
Have a great day, and Merry Christmas!
mike
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
Time is a subject many love to write about, including me. That's an interesting form. What a wonderfully written poem.
Congrats on the win.
Have a great day, and Merry Christmas!
mike
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Thank you very much, Mike. I am glad you liked it and really appreciate your review and comments. Merry Christmas!
Melissa
Comment from Ulla
Aw, Melissa, so you won this one. It was so very well deserved. I loved your Couplet about time and I'm so glad to see that I was not the only one doing so. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
Aw, Melissa, so you won this one. It was so very well deserved. I loved your Couplet about time and I'm so glad to see that I was not the only one doing so. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much, Ulla. Its fun to dive back in again... I hope I continue to have time to be active. Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from Wendy G
I like the personification of Time, as it seems like a person we would wish to keep close to, beneficent and distributing happy parts of our lives (rich), and balancing those with times when we feel time-poor. Certainly at the end of life most people try to cling to Time as their friend. Well thought through, and nicely crafted. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
I like the personification of Time, as it seems like a person we would wish to keep close to, beneficent and distributing happy parts of our lives (rich), and balancing those with times when we feel time-poor. Certainly at the end of life most people try to cling to Time as their friend. Well thought through, and nicely crafted. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Hey Wendy! Thank you. I really appreciate your comments and well wishes. Hugs!!
Melissa
Comment from Lisasview
Ahhh yes...time...where did it go... We need to do what we enjoy...right, because as they say "Time Marches On"
As we get older we all realise this.
Just wondering why you capitalised Time...as it is after a comma..and in the middle of a sentence..
I suppose you wanted to let the reader know that this was a poem about time but I am not sure it is necessary...because it is obvious that your poem is about time.
Lisa
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
Ahhh yes...time...where did it go... We need to do what we enjoy...right, because as they say "Time Marches On"
As we get older we all realise this.
Just wondering why you capitalised Time...as it is after a comma..and in the middle of a sentence..
I suppose you wanted to let the reader know that this was a poem about time but I am not sure it is necessary...because it is obvious that your poem is about time.
Lisa
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Hello Lisa. Thanks so much. I really appreciate your comments and will relook at my verse. :)
Melissa
-
Always enjoy reviewing and letting the writer if I come across something that needs looking at.
Lisa
Comment from Paul McFarland
This is a really good shortie, Melissa. I just reread this poem a couple of times, and IO have changed my rating from a five to a six. This should do very well in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
 |
This is a really good shortie, Melissa. I just reread this poem a couple of times, and IO have changed my rating from a five to a six. This should do very well in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much, Paul for the lovely gift and review. Hugs!!
Melissa
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
To cope with time, you can keep a journal as to what you can get done and how you feel. There are certain days when there seems to be less time: Accept what you can and cannot control about time; Define what "time well spent" means for you; Find a way to fit your most significant activities into your life; Focus on doing a few things that count during the day. Like your couplet.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
|
To cope with time, you can keep a journal as to what you can get done and how you feel. There are certain days when there seems to be less time: Accept what you can and cannot control about time; Define what "time well spent" means for you; Find a way to fit your most significant activities into your life; Focus on doing a few things that count during the day. Like your couplet.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023
-
Hello Rosemary. Great advice in your review. I enjoyed reading your comments. Thanks so much!
Melissa
