Christmas in New Zealand
A picture book depicting Chrishmas in the Southern hemispere5 total reviews
Comment from JSD
An alien world to us in Britain. Usually we just get rain, like today! But your jaunty rhyme and rhythm are perfect and this is a lovely, child-like celebration of the season. Well done and good luck with it.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
  |
An alien world to us in Britain. Usually we just get rain, like today! But your jaunty rhyme and rhythm are perfect and this is a lovely, child-like celebration of the season. Well done and good luck with it.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
-
Thanks for your comments
Comment from lancellot
This is a very nice Christmas poem for the contest. It is made for children, but I think the children will notice the contradiction with Santa, and the family giving presents.
notes:
Taking our some money
-Taking out some money
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
|
This is a very nice Christmas poem for the contest. It is made for children, but I think the children will notice the contradiction with Santa, and the family giving presents.
notes:
Taking our some money
-Taking out some money
Comment Written 23-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
-
Thanks for the correction
Comment from jim vecchio
CONGRATULATIONS ON THIS FIRST MILESTONE!!! Hope to see many, many more! This was a cute post for the Christmas holidays. Hope you have fun at Christmas! Even here in Florida, if we had a barbecue, some would freeze to death!
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
|
CONGRATULATIONS ON THIS FIRST MILESTONE!!! Hope to see many, many more! This was a cute post for the Christmas holidays. Hope you have fun at Christmas! Even here in Florida, if we had a barbecue, some would freeze to death!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
-
Thanks for reading my poem. I've never experienced a white Christmas
-
I had my share and don't miss the shoveling, which I couldn't do now if my life depended on it.
Comment from Richard's Opus
Welcome to FanStory, NanaGaye. This little Christmas poem was fun to read, and made me smile in several places. Sometimes, the lack of a strict adherance to meter in some of the stanzas caused some hesitation in the flow of the poem for me. I like to use a metronome set at a predetermined beat to click out the rhythm as I read the words aloud. Even a few extra syllables in words in one stanza over the next can feel like a band member marching out of step in a parade . There was also one typo that you probably want to correct:
Dad's at the bank
Taking out some money, instead of Taking our some money
Good luck in th contest.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
|
Welcome to FanStory, NanaGaye. This little Christmas poem was fun to read, and made me smile in several places. Sometimes, the lack of a strict adherance to meter in some of the stanzas caused some hesitation in the flow of the poem for me. I like to use a metronome set at a predetermined beat to click out the rhythm as I read the words aloud. Even a few extra syllables in words in one stanza over the next can feel like a band member marching out of step in a parade . There was also one typo that you probably want to correct:
Dad's at the bank
Taking out some money, instead of Taking our some money
Good luck in th contest.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
-
Thanks for you advice
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A lovely upbeat poem for Christmas and I enjoyed your positivity, good luck with the contest and welcome to Fanstory.
A small edit here:
Taking (out) some money
It's great you have flowers to pick at this time of year!
Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
|
A lovely upbeat poem for Christmas and I enjoyed your positivity, good luck with the contest and welcome to Fanstory.
A small edit here:
Taking (out) some money
It's great you have flowers to pick at this time of year!
Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 22-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
-
Thanks for the correction