Apple Pie Hill
This is a rhymed poem.40 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
Robert,
I love this rhyming poem. To me, rhyming poems are hard, for you want to ensure it does not sound forced. This work is balanced and it sounds very nice when it is recited.
You gave your readers a walk among Mother Nature in palatial natural places known to New Jersey. I have never been to New Jersey, but now I would love to visit.
I live in Louisiana not far from our beautiful swamps and rivers and rushing creeks. Often, when visiting my daughter who lives right on the river, I eye the local resident basking in the sun. Sometimes, he has a friend who may be his mate. I have named him Dip. He's an 8 ft gorgeous alligator.
Your poem is beautiful and the author's note are very educational. Thank you.
Jimi
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Robert,
I love this rhyming poem. To me, rhyming poems are hard, for you want to ensure it does not sound forced. This work is balanced and it sounds very nice when it is recited.
You gave your readers a walk among Mother Nature in palatial natural places known to New Jersey. I have never been to New Jersey, but now I would love to visit.
I live in Louisiana not far from our beautiful swamps and rivers and rushing creeks. Often, when visiting my daughter who lives right on the river, I eye the local resident basking in the sun. Sometimes, he has a friend who may be his mate. I have named him Dip. He's an 8 ft gorgeous alligator.
Your poem is beautiful and the author's note are very educational. Thank you.
Jimi
Comment Written 05-May-2024
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh, WOW!
'Tis quite the adventure, just reading this verse!
I'm nervous! Review it? I'll have to rehearse!
I don't feel I'm qualified, but I will try -
the vista you paint brings a tear to my eye!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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Oh, WOW!
'Tis quite the adventure, just reading this verse!
I'm nervous! Review it? I'll have to rehearse!
I don't feel I'm qualified, but I will try -
the vista you paint brings a tear to my eye!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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Hello Dawn,
Sorry for the late response, I've been off the site much of the time with other activities that keep me away.
Thank you for the marvelous review and rating. I guarantee you that you are more than qualified to review my poetry or any other writing on this site. I recall your wonderful poems about the orchids, and many rhymed gems.
Apple Pie Hill was an inevitable poem as I've been hiking, exploring and canoeing its trails and rivers for many decades.
It's a joy to write about a place with such marvelous natural plants and animals that few people know about.
Thank you for the kind and encouraging words. my friend.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
Comment from robyn corum
Hello, friend!
Well, I *finally* got over here. Whew! Scary to say I'm not nearly as fast as I used to be... what on earth happens to a person as they age? (Yeah, you probably haven't learned that yet. *smile*)
This piece was full of vivid imagery, lyrical prose, and new, unusual verbiage. In addition, you were putting all kinds of poetic devices to work!
It's clear you've been given a heaping (extra) helping of talent. What I especially appreciate about that is--first of all--you actively, diligently apply it (Thank you! This means EVERYone benefits!), and secondly, I just happen to be one of the many lucky folks blessed to be readers. *smile*
I do have a couple notes for you -- but it's not like you need help. (And certainly not from ME.) Take what you like, if anything, and toss the rest.
1.) "I'm going; I'm going, where curly ferns grow( )
The soil is sandy and cedar streams flow."
--> Just a comma after the first 'going', please
--> consider another form of punctuation after 'grow' -- Either a period or semi-colon ?
1a.) "The soil is sandy and cedar streams flow."
--> I'm from the Deep South, so it's easy for me to make this line work. *smile* For others, I'm afraid they may see 'soil' as a one-syllable creature -- which, I believe would be the more correct interpretation--which leaves you a syllable short
--> The soil (there) is sandy and cedar streams flow. (-or-)
--> The (rich) soil is sandy and cedar streams flow.
--> OR I'll shut up and let the master come up with something way better!! haha!
2.) The water's tea-colored from roots of the trees--
--> A silly moment spent telling you this, but you've missed an opportunity to inject more imagery. In place of that highly-forgettable, 'fill-in' word ('the'), consider using something of substance that might add more umph -- (even a tiny umph)... like:
--> The water's tea-colored from roots of (old) trees--
3.) The croaking of male frogs envelops the night;
--> The croaking (from shadows) envelops the night;
--> since you also use 'frogs' in the next sentence -- I first thought to suggest 'toads', but that's just not the same, is it?
That's it. And as you can see, none of them are earth-shattering, and/or would affect your message. Clearly, these are subjective issues, also, so they could not, would not, should not affect any rating. *smile*
Again, it's delightful to see you and I look forward to much more from your skillful pen. Please have a magical week!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello, friend!
Well, I *finally* got over here. Whew! Scary to say I'm not nearly as fast as I used to be... what on earth happens to a person as they age? (Yeah, you probably haven't learned that yet. *smile*)
This piece was full of vivid imagery, lyrical prose, and new, unusual verbiage. In addition, you were putting all kinds of poetic devices to work!
It's clear you've been given a heaping (extra) helping of talent. What I especially appreciate about that is--first of all--you actively, diligently apply it (Thank you! This means EVERYone benefits!), and secondly, I just happen to be one of the many lucky folks blessed to be readers. *smile*
I do have a couple notes for you -- but it's not like you need help. (And certainly not from ME.) Take what you like, if anything, and toss the rest.
1.) "I'm going; I'm going, where curly ferns grow( )
The soil is sandy and cedar streams flow."
--> Just a comma after the first 'going', please
--> consider another form of punctuation after 'grow' -- Either a period or semi-colon ?
1a.) "The soil is sandy and cedar streams flow."
--> I'm from the Deep South, so it's easy for me to make this line work. *smile* For others, I'm afraid they may see 'soil' as a one-syllable creature -- which, I believe would be the more correct interpretation--which leaves you a syllable short
--> The soil (there) is sandy and cedar streams flow. (-or-)
--> The (rich) soil is sandy and cedar streams flow.
--> OR I'll shut up and let the master come up with something way better!! haha!
2.) The water's tea-colored from roots of the trees--
--> A silly moment spent telling you this, but you've missed an opportunity to inject more imagery. In place of that highly-forgettable, 'fill-in' word ('the'), consider using something of substance that might add more umph -- (even a tiny umph)... like:
--> The water's tea-colored from roots of (old) trees--
3.) The croaking of male frogs envelops the night;
--> The croaking (from shadows) envelops the night;
--> since you also use 'frogs' in the next sentence -- I first thought to suggest 'toads', but that's just not the same, is it?
That's it. And as you can see, none of them are earth-shattering, and/or would affect your message. Clearly, these are subjective issues, also, so they could not, would not, should not affect any rating. *smile*
Again, it's delightful to see you and I look forward to much more from your skillful pen. Please have a magical week!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Robyn.
Thank you for the outstanding, detailed review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and the rhythm of the pines. I appreciate the effort and thorough analysis with good suggestions.
"I'm going; I'm going, where curly ferns grow,
The soil is sandy and cedar streams flow.
I agree on the first comma rather than semicolon.
The comma after grow I want, as I consider the two lines a complete thought.
" Yes, I know "soil" is one syllable, but the Pineys would pronounce it with two. :) Also, any adjective disrupts the rhyme I prefer.
I like the use of "old" rather than the boring "the." good call
The use of frogs and treefrogs is okay. They aren't really toads.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and six stars very much.
A six star review!
Best wishes to you.
Robert
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent imagery a treat for the senses.
We have an Apple Hill in California.. they have the best Apple pies among many other delicious food.
As always, the rhymes and meter are perfect.
The presentation is beautiful.
Best wishes,
Gypsy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Excellent imagery a treat for the senses.
We have an Apple Hill in California.. they have the best Apple pies among many other delicious food.
As always, the rhymes and meter are perfect.
The presentation is beautiful.
Best wishes,
Gypsy
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Gypsy. Thank you for the excellent review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and the rhymes/meter. The origin of the name, Apple Pie Hill, is unknown, which adds to the intrigue of the area.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and stars very much.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment from Gloria ....
The metre works very well with the content of your image filled romp through the Pinelands National Reserve.
Readers are treated to much of the sounds of sights of the preserve and are honoured to be there.
Very well done and a pleasure to read and review today. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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The metre works very well with the content of your image filled romp through the Pinelands National Reserve.
Readers are treated to much of the sounds of sights of the preserve and are honoured to be there.
Very well done and a pleasure to read and review today. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Gloria. Thank you for the marvelous review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and the rhythm of the pines. It is a place many are not familiar with, but I've been hiking/exploring the ironically named barrens for decades.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and six stars very much.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
Comment from T B Botts
Hello RS,
I'm so pleased that you have access to such a wild and large area along the Eastern seacoast. It sounds like a delightful place to visit. I assume you're allowed to go fishing there? There is nothing like the wild outdoors to bring about a feeling of peace. Congratulations on the ATB award.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello RS,
I'm so pleased that you have access to such a wild and large area along the Eastern seacoast. It sounds like a delightful place to visit. I assume you're allowed to go fishing there? There is nothing like the wild outdoors to bring about a feeling of peace. Congratulations on the ATB award.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Tom. Thank you for the excellent review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and the description of the Pinelands. I've been exploring/hiking this unique area for many decades.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and stars very much.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I really, really liked reading this poem. It definitely uses unique details to give a sense of place.
Favorite lines:
Some say it's a ghost town, that souls linger there,
And sounds of a paper mill still haunt the air.
You'll get the odd feeling that you're not alone;
The wind in the bush has a whispery tone.
and also the lines about the frogs.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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I really, really liked reading this poem. It definitely uses unique details to give a sense of place.
Favorite lines:
Some say it's a ghost town, that souls linger there,
And sounds of a paper mill still haunt the air.
You'll get the odd feeling that you're not alone;
The wind in the bush has a whispery tone.
and also the lines about the frogs.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Crystie. Thank you for the marvelous review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and the intricate details. Thanks for noting your favorite lines. It's always good to learn what resonates with readers.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and splendid stars very much.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What an amazing wealth of knowledge about this landscape you include in this well-crafted verse, vividly infused with your thoughts and dreams and bringing nature to life in all its beauty. As fluent as those rivers and an absolute credit to your wonderful appreciation of your surroundings. Thanks for sharing, Steve, and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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What an amazing wealth of knowledge about this landscape you include in this well-crafted verse, vividly infused with your thoughts and dreams and bringing nature to life in all its beauty. As fluent as those rivers and an absolute credit to your wonderful appreciation of your surroundings. Thanks for sharing, Steve, and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Debbie. Thank you for the excellent review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and the flow of the meter.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and good luck wishes very much.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment from Begin Again
what a glorious outing you took the reader on and the description made us feel like we were walking right there. I truly enjoyed the poem and thank you for sharing.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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what a glorious outing you took the reader on and the description made us feel like we were walking right there. I truly enjoyed the poem and thank you for sharing.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Hello Carol. Thank you for the excellent review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and felt like you were walk on the trails.
I appreciated the encouraging comments and stars very much.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment from nomi338
I have but one word for this awesomely crafted point. That word is, CLASSIC. Anyone desiring to see an example of classic poetry, done the way the master did it, Need only look at this excellent example to see it. This is simply outstanding work.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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I have but one word for this awesomely crafted point. That word is, CLASSIC. Anyone desiring to see an example of classic poetry, done the way the master did it, Need only look at this excellent example to see it. This is simply outstanding work.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Nolan. Thank you for the splendid review and rating for my poem, Apple Pie Hill. I?m glad you enjoyed the sensory imagery and felt it worthy of the designation "classic." High praise indeed. Thank you!
I appreciated the encouraging comments and marvelous six star rating very much.
Best wishes to all.
Robert
