A Yogi Bhajan Parable
Yogi Bhajan was the leader of the American Sikh movement.2 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Well, I enjoyed that conversation very much! Your free verse flowed smoothly and engagingly and your story was a delight to read. I'm intrigued by the way you've set your verse out and don't know whether that shape has any particular significance. Also, I wonder if you need to start each line with a capital letter because that becomes awkward when you have a break in the word. Personally, I'd keep to lower-case. But this is a very imaginative, humorous and well constructed story in verse. By the way, it's also not advisable to put title and your name in the text box and can be problematic in limited word/syllable verses. Hope this helps but, please remember, these are only suggestions. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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Well, I enjoyed that conversation very much! Your free verse flowed smoothly and engagingly and your story was a delight to read. I'm intrigued by the way you've set your verse out and don't know whether that shape has any particular significance. Also, I wonder if you need to start each line with a capital letter because that becomes awkward when you have a break in the word. Personally, I'd keep to lower-case. But this is a very imaginative, humorous and well constructed story in verse. By the way, it's also not advisable to put title and your name in the text box and can be problematic in limited word/syllable verses. Hope this helps but, please remember, these are only suggestions. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 06-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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Thank you, Debbie. Your suggestions are excellent.
Comment from Wy Jung
I enjoyed reading this. It was very unique and the style was one I'd not seen yet, but favor. The tale is timeless and ends on a positive note.
Because I am glassesless as I read this, I wished for a slightly bigger font but otherwise, well done.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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I enjoyed reading this. It was very unique and the style was one I'd not seen yet, but favor. The tale is timeless and ends on a positive note.
Because I am glassesless as I read this, I wished for a slightly bigger font but otherwise, well done.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thanks. I've strengthened the font to be more visible. Cheers.
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Thanks. I've strengthened the font to be more visible. Cheers.
