Death, Crimes and Misdemeanors A-Z
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Francesca Finds Frank"Nefarious Deeds
24 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
What I love about your stories is there is alway a twist at the end.
I got more and more anxious as the story unfolded so I was not 100 percent alert on tiny telltales details ...
hence I had not caught onto the fact they were all dolls until I read the last paragraph.
Loved this twist.
I went back and re read the story, when Francesca says :
When she went back to the living room, he was gone. Her mother had made him go away. Mother shelved him.
This was revealing
Also this part now I understood:
He had his own horse. He wasn't full-size, though.
on first read it puzzled me but the bulb light didn't turn on yet.
One of my favourite films is Lars and The Real Girl (2007)
have you seen it?
Lars buys a LifeSize doll he calls Bianca.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Ciao!
What I love about your stories is there is alway a twist at the end.
I got more and more anxious as the story unfolded so I was not 100 percent alert on tiny telltales details ...
hence I had not caught onto the fact they were all dolls until I read the last paragraph.
Loved this twist.
I went back and re read the story, when Francesca says :
When she went back to the living room, he was gone. Her mother had made him go away. Mother shelved him.
This was revealing
Also this part now I understood:
He had his own horse. He wasn't full-size, though.
on first read it puzzled me but the bulb light didn't turn on yet.
One of my favourite films is Lars and The Real Girl (2007)
have you seen it?
Lars buys a LifeSize doll he calls Bianca.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much for the six. I already wrote, and sent you the addition. Karen
Comment from Sanku
I am so relieved that it is not a coffin box and there is no murder.I was dreading it as I read on.
Unusual plot but the opening of the ox is the climax. But i am wondering male dolls were not common were they?
I enjoyed reading this in your usual style..
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2024
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I am so relieved that it is not a coffin box and there is no murder.I was dreading it as I read on.
Unusual plot but the opening of the ox is the climax. But i am wondering male dolls were not common were they?
I enjoyed reading this in your usual style..
Comment Written 06-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2024
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No, they had to be specially ordered from France.
I thank you for the read and comments. I was thinking of posting another story giving all the background and further incidents, would you want to read it? Karen
Comment from BethShelby
Well Francesca can't complain too much. If he doesn't talk enough, she can put him in the box and send him back. At least he don't stink and he he's purty. I wrote a poem Called Fancesca. You'd like it because someone dies in it. I'll have pull it out and recycle it.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Well Francesca can't complain too much. If he doesn't talk enough, she can put him in the box and send him back. At least he don't stink and he he's purty. I wrote a poem Called Fancesca. You'd like it because someone dies in it. I'll have pull it out and recycle it.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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People don't have to die for me to like a poem.
But, I appreciate you thinking of me. Karen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Too bad Francesca had to wait to decide who was right man for her. I can't judge, though, I can't chose who would be the right man for me. I picked wrong ones.
Your story is a bit confusing.
Well done
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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Too bad Francesca had to wait to decide who was right man for her. I can't judge, though, I can't chose who would be the right man for me. I picked wrong ones.
Your story is a bit confusing.
Well done
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 04-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
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They were dolls. In my brain it was obvious. Apparently that was the only place that was true. I have written another post which gives backstory and explains my thinking. You might find it helpful. Karen
Comment from Gloria ....
I found this to be a most engaging story. While reading I felt caught inside a hermetically sealed tomb somewhere between the Twilight Zone and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane as none of the interactions were vibrant and filled with life. Francesca was feckless and mother was a hideous control freak.
How clever to introduce a setting with the year 1910 and mother's suitor who wore too much "Dark Desire" cologne. Enter in Great Expectations and Miss Havisham. I imagined a Victorian visiting room with elaborate furniture, curtains, carpets, and wallpapers, as well as paintings, sculptures, and other artworks that was a place where etiquette and manners were observed and expected.
I think the story needs more work, because male dolls are not all that common, and we do need a touchstone in reality, but what a great idea! Your muse is working overtime.
Much enjoyed. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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I found this to be a most engaging story. While reading I felt caught inside a hermetically sealed tomb somewhere between the Twilight Zone and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane as none of the interactions were vibrant and filled with life. Francesca was feckless and mother was a hideous control freak.
How clever to introduce a setting with the year 1910 and mother's suitor who wore too much "Dark Desire" cologne. Enter in Great Expectations and Miss Havisham. I imagined a Victorian visiting room with elaborate furniture, curtains, carpets, and wallpapers, as well as paintings, sculptures, and other artworks that was a place where etiquette and manners were observed and expected.
I think the story needs more work, because male dolls are not all that common, and we do need a touchstone in reality, but what a great idea! Your muse is working overtime.
Much enjoyed. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 04-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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I hope you enjoyed the back story I sent you. :-) Karen
Comment from kahpot
This is a wonderfully interesting read, I like the way you describe these characters and the times, "It was not the Dark Ages, for heaven's sake. Books were available for purchase in every town" and the ending is excellent, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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This is a wonderfully interesting read, I like the way you describe these characters and the times, "It was not the Dark Ages, for heaven's sake. Books were available for purchase in every town" and the ending is excellent, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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I appreciate your reading my story, and your kind comments. I watch a lot of BritBox and PBS. Sometimes I speak more like I am from England than from Texas. :-) Karen
Comment from jmdg1954
So each successive boyfriend was a doll? The last one out of a box.
Maybe I'm a tad confused. Plus I don't understand the note about Rachelle Allen.
It could be me but the font was a bit difficult to read.
Sorry for all the negatives, just keeping it real...
John
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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So each successive boyfriend was a doll? The last one out of a box.
Maybe I'm a tad confused. Plus I don't understand the note about Rachelle Allen.
It could be me but the font was a bit difficult to read.
Sorry for all the negatives, just keeping it real...
John
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2024
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Yes, the woman is board-certified looney tunes.
Raschelle Allen is my friend and she wrote me a kick ass story for my contest "Let's all kill Karen"
so, I told her I would write her a story. She liked the name Francesca, so I wrote her a story. The font is large 24. So, I don't understand how to is hard to read. It is big. Karen
Comment from Daylily
I like the very surprising twist to this story which I did not catch right away. You are a very clever writer and come up with some great plots. This held my interest all the way through and that is an excellent skill for any writer to have for the enjoyment of a reader.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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I like the very surprising twist to this story which I did not catch right away. You are a very clever writer and come up with some great plots. This held my interest all the way through and that is an excellent skill for any writer to have for the enjoyment of a reader.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much. I actually had to edit it twice because no one was picking up on my subtle clues of her never going anywhere with her guys, eating with her guys, no dialogue with her guys,
I wanted to be suave and clever. Oh well, back to hitting people over the head, Karen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is fun to read. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Curtis used no cologne, But she could smell a small hint of his pine soap about him. (lower case 'b' on 'but' or change comma after 'cologne' to a period)
Her Momma started to introduce Francesca to new young (lower case 'm' on 'momma' because of 'Her')
She fusses over momma (capital 'M' on 'Momma')
Then her momma died, and her heart just quit one day. ( I don't think you need 'and' in this sentence, if her momma died then her heart quit.)
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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This is fun to read. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Curtis used no cologne, But she could smell a small hint of his pine soap about him. (lower case 'b' on 'but' or change comma after 'cologne' to a period)
Her Momma started to introduce Francesca to new young (lower case 'm' on 'momma' because of 'Her')
She fusses over momma (capital 'M' on 'Momma')
Then her momma died, and her heart just quit one day. ( I don't think you need 'and' in this sentence, if her momma died then her heart quit.)
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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You are right. I will go fix it. Thanks for the read and the edit. Karen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I get it now, thanks! Not sure where Rachelle fits in. But this is a fantasy world with dolls not people (clue:opening the box). It's just there's no murder which I've come to expect. But well expressed in clear and readable text with a fine twist at the end. Once again, you've caught us napping. Now about me? What do you really think about my pig:)) Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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I get it now, thanks! Not sure where Rachelle fits in. But this is a fantasy world with dolls not people (clue:opening the box). It's just there's no murder which I've come to expect. But well expressed in clear and readable text with a fine twist at the end. Once again, you've caught us napping. Now about me? What do you really think about my pig:)) Take care Debbie
Comment Written 03-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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I love your pig. Thanks for the read and nice comments. Rachelle wrote me an hysterical story for my contests, I told her I would right her a story, and gave her names to choose from. Are we sure Francesca didn't help her mother to her just reward? And just how did she get rid of Harriet?
:-) Karen