Love and Babies
A chance encounter.7 total reviews
Comment from Mintybee
This was just the right about of funny and touching. I liked the structure you used, having the time stamp throughout the story. The sleep deprived banter was amusing and kept my attention. I loved the main characters.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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This was just the right about of funny and touching. I liked the structure you used, having the time stamp throughout the story. The sleep deprived banter was amusing and kept my attention. I loved the main characters.
Mintybee
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the kind review and for being my first fan! I am new to the site, but honored by your support. Thank you, Tyler
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really enjoyed reading this contest entry. I loved the banter back and force. Great dialogue. Good luck with the contest.
f you give me my hand back." He said. (back," he said.)
hat she felt for my brother in law Douglas." (law,)
My sister Eve was a mess. (sister,)
]
"Ms. Pearson, your sister is asking for you." The nurse interrupted. (you," the)
. "How's Eve doing?" She asked Richard. (she)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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I really enjoyed reading this contest entry. I loved the banter back and force. Great dialogue. Good luck with the contest.
f you give me my hand back." He said. (back," he said.)
hat she felt for my brother in law Douglas." (law,)
My sister Eve was a mess. (sister,)
]
"Ms. Pearson, your sister is asking for you." The nurse interrupted. (you," the)
. "How's Eve doing?" She asked Richard. (she)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the review and the structure advice. I think I am a talented writer, but I haven't had formal education for grammar and the like. I will apply what you said to future work. Thanks again, Tyler
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is excellent writing for the challenge! It has good descriptive words, imagery, and dialogue. Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reviewing it.
Best wishes!
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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This is excellent writing for the challenge! It has good descriptive words, imagery, and dialogue. Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reviewing it.
Best wishes!
Alex
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thanks for this as well as the other reviews you have left. I am trying to navigate so I couldn't thank you for appreciating my take on sloths. Thanks, Tyler
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your story is well written, compelling, and flows smoothly from beginning to end. The narrative is clear and engaging and the dialogue is realistic.
There are contests created by the site, as this one is. Website employees determine the winners. If you win first place, which is one hundred dollars, you can choose actual cash, an Amazon gift card, or member dollars to be used to promote your future posts. Site contests are free to join. There are contests created by members. You pay member dollars to join. They are called 'blind' because your name is not revealed. Members vote on the entry they feel should win. All winnings are paid in member dollars (no actual cash). I wish you the best in THIS contest.
Suggestion for improvement: Using a larger font attracts more readers, including those with older eyes.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Your story is well written, compelling, and flows smoothly from beginning to end. The narrative is clear and engaging and the dialogue is realistic.
There are contests created by the site, as this one is. Website employees determine the winners. If you win first place, which is one hundred dollars, you can choose actual cash, an Amazon gift card, or member dollars to be used to promote your future posts. Site contests are free to join. There are contests created by members. You pay member dollars to join. They are called 'blind' because your name is not revealed. Members vote on the entry they feel should win. All winnings are paid in member dollars (no actual cash). I wish you the best in THIS contest.
Suggestion for improvement: Using a larger font attracts more readers, including those with older eyes.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the review as well as the information. That was really helpful and understandable. Thanks again, Tyler
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
There's not really a lot to know about contests. They can be blind (in which case your name is hidden) or not as in this case. Sometimes they're judged by the members who vote, other times by the mysterious committee members. This entry is superb. I loved the dialogue and how well it captured the characters in this very credible romance story. It evolved well and, despite the lack of action, I felt fully engaged. In fact I could imagine this as a one-scene play and think it would be equally successful. Very well done here and good luck, Tyler! Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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There's not really a lot to know about contests. They can be blind (in which case your name is hidden) or not as in this case. Sometimes they're judged by the members who vote, other times by the mysterious committee members. This entry is superb. I loved the dialogue and how well it captured the characters in this very credible romance story. It evolved well and, despite the lack of action, I felt fully engaged. In fact I could imagine this as a one-scene play and think it would be equally successful. Very well done here and good luck, Tyler! Debbie
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Debbie. I actually tried to write it as a mini play, so that was a spot on review. Thanks again, Tyler
Comment from Mia Twysted
This was a wonderful story. I was drawn in and captivated the entire time. I love how you have it come back to the hospital with their sisters telling their little side of the story. It might help to make the font larger so it is easier to read on the screen.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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This was a wonderful story. I was drawn in and captivated the entire time. I love how you have it come back to the hospital with their sisters telling their little side of the story. It might help to make the font larger so it is easier to read on the screen.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the 6 star review. Always heartwarming. I will take heed of the font size because it would help me as well. Thank you, Tyler
Comment from royowen
A great post, and even more because it's so romantic, it's probably a one in a million shot, two people waiting for the respective sister to give birth.strike up the perfect relationship and creating their own little human, beautifully written, that's the beauty of writing, one can create one's own miracle. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo (lightening) struck.
One lightens a load While lightning strikes.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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A great post, and even more because it's so romantic, it's probably a one in a million shot, two people waiting for the respective sister to give birth.strike up the perfect relationship and creating their own little human, beautifully written, that's the beauty of writing, one can create one's own miracle. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo (lightening) struck.
One lightens a load While lightning strikes.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the review and the heads up. I caught the typo in the second read through, but neglected to fix it before post. I would say that proof reading is where I struggle most as a writer, but I am working on it. Thanks for the 5 stars and take care, Tyler
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It gets easier
