Comment from Julie Helms

Excellent

An interesting poem, almost felt stream-of-consciousness like. As you point out falling in love can be a very scary, vulnerable experience. And your imagery captured that nicely.

I have to share some thing about your metaphor with the worm drying out on the blacktop. At our house, After a storm when all the worms are stranded on our driveway, my chickens come out and have an absolute field day slurping them down. I know this has nothing to do with your metaphors or your poem. Just thought I would share! Thanks so much. Julie

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2024

Hi Julie,
Thanks for your feedback. I was going for a stream-of-consciousness vibe. Haha thanks for sharing that story. My brother and I used to run out and try to save all the worms by putting them in the garden, where they probably got eaten. Lol

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Love the way you changed from don't like it, to don't want it, your descriptions of feelings are excellent, if I could suggest making the font larger, as trying to read this one was difficult and to me, interrupted the flow, very well done****kahpot

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024

Thanks for the feedback! I will change the font.