The Art Student
Revisiting/Revising early poetry ~ my 5th poem31 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and nice presentation, Melissa.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You did a good job with the poem.
-Effective imagery and rhyme create
a vivid word picture of this girl.
-It is interesting that her dress
fits like a "gunny sack." I thought
she would wear a mini skirt, but
you did add the tights.
-I like all of the color references
in the poem, especially in the conclusion.
-Well done and descriptive.
-
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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-Very nice artwork and nice presentation, Melissa.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-You did a good job with the poem.
-Effective imagery and rhyme create
a vivid word picture of this girl.
-It is interesting that her dress
fits like a "gunny sack." I thought
she would wear a mini skirt, but
you did add the tights.
-I like all of the color references
in the poem, especially in the conclusion.
-Well done and descriptive.
-
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hey Pam... thanks so much. I began looking at my older pieces and chuckled at style and such. I didn't even know what meter was in 2017. It's been a wonderful learning adventure. Thanks for all of the ways you have contributed to helping me grow :). Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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You are very welcome, Melissa, and thanks for your reply. I think we all continue to learn, and this site is one way that happens. Hugs, back to you!
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Oh Melissa, this was so much fun and so very cute. You were B bopping to a fun song from years ago and having a great time. At least that is the way it sounded as it bounced so very well. Thank you for sharing about how it is you saw this young colorful girl. It was so so very sweet!
Love, Debi
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Oh Melissa, this was so much fun and so very cute. You were B bopping to a fun song from years ago and having a great time. At least that is the way it sounded as it bounced so very well. Thank you for sharing about how it is you saw this young colorful girl. It was so so very sweet!
Love, Debi
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hello Debi. I was looking at my older pieces and it made me chuckle. FS has really been and continues to be a wonderful adventure :). Thank you.
Melissa
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Melissa,
I love the rhyme and rhythm of this piece. Remembering my early, blissful days here at FanStory always makes me smile. I wrote so much during those first two years - I finished three novels and wrote about two-hundred short stories. Where did that energy come from???
Thank you for sharing some of your early work,
~patty~
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hi Melissa,
I love the rhyme and rhythm of this piece. Remembering my early, blissful days here at FanStory always makes me smile. I wrote so much during those first two years - I finished three novels and wrote about two-hundred short stories. Where did that energy come from???
Thank you for sharing some of your early work,
~patty~
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hello Patty. I was looking at my older pieces and it made me chuckle. FS has really been and continues to be a wonderful adventure :). Thank you.
Melissa
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
You started writing poetry a year before me.
It's clear reading this awesome poem that you had a gift for words.
It's fresh, colourful,
a delightful read ..
She reminds me of a chameleon , I love their bright rainbow hues.
Despite my innate gloominess, I'm drawn to her pop art persona , love the lass' bubbly personality.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Ciao!
You started writing poetry a year before me.
It's clear reading this awesome poem that you had a gift for words.
It's fresh, colourful,
a delightful read ..
She reminds me of a chameleon , I love their bright rainbow hues.
Despite my innate gloominess, I'm drawn to her pop art persona , love the lass' bubbly personality.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hello Franca. Thank you for your delightful review and comments. Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from papa55mike
Working for the schools, I saw a lot of those people who seemed to have their heads in a cloud. Now, I'm one of them without the hair. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Working for the schools, I saw a lot of those people who seemed to have their heads in a cloud. Now, I'm one of them without the hair. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much Mike!!
Melissa
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Melissa,
I'm grateful to your son. Otherwise, think of all the wonderful poems you've penned that we couldn't read. You aren't the only one who has benefitted from his kindness... Discovery! A Poet was born!
In this particular poem, you've used rhymes and inner rhymes to describe this young girl and her life. And you used so many colors, too, like a rainbow... "pink/green/white/black/blue/reds/yellow"...
"she's off to see her rainbow fellow."
This reminds me of a wonderful album I bought many years ago, "Wait'll You Hear This!". There's a song on it called "Rainbow Man"... by Noel Paul Stookey and the BodyWorks Band. I hope you'll look it up, and have a listen... terrific song! In case you don't know, Noel Paul Stookey is Paul of Peter Paul & Mary. But he had a Christian band for a while, too. The "Rainbow Man", of course, is Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I think your poems are wonderful, a color wheel where one blends into another!
Thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hi Melissa,
I'm grateful to your son. Otherwise, think of all the wonderful poems you've penned that we couldn't read. You aren't the only one who has benefitted from his kindness... Discovery! A Poet was born!
In this particular poem, you've used rhymes and inner rhymes to describe this young girl and her life. And you used so many colors, too, like a rainbow... "pink/green/white/black/blue/reds/yellow"...
"she's off to see her rainbow fellow."
This reminds me of a wonderful album I bought many years ago, "Wait'll You Hear This!". There's a song on it called "Rainbow Man"... by Noel Paul Stookey and the BodyWorks Band. I hope you'll look it up, and have a listen... terrific song! In case you don't know, Noel Paul Stookey is Paul of Peter Paul & Mary. But he had a Christian band for a while, too. The "Rainbow Man", of course, is Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I think your poems are wonderful, a color wheel where one blends into another!
Thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hey KB... thanks so much. I began looking at my older pieces and chuckled at style and such. I didn't even know what meter was in 2017. It's been a wonderful learning adventure. Thanks for all of the ways you have contributed to helping me grow :). Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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You're a terrific poet now, Melissa! You had the talent, but just didn't know it yet in 2017.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Melissa, thank you for sharing this poem with us. Your poem is filled with vivid imagery. I feel like this is a person that we may see in any busy city. Of special note:
Pop Art, fresh start,
cutting edge right to the heart.
(The essence of an art student)
Perfect photo choice. A pleasure to read. Well done. Xo. Margaret
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hi Melissa, thank you for sharing this poem with us. Your poem is filled with vivid imagery. I feel like this is a person that we may see in any busy city. Of special note:
Pop Art, fresh start,
cutting edge right to the heart.
(The essence of an art student)
Perfect photo choice. A pleasure to read. Well done. Xo. Margaret
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hey Margaret... thanks so much. I began looking at my older pieces and chuckled at style and such. I didn't even know what meter was in 2017. It's been a wonderful learning adventure. Thanks for all of the ways you have contributed to helping me grow :). Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from karenina
Yay to your son! Look what he started. I'm so glad you're here and this "young" poem has all the charm I love to find in verse! 2017! It's addicting, right? I can't imagine not being a member, even though I post rarely. (I came in 2007--and my first poem(s) were simply horrid!)
YOU make FS a wonderful place, so don't plan on going anywhere!
Karenina
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Yay to your son! Look what he started. I'm so glad you're here and this "young" poem has all the charm I love to find in verse! 2017! It's addicting, right? I can't imagine not being a member, even though I post rarely. (I came in 2007--and my first poem(s) were simply horrid!)
YOU make FS a wonderful place, so don't plan on going anywhere!
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much, Karenina... hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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You're welcome!
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Melissa
And write good poetry you can and this is another good one too
A catchy meter and rhyme and captured the image so well.
Glad you have a good son who gave us a wonderful gift of a terrific poet in you
Cheers Chrisxx
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hi Melissa
And write good poetry you can and this is another good one too
A catchy meter and rhyme and captured the image so well.
Glad you have a good son who gave us a wonderful gift of a terrific poet in you
Cheers Chrisxx
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much, Chrissy! Hugs!
Comment from Paul McFarland
Really nice early poem, Melissa. The repetitive descriptive lines work well here. Great picture to go with your poem. Did you write any poetry before 2017?
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Really nice early poem, Melissa. The repetitive descriptive lines work well here. Great picture to go with your poem. Did you write any poetry before 2017?
Comment Written 19-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Hello Paul... thank you very much... no, I hadn't written poetry before 2017 ~ except for six weeks in High School English class. I really was ignorant about writing poetry. Glad you liked this colorful piece :)
Melissa
