Reviews from

Boy Scout Troop #1068

Flash Fiction Club Entry

26 total reviews 
Comment from Jumbo J
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi John,
here I was enjoying the read and actually following the journey of wonderment, experiencing the troop's willingness to explore that, that has never been seen before and whamo! You added the dreaded twist in! Fast food bags, wrappers, soda cans and half-eaten burgers strewn on the ground. Sad, but sounds right. Hope the boys cleaned it all up and received an extra credit badge along with their Exploration Merit badge!

Great read my friend, very well written!

With our thoughts we create...
the purpose of our actions.

Warm regards,
James.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    James,
    Yow-za? a sixer!
    Thank you my brother. This means a lot to me. Your kind review means even more!
    This was a fun writing assignment and I?m glad you stopped to read it.

    How?ve you been? Did you get your dad?s ashes? If you?ve spread them in a special place, I know you could write a warm and beautiful poem to honor the occasion!

    Just thought.

    Be well!
    John
Comment from w.j.debi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh, no! I didn't expect that twist at the end. Excellent job leading the scout troop (and the reader) into the wilderness. Those wrappers and discarded food were too disturbing to this wonderful nature experience. Great job with the story.

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Whoa? thank you, Debi for your kind review and generous six stars.
    John
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sorry. I wasn't feeling good when this came out. The Nurse wanted me to rest. Now I'm trying to play "catch-up".
When I was a kid, I loved a periodic DC character, Cave Carson where he would always fight some menace under the earth. Too bad the menace this time is Man! This is a good entry and hope you do well!

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you, Jim. I don't recollect that character.
    Agreed, man is culpable.

    Thanks for reading.
    John
reply by jim vecchio on 23-Feb-2024
    He wasn't a full time character, but had some appearances in "Brave And The Bold" and "Showcase" when they previewed comic characters. I know awhile back they had a new series about him, but I avoid all comics now. They've become even weirder thzn me!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I admire your ability to take a prompt and develop an interesting and compelling story. I enjoyed this story and like the troop, expected the discovery of something fascinating and new. What a disappointment to find that disrespectful slobs had violated the cave by leaving garbage. Great story.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you, LJ for this kind review.
    You are always so nice.

    John
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, they were not the first but at least they got to see it all. Very well written with the surprise ending. I sure hope places like that are better cared for in real life because we hope to travel someday. Thank you for sharing your excellent descriptions and dialogue.

Best wishes,

Alex

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    lex,
    Great review. Thank you so much.

    John
Comment from Lisasview
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a shame to be in Spaindisillusioned.... When we think something is so exciting
will be found and realize we are not the first ones to be there!
Lisa............

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Lisa, thank you so much.
    I appreciate you stopping by.
    John
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great story for the prompt. Man, what a let down to find all that garbage in the secret area! I was just on vacation in that area about a month ago when we talked about going into the Luray caverns, but we got a snowstorm so didn't.

allusive path. (I think you mean elusive)
There torch lights clearly showed (their)

Good story with a good twist. Thanks for sharing! Julie.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much for reading my posts?
    John
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wouldn't it have been great to be the first to find the hieroglyphics left by who knows what and when, but alas, it wasn't to be as Ronald McDonald or friends discovered it first.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Tom, I appreciate your reading two of my posts!
    John
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, well done with the ending - so totally unexpected! I was fearing they wouldn't be able to find their way out again. So much for being th efirst human eyes to see the place, and so much for leaving no footprint or trace behind.
Well done.
Wendy
Edit: to a camp sight due south (campsite)
in tact. (intact)
in front of the allusive path (elusive)

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Yikes! Corrections!
    Thank you, Wendy.
    Much appreciated.
    John
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love the idea of these intrepid explorers intent on following the path not taken. Their curiosity and excitement are awe-inspiring, as are the good intentions of their troop leader. What a shame that they had to discover that others had walked that path before them, and shown so little respect. I hope they held onto their pride and excitement since, even though they were not the first to walk that path, they approached it thinking they were, and that took great courage.

You told the story beautifully, keeping it interesting and informative.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Sorry for the late response.
    Been busy at work.
    Thank you for stopping to read.
    John
reply by Michele Harber on 23-Feb-2024
    You're welcome, and you never have to apologize for life getting in the way.