Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Willing Hearts Chapter 4"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
33 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Interesting you have her rubbing Myra's bracelet. I'm law and order special victim Olivia feels responsible for the disappearance of one young girl and she wears her knitted bracelet the whole time and talks to the bracelet very much like Sami does in this case. This will bring the reader in a little bit closer, wondering: "She found something, picked it up, and slipped it into her pocket. I can't tell what it is. She's heading toward her car." I like this line:
"I'm not sure about anything, but I couldn't let Chen have her." there's still tension at the end of this chapter This is excellent excellent. A+
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Interesting you have her rubbing Myra's bracelet. I'm law and order special victim Olivia feels responsible for the disappearance of one young girl and she wears her knitted bracelet the whole time and talks to the bracelet very much like Sami does in this case. This will bring the reader in a little bit closer, wondering: "She found something, picked it up, and slipped it into her pocket. I can't tell what it is. She's heading toward her car." I like this line:
"I'm not sure about anything, but I couldn't let Chen have her." there's still tension at the end of this chapter This is excellent excellent. A+
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Thank you for going back and reading one of the early chapter. I appreciate the support.
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***My pleasure***
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Barbara,
I'm glad I found this chapter buried, as it was, in my message pile. I really like the direction you're taking this. As I remarked before, this is so different from your usual style and tone. Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone. Its raw and it's real.
Of course, I like Seth and Emma, too, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Hi Barbara,
I'm glad I found this chapter buried, as it was, in my message pile. I really like the direction you're taking this. As I remarked before, this is so different from your usual style and tone. Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone. Its raw and it's real.
Of course, I like Seth and Emma, too, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 27-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement. It will end up being a traditional romance. LOL
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That's what you said before, but I like this part as well!!
Comment from lancellot
The structurally writing is fine. It shifts perspectives a bit, and this makes for instantaneous travel, with no sense of time passage. With respect, I would really look closer at the premise of this story and the characters actions/ motivations. Many things seem... unreal, yes there needs to be a suspension of disbelief, but there are limits.
Sami's hate filled eyes met his as she hissed, "Who's protecting me from you?"
- Um... didn't he just rescue her from certain death or being a Mexican Cartel's sex slave?
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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The structurally writing is fine. It shifts perspectives a bit, and this makes for instantaneous travel, with no sense of time passage. With respect, I would really look closer at the premise of this story and the characters actions/ motivations. Many things seem... unreal, yes there needs to be a suspension of disbelief, but there are limits.
Sami's hate filled eyes met his as she hissed, "Who's protecting me from you?"
- Um... didn't he just rescue her from certain death or being a Mexican Cartel's sex slave?
Comment Written 25-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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It's not the Mexican Cartel and Sami has no understanding of what's going on. And much of the information you're seeking will come out very soon. Some on Wednesday. Please be patient.
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Did you watch Game of Thrones?
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Never. I have heard of it, but don't watch TV. We got rid of our cable because of the trash on it.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Every week I have to go back and make sure your name is on this story, knowing that I never dreamed you would ever write anything like this. But I must say you do it well. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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Every week I have to go back and make sure your name is on this story, knowing that I never dreamed you would ever write anything like this. But I must say you do it well. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, but I can promise it will still be my usual romance, with a twist.
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I never had any doubt where your story would be headed. :-)
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Thank you.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Barbara,
Oh, my goodness - this chapter was a nail-biter. I so appreciate how when Sami talks to her dog, they can track her with the information. I may have to steal a very clever literary device from you. Looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hi Barbara,
Oh, my goodness - this chapter was a nail-biter. I so appreciate how when Sami talks to her dog, they can track her with the information. I may have to steal a very clever literary device from you. Looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
Comment from tfawcus
There's a lot of action going on here, and I think the cinematographic technique of cutting from one to the next and back again is working well. The characterisation of Sami is particularly strong. I'm enjoying this and looking forward to the next instalment.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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There's a lot of action going on here, and I think the cinematographic technique of cutting from one to the next and back again is working well. The characterisation of Sami is particularly strong. I'm enjoying this and looking forward to the next instalment.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for this kind review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Sorry, I fell behind. I lost my phone in the massive ATT Cyber attack. Out for a day.
Great chapter. Lots of fast moving action. This story has some kick! Has to six this one as well.
D
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Sorry, I fell behind. I lost my phone in the massive ATT Cyber attack. Out for a day.
Great chapter. Lots of fast moving action. This story has some kick! Has to six this one as well.
D
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement. I've read some abut that cyber-attack. It makes us pause and wonder about the Internet security. It would be very easy to cut the US grid.
Comment from Teri7
This is another exciting and very well written chapter. It always keeps me wondering what is going to happen. I do hope Sami is o.k. I guess you can tell I get attached to certain characters in the story! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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This is another exciting and very well written chapter. It always keeps me wondering what is going to happen. I do hope Sami is o.k. I guess you can tell I get attached to certain characters in the story! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the wonderful support. I get attached too.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a great job you've done with this chapter, Barbars, I really enjoyed it. Where did you research all this? It sounds so real, and poor Sami has no idea what has happened, really happened. I'm looking forward to the next part, excellent chapter! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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What a great job you've done with this chapter, Barbars, I really enjoyed it. Where did you research all this? It sounds so real, and poor Sami has no idea what has happened, really happened. I'm looking forward to the next part, excellent chapter! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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I researched about a half a year before I wrote the story and then did additional research while writing. I don't go to the first sites that pop up on the Internet. I do deep dives. I also know people who work in various areas. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacob1395
The pace is really excellent in this chapter Barbara and this kept me hooked right the way through particularly with what's happening with Sami. I thought your writing flowed really well. Another great read.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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The pace is really excellent in this chapter Barbara and this kept me hooked right the way through particularly with what's happening with Sami. I thought your writing flowed really well. Another great read.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
