Entropy
About the second law of thermodynamics.6 total reviews
Comment from QC Poet
Very nice free verse poem Entropy thought it would be related to Anthropology which I have but your poem covered that nicely Welcome to this poem site
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Very nice free verse poem Entropy thought it would be related to Anthropology which I have but your poem covered that nicely Welcome to this poem site
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much:))
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Thank you so much:))
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. It shows creative originality of thought. I like the idea of the sign saying "Out of order until further notice" as if it were a commentary on this mortal world.
Little fix:
Its the the affair of
I think you mean:
It's the affair of
Love your ending 's' consonance with notice, says, useless, thoughtless, chaos, ashes, pieces.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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I liked reading this. It shows creative originality of thought. I like the idea of the sign saying "Out of order until further notice" as if it were a commentary on this mortal world.
Little fix:
Its the the affair of
I think you mean:
It's the affair of
Love your ending 's' consonance with notice, says, useless, thoughtless, chaos, ashes, pieces.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the feedback Crystie:)) I appreciate it.
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Thank you for the feedback Crystie:)) I appreciate it.
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is an excellent, most thought-provoking piece of poetry.
This sentence was awesome:
We think about the thoughtless
Very good, indeed. Good luck in the competition! Hope to see you around the site!
D
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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This is an excellent, most thought-provoking piece of poetry.
This sentence was awesome:
We think about the thoughtless
Very good, indeed. Good luck in the competition! Hope to see you around the site!
D
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much Douglas:)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Life is a mix of science and nature and humans manipulate both to their advantage. We hope that the love along the way has more influence on us than hate, welcome to Fanstory, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Life is a mix of science and nature and humans manipulate both to their advantage. We hope that the love along the way has more influence on us than hate, welcome to Fanstory, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Couldn?t agree more. Thank you Dolly:)
Comment from Elise H
Hi Sombul. Thanks for sharing your poem with us. I admit, I am not very scientifically minded, but I do love learning about other people's passion for science through poetry.
I think my favorite part of your poem is the image of the out-of-order sign on life's door. That was clever, fit perfectly with your main idea, and nothing anything I'd seen before.
I also enjoyed the allusion in "love to ashes and ashes" and how that came around to (I think) the idea of atoms and other tiny particles in "unseen invisible pieces" in your last line. Again, I'm not a scientist, but I do love the romantic way people in science sometimes describe the world.
For constructive feedback, I did notice a few minor errors. Your "its" in line two should be "it's." You are also missing a word in line five: "Till there a sign at the door of life" should be "Till there *is* a sign at the door of life." These are very minor mistakes, but I thought I would point them out.
Thanks again for sharing. I really liked this one.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Hi Sombul. Thanks for sharing your poem with us. I admit, I am not very scientifically minded, but I do love learning about other people's passion for science through poetry.
I think my favorite part of your poem is the image of the out-of-order sign on life's door. That was clever, fit perfectly with your main idea, and nothing anything I'd seen before.
I also enjoyed the allusion in "love to ashes and ashes" and how that came around to (I think) the idea of atoms and other tiny particles in "unseen invisible pieces" in your last line. Again, I'm not a scientist, but I do love the romantic way people in science sometimes describe the world.
For constructive feedback, I did notice a few minor errors. Your "its" in line two should be "it's." You are also missing a word in line five: "Till there a sign at the door of life" should be "Till there *is* a sign at the door of life." These are very minor mistakes, but I thought I would point them out.
Thanks again for sharing. I really liked this one.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Hi Elise, thank you so much for the feedback. I appreciate it very much:) I?m glad you liked it.
Comment from teafor2
Sombul: Your love of science and human nature put on candid display in
this free flowing lack of punctuation mile a minute rickety split down the
page separation of church and science...Almost a rant, with a teeny nit in
line two (double the the), which you may have done on purpose, did you?
You have written the perfect "Dystopian" society. Good luck in the contest.
teafor2
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Sombul: Your love of science and human nature put on candid display in
this free flowing lack of punctuation mile a minute rickety split down the
page separation of church and science...Almost a rant, with a teeny nit in
line two (double the the), which you may have done on purpose, did you?
You have written the perfect "Dystopian" society. Good luck in the contest.
teafor2
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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That double ?the? was a mistake? eek I get so excited about my work and don?t always proofread and edit properly. I really need to do that. Hehe. Thank you so much for your feedback:))
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you are welcome. teafor2
