2024 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Luminous Night Falls"x
7 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Gypsy,
This Tanka post is well constructed. You chose well with artwork and color scheme.
Of course, I favor your alliteration flourishes!
Mark
P.S. I would use lonely instead of loneliness since you are not so rigid with your syllable counts for Haiku-like poems. IMHO, it is a better word choice.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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Gypsy,
This Tanka post is well constructed. You chose well with artwork and color scheme.
Of course, I favor your alliteration flourishes!
Mark
P.S. I would use lonely instead of loneliness since you are not so rigid with your syllable counts for Haiku-like poems. IMHO, it is a better word choice.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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Thank you very much, Mark. Good word choice.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from kahpot
Wonderful descriptive words and alliteration in this beautiful tanka, I can imagine the swan calling and hoping for a mate on such an evening, very well written and presented****kahpot
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Wonderful descriptive words and alliteration in this beautiful tanka, I can imagine the swan calling and hoping for a mate on such an evening, very well written and presented****kahpot
Comment Written 28-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from GWHARGIS
I've heard that a single swan will refuse to call out. It's as if they only want to share their song with their mate. This was such a mood piece. The setting, night on a lake, one lone swan. Beautifully done. Gretchen
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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I've heard that a single swan will refuse to call out. It's as if they only want to share their song with their mate. This was such a mood piece. The setting, night on a lake, one lone swan. Beautifully done. Gretchen
Comment Written 28-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This poem makes me sad as I wonder what happened to this swan's mate. Your poem is beautiful as they all are. Thank you for sharing not only your poetic gift with us but your designing gift.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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This poem makes me sad as I wonder what happened to this swan's mate. Your poem is beautiful as they all are. Thank you for sharing not only your poetic gift with us but your designing gift.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Aisha Robins
Very evocative poem!
Not being familiar with Tanka poetry, I went to the link to look at examples. One that seemed to best fit the definition of the form was written by Å?gai Mori.
let a poem be
like a crystal bowl
filled with ice
delightfully transparent
leaving no spot invisible
My understanding of the form is too new to compare this poem with the swan poem, but I think one aspect of Tanka is that the middle line works as the third line of the first three AND the first line of the second three. I don't see that in the submitted poem, but again, no two interpretations of a "rule" are the same.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Very evocative poem!
Not being familiar with Tanka poetry, I went to the link to look at examples. One that seemed to best fit the definition of the form was written by Å?gai Mori.
let a poem be
like a crystal bowl
filled with ice
delightfully transparent
leaving no spot invisible
My understanding of the form is too new to compare this poem with the swan poem, but I think one aspect of Tanka is that the middle line works as the third line of the first three AND the first line of the second three. I don't see that in the submitted poem, but again, no two interpretations of a "rule" are the same.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Thank you
Comment from shelley kaye
aww poor single swan...
wonderfully heartfelt tanka with excellent imagery
love the pivot line of a silent moon... smooth flow through the lines
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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aww poor single swan...
wonderfully heartfelt tanka with excellent imagery
love the pivot line of a silent moon... smooth flow through the lines
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much, Shelley 😊
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
The silence of a single swan really means loneliness as swans are mated for life so it probably means the partner has died. Lovely poem and illustration!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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The silence of a single swan really means loneliness as swans are mated for life so it probably means the partner has died. Lovely poem and illustration!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much, big sister 😊
Love
Marival