Reviews from

Love Honor and a Mail Order Bride

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Two Worlds Under one Sky"
Indian girl vies for the heart of a homesteader

8 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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You're a really good storyteller my friend, obviously this Indian girl kidnapped the Indians and traded to another Indian nation, was meant bump into an honourable man in Luke. As you write you make me aware that people are meant to be together at least for a season, well done, Blessings Roy
Typo : as the season(s) came 2: and (head) found. Had?

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
    Thanks Roy!
reply by royowen on 01-Mar-2024
    Welcome
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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It's a great story unfolding as we learn about Aiyana and her ancestry. But if she's only half white on her mother's side, it would be hard to explain the blue eyes which is a recessive gene that only occurs if both parents have blue eyes in their ancestry.
Seems like Luke is falling in love and his mail order bride could complicate his feelings.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks my sister/friend...I will double check that, BB or Bb plays out, I think. Adventure and blessings to come...
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Luke is falling in love and things can only get complicated. I can't wait to see where you take this story. I really like it. You're going an excellent job telling it.

She fingered the cross necklace around her neck and proceeded to sit down on one of his stick chairs with the robe tied around her waist. As Luke sat down, he nearly fell from his chair. "So, you can speak English. Why didn't you from the start?"
(you can omit 'down' it's understood)

Luke attempted to bring his squash and beats back to life with water buckets from the creek. (beets)

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks Barbara. Means much coming from your level of authorship.
Comment from BethShelby
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It sounds like Luke is falling for this half Indian girl and I'm pretty sure she may be doing the same. I'm wondering how this will work out the mail order bride on the way. The half Indign would likely make a better mate sense she alread used to living off the land. Nicely written. I can't wait to see where you are taking this story.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks Beth. Telling me it makes you want to know how it all plays out is as you know, a splendid compliment to any writer.
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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This is a very well written chapter and I enjoyed listening to it very much. I wish you the very best with the writing of your book. May you have a blessed day and may all of your dreams come true. Patricia .

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks so much Pat for following this story and the kind words of encouragement.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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Hi Stan,
I enjoyed this chapter where Luke and Aiyana have a chance to get to know each other. Some of what they shared together you included in the text, and others you put as they talked by the fire and swapped stories.

Gotta wonder what's going to happen with the mail ordered bride?? Looks like Luke should have waited just a bit before making that order.

I love the artwork you've chosen. It gives us a visual of the beautiful Indian girl.

Take care,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks Rhonda. Always appreciate your keen understanding and kindness. Always feel free to tell me anything, good, bad, or ugly. Friends to the end...
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 29-Feb-2024
    Yes, friends to the end!!
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent read. We who write these types of sagas, have a tendency to let modern or out of the day's wording weaken the impact of the sentences. The Crow would never be at peace with the Cheyenne. The Crow, Bird people, never used the term squaw or any tribe the word was coined by the white man. Your story is good filled with awe and easy on the imagination. In my opinion, you are the best writer on the site.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks Bro...
Comment from Barry Penfold
Excellent
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This is working up to a really intriguing story . Like the characters and the conversations had. Romance evolving, but still many uncertainties to overcome. Good work. I must go back and read previous chapters.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks for your interest to go back. Appreciate your kind words.