The Hold Up
It was a long time ago, but I still remember it vividly17 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. That had to be extremely scary. I'm scared just reading it. Good luck with the contest.
The next day, these suspicions slowly disbursed, (The following day)
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. That had to be extremely scary. I'm scared just reading it. Good luck with the contest.
The next day, these suspicions slowly disbursed, (The following day)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Okay, now you've written a true story and managed to transfer the scary moments to the spine of your reader. Well done! I can't imagine having ever been in your situation. Thank you for sharing.
Smiles, Carol
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Okay, now you've written a true story and managed to transfer the scary moments to the spine of your reader. Well done! I can't imagine having ever been in your situation. Thank you for sharing.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This telling of a bank robbery was fraught with different twists and turns as you spent an incredibly long time telling us about your embarrassment at being a newbie at the bank when you should have shortened this story and stuck to the facts surrounding the robbery instead. Too bad you weren't prepared for this robbery and defended the honor of the bank.
Sad but you learned your lesson the hard way.
Jesse
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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This telling of a bank robbery was fraught with different twists and turns as you spent an incredibly long time telling us about your embarrassment at being a newbie at the bank when you should have shortened this story and stuck to the facts surrounding the robbery instead. Too bad you weren't prepared for this robbery and defended the honor of the bank.
Sad but you learned your lesson the hard way.
Jesse
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Hi Jesse, I'm sorry you didn't enjoy my piece. Now that I'm old and experienced, I promise to do better in preparing for my next robbery.
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Keep working on your writing skills too. I was critiquing your post, not your job at the bank.
Jesse
Comment from Mintybee
This is an exciting story. I'm sorry it happened, but I'm glad it became a coming of age thing for you. It's really amazing that you have the picture from the security footage. I think what worked well here was your use of detail - like getting the money out of a grimy corner, and you were so flustered you weren't sure what to fill.
Mintybee
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This is an exciting story. I'm sorry it happened, but I'm glad it became a coming of age thing for you. It's really amazing that you have the picture from the security footage. I think what worked well here was your use of detail - like getting the money out of a grimy corner, and you were so flustered you weren't sure what to fill.
Mintybee
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
Comment from nomi338
Wow! What an experience. Thank God you survived without suffering any physical damage. That has to be a very frightening thing to experience. I cannot imagine anyone new to the job having a more sensible reaction that what you did, so do not beat yourself up.
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Wow! What an experience. Thank God you survived without suffering any physical damage. That has to be a very frightening thing to experience. I cannot imagine anyone new to the job having a more sensible reaction that what you did, so do not beat yourself up.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
Comment from Kelly Hope
Good luck! I love your work! I felt like this storytell was nicely written. I will say it's undoubtedly an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep writing, God bless!
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Good luck! I love your work! I felt like this storytell was nicely written. I will say it's undoubtedly an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep writing, God bless!
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the positive comments, Kelly. It's feedback like yours that make writing so rewarding. Cheers.
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I feel the same way about feedback. Speaking of, could you please review my latest poem?
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Mortman,
You did a great job of writing a story about your own horror story. I liked the way you described your feelings about facing the public and how that was terrifying on its own. Loved how when the bank robber threw the bag at you that you were confused as to what he wanted. Great part about retrieving the dropped money.
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
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Hi Mortman,
You did a great job of writing a story about your own horror story. I liked the way you described your feelings about facing the public and how that was terrifying on its own. Loved how when the bank robber threw the bag at you that you were confused as to what he wanted. Great part about retrieving the dropped money.
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Mortman, 1983 was a long time ago, but the memory of that day is still vivid, and rightfully so. Everyone in the Bank that day was not just lucky, but blessed, especially you. Of note:
--Cash was king.
(Cash is still king. We should not let these bank brainwash us into thinking that cash is no longer needed. Just sharing...I cashed a check for $500, and the teller interrogated me into why I needed cash and that I could just use my atm card. Why? My Answer was ... because it's my money, and I like to give you job security.
--To everyone's great relief, the robber left the building with his cash but without physically hurting anyone. That's not to say we were left unscathed.
(The horror show still continued in everyone's mind, and that they wanted to re-open the bank is just disgusting. Just sharing again ... my children worked in the local video store, and the store was robbed. They were all school-age teenagers. Not one of them of 18 years old. Manager was gone for the day. Management acted liked it was no big deal. Luckily, none of my children were there, but those that were there, all quit. Understandably so. If my memory is correct, they were tied up and put into the back bathroom.)
In 1983, banks were cash rich for all the reason stated in your story ... people got paid in cash, cashed their pay checks, business needed cash, etc. Today, banks are cash poor. If a person needs a significant amount of money, they have to order it. Just sharing again ... A friend of mine ordered cash, and when she was supposed to pick it up, she had the flu. She went into the bank the next week. The money had been returned, and her account was charged a returned-money fee. Fees is what banking is all about in today's world.
So, Mortman, as you can see, I was quite engaged in your story. I'm sorry that you had that horrific experience. Did they ever catch the bank robber? You story is well done, well told. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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Hello Mortman, 1983 was a long time ago, but the memory of that day is still vivid, and rightfully so. Everyone in the Bank that day was not just lucky, but blessed, especially you. Of note:
--Cash was king.
(Cash is still king. We should not let these bank brainwash us into thinking that cash is no longer needed. Just sharing...I cashed a check for $500, and the teller interrogated me into why I needed cash and that I could just use my atm card. Why? My Answer was ... because it's my money, and I like to give you job security.
--To everyone's great relief, the robber left the building with his cash but without physically hurting anyone. That's not to say we were left unscathed.
(The horror show still continued in everyone's mind, and that they wanted to re-open the bank is just disgusting. Just sharing again ... my children worked in the local video store, and the store was robbed. They were all school-age teenagers. Not one of them of 18 years old. Manager was gone for the day. Management acted liked it was no big deal. Luckily, none of my children were there, but those that were there, all quit. Understandably so. If my memory is correct, they were tied up and put into the back bathroom.)
In 1983, banks were cash rich for all the reason stated in your story ... people got paid in cash, cashed their pay checks, business needed cash, etc. Today, banks are cash poor. If a person needs a significant amount of money, they have to order it. Just sharing again ... A friend of mine ordered cash, and when she was supposed to pick it up, she had the flu. She went into the bank the next week. The money had been returned, and her account was charged a returned-money fee. Fees is what banking is all about in today's world.
So, Mortman, as you can see, I was quite engaged in your story. I'm sorry that you had that horrific experience. Did they ever catch the bank robber? You story is well done, well told. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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Hi Margaret, thank you for your very interesting comments and I'm pleased you enjoyed my piece. To answer your last question, yes, he was caught. Back then there were so many robberies going on, the banks were offering large rewards. One of his 'friends' took up the offer and turned him in.
Reopening after a robbery was bank policy back then. I would have loved to have gone home after such an experience, but the theory (according to the banks), was that staff would recover faster from such a traumatic experience if they were thrown back into work straight away. To this day, I still think this was very callous and, of course, I have no idea whether they were right or not. I just remember the fear, watching every single customer with suspicion that afternoon.
I had a few friends in the bank that were involved in worse robberies than mine. They were tied up and put in a back room, just like those poor kids in the video store. Anyway, thanks again for your comments.
Comment from Wendy G
That was indeed a very scary experience, recounted very well. Was the robber caught? The story makes for a unique entry in the True Life contest, and I send you my best wishes for it.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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That was indeed a very scary experience, recounted very well. Was the robber caught? The story makes for a unique entry in the True Life contest, and I send you my best wishes for it.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Wendy. He was caught. His friend got a reward for turning him in.
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Thanks, Wendy. He was caught. His friend got a reward for turning him in.
Comment from BethShelby
This is quite a story. I can imagine this freaking out everyone involved. The picture is amazing. It never occured to me that a bank robber would stand on the counter. I don't see how he get up that high. The is good one for the true contest. You will likely win.
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This is quite a story. I can imagine this freaking out everyone involved. The picture is amazing. It never occured to me that a bank robber would stand on the counter. I don't see how he get up that high. The is good one for the true contest. You will likely win.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2024
