The Darkness
A day in the life of recurrent depression5 total reviews
Comment from Jodi Ann Anderson
This poem is great! It gives powerful images in my head. Because the font was gray, it was hard to see on the purple background (maybe just my old eyes!) I love the colors, but maybe change the font to black.
I love the purple though! I love your message in this poem, and welcome to Fanstory!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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This poem is great! It gives powerful images in my head. Because the font was gray, it was hard to see on the purple background (maybe just my old eyes!) I love the colors, but maybe change the font to black.
I love the purple though! I love your message in this poem, and welcome to Fanstory!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the feedback and suggestion. I didn?t even consider the poor contrast between the font and background.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow. The imagery of being devoured by darkness was pretty intense! This is a well written poem. I like how you can read this on two levels. You can also see this as being overwhelmed by despair. Great job!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Wow. The imagery of being devoured by darkness was pretty intense! This is a well written poem. I like how you can read this on two levels. You can also see this as being overwhelmed by despair. Great job!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you! Grief is a very valid interpretation for this too. Any negative emotion, really.
Comment from Julie Helms
Welcome to fan story! Your poem is very effective in expressing the feelings creeping up. It builds tension as it engulfs. I would highly recommend lightening up the background and making the font bigger. I had to blow it up on my screen to even see it. Thanks so much! Julie.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Welcome to fan story! Your poem is very effective in expressing the feelings creeping up. It builds tension as it engulfs. I would highly recommend lightening up the background and making the font bigger. I had to blow it up on my screen to even see it. Thanks so much! Julie.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the feedback! I did lighten the background, I didn?t realize how tough it was to read.
Comment from Mintybee
As someone who has dealt with depression, I found this description really relatable. I think you used strong imagery. The pacing reflected the subject matter well. It creeps up, then boom. I think this was really well written.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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As someone who has dealt with depression, I found this description really relatable. I think you used strong imagery. The pacing reflected the subject matter well. It creeps up, then boom. I think this was really well written.
Mintybee
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Writing relatable content is so important for me, so I am glad it resonated with you. But am sorry you have experienced depression as well.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congrats on your first milestone! This is a very moving free verse on darkness and depression. There is a haunting nature to your words with those descriptions of creeping, engulfing, devouring. And those final 5 lines are superb, contemplating the losses incurred, what "could have been." I might suggest that your first line reads: Darkness (descends). And perhaps a lighter background with larger font because your post is, in fact, rather inclined to get lost in the dark! (Many members might well find this challenging to read, as I did, as a result). Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Congrats on your first milestone! This is a very moving free verse on darkness and depression. There is a haunting nature to your words with those descriptions of creeping, engulfing, devouring. And those final 5 lines are superb, contemplating the losses incurred, what "could have been." I might suggest that your first line reads: Darkness (descends). And perhaps a lighter background with larger font because your post is, in fact, rather inclined to get lost in the dark! (Many members might well find this challenging to read, as I did, as a result). Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the feedback and suggestions! Several others let me know as well it was tough to read, so I did change the background and font. Appreciate the advice!
