Murder
Based on true story of child that survived but family didn't11 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You are very brave to attempt a contest for your first post. Congratulations!!!! I enjoyed reading this acrostic contest entry. Yes, some evils are so horrible that maybe dying would feel like the right answer. Good luck with the contest.
  |
You are very brave to attempt a contest for your first post. Congratulations!!!! I enjoyed reading this acrostic contest entry. Yes, some evils are so horrible that maybe dying would feel like the right answer. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
Comment from Victoria Jurgens
Very strong writing that evokes much emotion.
The last sentence has me wondering if "at least you didn't die" is meant to be comforting.
To me, it isn't comforting.
Unless that child had counseling combined with a very strong belief that she has a reason to be on earth, it would be a horrible nightmare. She could easily be left wondering why she's still alive.
Thank you for writing this. It has sparked contemplation.
|
Very strong writing that evokes much emotion.
The last sentence has me wondering if "at least you didn't die" is meant to be comforting.
To me, it isn't comforting.
Unless that child had counseling combined with a very strong belief that she has a reason to be on earth, it would be a horrible nightmare. She could easily be left wondering why she's still alive.
Thank you for writing this. It has sparked contemplation.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
Comment from Douglas Goff
The fact that this is based on a real child lends to its potency.
I would be sad to think that someone gave her that advice in your last stanza. Most people in this circumstance have survivor's guilt and wished that they had also passed.
Very sad.
D
|
The fact that this is based on a real child lends to its potency.
I would be sad to think that someone gave her that advice in your last stanza. Most people in this circumstance have survivor's guilt and wished that they had also passed.
Very sad.
D
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
Comment from JanPerry
Awesome talent. Welcome to the writing family where many others will enjoy your work and shower you with praise. It's an outstanding first poem.
Though a very sad account of a real life murder.
 |
Awesome talent. Welcome to the writing family where many others will enjoy your work and shower you with praise. It's an outstanding first poem.
Though a very sad account of a real life murder.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
Comment from judiverse
What a sad story. I don't know how you can ever get past something like that happening. It would stay with you forever. Great use of the acrostic form for this, and best of luck in the contest. Your beginning words for each line are great. Excellent presentation. judi
|
What a sad story. I don't know how you can ever get past something like that happening. It would stay with you forever. Great use of the acrostic form for this, and best of luck in the contest. Your beginning words for each line are great. Excellent presentation. judi
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
Comment from Jodi Ann Anderson
Wow! This is intense! So much feeling is poured inside this poem. How sad this horrid murder had to take place. Hopefully she can grow up surrounded by lots of love.
Six stars from me!
|
Wow! This is intense! So much feeling is poured inside this poem. How sad this horrid murder had to take place. Hopefully she can grow up surrounded by lots of love.
Six stars from me!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Witnessing a murder would be traumatic for anyone, but I can't even begin to imagine the pain, the fear and the psychological damage a young child would suffer seeing her entire family murdered. And unfortunately, her guilt for surviving.
Hugs, Carol
|
Witnessing a murder would be traumatic for anyone, but I can't even begin to imagine the pain, the fear and the psychological damage a young child would suffer seeing her entire family murdered. And unfortunately, her guilt for surviving.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
A good entry for the Acrostic Poetry contest. An excellent first post. Welcome to Fanstory. The explanation you gave under the poem went a long way in helping me to understand it. Such horrific event to live through and then to have to endure the ignorant comments of people. Yo did a nice job with this.
|
A good entry for the Acrostic Poetry contest. An excellent first post. Welcome to Fanstory. The explanation you gave under the poem went a long way in helping me to understand it. Such horrific event to live through and then to have to endure the ignorant comments of people. Yo did a nice job with this.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds like a very sad story in your cleverly formed acrostic here. To have your entire family murdered must be haunting and I am glad this girl survived. I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
This sounds like a very sad story in your cleverly formed acrostic here. To have your entire family murdered must be haunting and I am glad this girl survived. I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a great start to your activity on FanStory. just the sort of poem that leaves the reader wanting more. You could extend this idea by expanding it to a short story, giving more events the same double treatment and grouping them into books. I'm sure they'd go down well. kay
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
This is a great start to your activity on FanStory. just the sort of poem that leaves the reader wanting more. You could extend this idea by expanding it to a short story, giving more events the same double treatment and grouping them into books. I'm sure they'd go down well. kay
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
