Reach Out
a 5-7-5 poetic form36 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is a lovely 5-7-5 for the contest. It's a good reminder that others are going through similar situations as our own, and they understand the burdens we bear. Great picture to accompany your well-chosen words. Best wishes in the contest. Sorry for the lateness of my review. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This is a lovely 5-7-5 for the contest. It's a good reminder that others are going through similar situations as our own, and they understand the burdens we bear. Great picture to accompany your well-chosen words. Best wishes in the contest. Sorry for the lateness of my review. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you very much Carol!!
Melissa
Comment from Sarah Tummey
Hi, Melissa. I love how this poem encourages the reader to turn to someone in their time of need. Hoping they get a listening ear and a positive response when they do.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Hi, Melissa. I love how this poem encourages the reader to turn to someone in their time of need. Hoping they get a listening ear and a positive response when they do.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much for your wonderful review Sarah.
Melissa
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Reach Out, has the proper formatting and does a splendid job of translating this phenomenal photograph into a profound statement of the power of community. Terrific.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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This 5-7-5, Reach Out, has the proper formatting and does a splendid job of translating this phenomenal photograph into a profound statement of the power of community. Terrific.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Bill. I am honored you liked it and that it resonated with you. Hope you and yours are doing fine now :)
Melissa
Comment from Saki the Artist
This is a great poem. I love the rhyme and the message. However, since it's for the 5-7-5 contest, I have to point out that, you've actually written a 6-6-5. Adding line breaks will not fix this. It's because of the rhyme and the sentence structure. You've basically implied a couplet and a freestanding line:
When the weight of your
CARES
seems too heavy to BEAR...
there's strength in numbers
If you tried to force the 5-7-5 structure upon it, you would get a very awkward reading:
When the weight of your
...
cares seems too heavy to bear
...
there's strength in numbers
See how the pause between the first and second lines interrupts the sentence at a weird spot and also turns an end-of-line rhyme into an internal rhyme?
But you did achieve a couple of great things with this poem. Line 2 ends in a kireji, and Line 3 was a proper punchline that went counter to the mood set by the first 2 lines.
If you can somehow get the first two lines to be 5-7 instead of 6-6, you'd have a winner.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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This is a great poem. I love the rhyme and the message. However, since it's for the 5-7-5 contest, I have to point out that, you've actually written a 6-6-5. Adding line breaks will not fix this. It's because of the rhyme and the sentence structure. You've basically implied a couplet and a freestanding line:
When the weight of your
CARES
seems too heavy to BEAR...
there's strength in numbers
If you tried to force the 5-7-5 structure upon it, you would get a very awkward reading:
When the weight of your
...
cares seems too heavy to bear
...
there's strength in numbers
See how the pause between the first and second lines interrupts the sentence at a weird spot and also turns an end-of-line rhyme into an internal rhyme?
But you did achieve a couple of great things with this poem. Line 2 ends in a kireji, and Line 3 was a proper punchline that went counter to the mood set by the first 2 lines.
If you can somehow get the first two lines to be 5-7 instead of 6-6, you'd have a winner.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks for the great and detailed review Saki.
Melissa
Comment from BethShelby
This is a very good 5-7-5 poem. It contains some worthwhile advice. There is strength in numbers and the site has a number for people who are more than willing to support you if tell your problems you will get empathy anre prayers.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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This is a very good 5-7-5 poem. It contains some worthwhile advice. There is strength in numbers and the site has a number for people who are more than willing to support you if tell your problems you will get empathy anre prayers.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Beth. I'm happy it resonated with you. There is truly strength in numbers as we have witnessed so many times here on FS. :)
Melissa
Comment from Begin Again
A good thought you've share and the picture backs it up. It never hurts to lean on someone or except help when the burden seems more than you can handle. That's what love and friends are for.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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A good thought you've share and the picture backs it up. It never hurts to lean on someone or except help when the burden seems more than you can handle. That's what love and friends are for.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Carol. I'm happy it resonated with you. There is truly strength in numbers as we have witnessed so many times here on FS. :)
Melissa
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Definitely...I came back to FS after some dark time. The friendship and encouragement I get from fellow writers has brought me to writing again. I am beyond thankful. Have a great day!
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Oh, what a wonderful story, Carol. You should write about it :)
M
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Melissa,
This poem is so true. It matches the artwork so well. It reminds us that it takes a community. That we find strength in each other.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful day.
Joan
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Hi Melissa,
This poem is so true. It matches the artwork so well. It reminds us that it takes a community. That we find strength in each other.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful day.
Joan
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Joan. I'm happy it resonated with you. There is truly strength in numbers as we have witnessed so many times here on FS. :)
Melissa
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Don't mention it, Melissa.
Joan
Comment from poetwatch
You did it again, Melissa. :) Within a few words a statement of fact rears it head. I don't know where you got your raindrop but the picture is enchanting. This is a good entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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You did it again, Melissa. :) Within a few words a statement of fact rears it head. I don't know where you got your raindrop but the picture is enchanting. This is a good entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Jose. I'm happy it resonated with you. There is truly strength in numbers as we have witnessed so many times here on FS. Hugs, my friend :)
Melissa
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a beautiful 5-7-5 presentation for the contest, Melissa both in your words andthe gorgeous picture. And so true. Sometimes when things get too heavy for us we do need to let others help us through the bad times.
Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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This is a beautiful 5-7-5 presentation for the contest, Melissa both in your words andthe gorgeous picture. And so true. Sometimes when things get too heavy for us we do need to let others help us through the bad times.
Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Valda. I'm happy it resonated with you. There is truly strength in numbers as we have witnessed so many times here on FS. :)
Melissa
Comment from jessizero
This was a great poem in 5-7-5 format. I love the sentiment behind it, and you got the syllable count right, as well. I think the picture was a good choice. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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This was a great poem in 5-7-5 format. I love the sentiment behind it, and you got the syllable count right, as well. I think the picture was a good choice. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
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Thanks so much Jess. I'm happy it resonated with you. There is truly strength in numbers as we have witnessed so many times here on FS. :)
Melissa
