Reviews from

Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Echo's Mission"
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

20 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh dear, Rhonda, I have missed two chapters! I'm so sorry. I'm not doing so well at the moment, and have missed a lot. But I'm here now.
Now, what on earth could Echo's mission have to do with a rabbit? I hope Hannah is alright? Okay, I'm off to read the next one. Great chapter, my friend. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
    Hi Sandra. Thank you so much for reviewing both chapters. That's so sweet. I'm sorry you're not feeling well, and it's so easy to get behind even when you do.
    Stay strong, we're with you.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story is mesmerizing. The flow of words and images is lovely and keeps the reader wanting to read on. I look forward to the next addition to this story.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
    Thank you for your review, my friend. It is valued and encouraging.
    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Faith Williams
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I like the idea of not being imprisoned by time. Such a freeing thought. And the dreams are intriguing, drawing the reader further into the story to seek the answers of what they mean.

Love this sentence: Logic told her to run and hide, curiosity drove her forward.
This one made me laugh: "Still in the chicken."

Suggestions to consider:
'Rest was what she really needed, (and so) she eventually closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.' I think you could delete the 'and' as it's redundant.
'She wandered around the room with them until a man approached (with familiar green eyes).' Maybe move this phrase after 'man'. As it's written, it makes it seem he was carrying the eyes.

Another great chapter, Rhonda. I want to know about those dreams! And I am glad Echo is starting her mission.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 16-Mar-2024
    Hi Faith, thank you so much for the six stars!! And for the lovely comments!!
    Thank you for finding redundant words. I'm trying really hard to watch for those.
    I'll look at the eyes section and revise.
    The dreams, as you can imagine, are foreshadowing and warnings.

    As always, thank your for your time!!
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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As the plot begins to further thicken, it appears that Echo's mission might become a bit clearer to her and the readers of this intriguing story. I await with bated breath for new developments and to see in which direction I will be taken.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 16-Mar-2024
    Hi,
    Thank you for the review and for following along. Echo is about to get knee deep in it.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Mintybee
Excellent
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This is the first chapter of this story I've read. It was interesting. The mix of normal and fantasy was a good balance. The dreams were exciting and intriguing. I liked the main character.
Mintybee

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    Hi Minty!
    Thank you for your review. I'm glad to hear from someone who has just read to see how the chapter stands as a "stand alone". Thank you for leaving your comments,
    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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Nice artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. Sorry I don't have a sixth star, but it deserves it. I like how the plot is divided into parts. First, Echo and Mary have a very good discussion about Echo being in this new realm and trying to adjust to it. Mary seems like a kind and caring person.

Next, as Echo plans to get some good sleep nightmares and strange things enter her dreams. You do a good job with the descriptive detail, like the description of the stranger and his treatment of Echo.

The next section is more pleasant as Echo meets Poseidon and is in a room that is filled with light. He gives her some basic advice, and then she is in Theo's garden. All of this is done with smooth transition. That takes her to breakfast with Mary, and that goes very well as they discuss the nature of men and what they like and what women perceive that they like.

The final scene takes the reader to the beginning of the trip they planned, but Neptune, one of Hannah's babies, gets their attention. He is distraught and keeps trying to indicate what he wants. Mary gives Echo encouragement to follow Neptune since this is the beginning of what her purpose is here. It doesn't sound like it is going to be a good scene, but it will be interesting to see what Echo ends up doing. Well done, my friend.





Secondly, Echo is talking with Mary, and they have breakfast together so that is a good way to begin. Mary seems like a pleasant woman who cares about people.


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    Hi Pam, thank you so much for the virtual six. Thanks, also, for the review. It?s so helpful how you analyze each part. I did something on this chapter that I used to do all the time. I sat up until 1 am writing, revising and posting. I figured I would be hit in the morning with tons of spag reports, but they only found 3. I was thrilled. Who knows if I can pull it off again, lol.

    You nailed all of my main points and I?m so glad the scenes were smooth.
    Thank you for all you do,
    Rhonda
reply by Pam (respa) on 15-Mar-2024
    You are very welcome, Rhonda. I'm always glad to hear my comments were helpful. I'm glad you had no problems with your story. You did a great job.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    Thank you!
reply by Pam (respa) on 15-Mar-2024
    You're welcome.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I loved this very interesting episode Rhonda, there are signs and dreams, as a lot of Christians have. There are so many kindly people in the place where I worship, it's an amazing place at the moment, like your previous story, I'm glad you've settled to Echo, she was always the main character. Well done Rhonda, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    Hi Roy,
    Thanks for your review. It?s much appreciated, as are your comments on the story. Echo does have a journey ahead, for sure. The other characters will have their challenges as well.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by royowen on 15-Mar-2024
    Good job
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, Rhonda, I feel so terribly guilty. I do not have any six left. This has to be a virtual one. I have squandered them all.
It's such a magnificent chapter and I admire you for your wonderful imagination. He dreams were so vivid to me, and I wonder what they all mean. And now the rabbit, who won't take a no for an answer. What is going on. Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    I?ll take the virtual six. Mine disappear way too quickly as well. Thank you for your comments on the chapter. Things are going to pick up their pace rapidly, and thanks for your comments on imagination, as that?s certainly the heart and soul of our work on this site, which you should know with your own brilliant mind.
    Take care,
    Hugs,
    Rhonda 🤗
reply by Ulla on 15-Mar-2024
    A big smile!!!
Comment from Daylily
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What an especially exciting chapter with dream sequences and bunny guides. I am eager to learn the horse name for Echo. The heroic characters of your story are terrifically displayed; the menacing ones also fulfill their roles very well, but it is not easy to warm up to them. That is the way it is with evil. -- Lily

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    Hi Lily,
    Thank you for your rich comments. You certainly look beneath the surface! I appreciate your comments on the character development, that?s so important when planning my next move.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Rhonda.
Another intriguing chapter in the book with Echo finally beginning her own journey. It's good that the valley is a timeless place, for it is an otherworldly realm. The dream is an echo of the future.
The stranger in the dream appears to be a malevolent god, and Hades seems to fit that description very well, but there are many such gods, like Ares. We'll have to wait on that one.
It seems Echo is Alice following a rabbit into another dimension. Maybe Hera is the Queen of Hearts. :)
A fun story.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024
    Hi Robert,
    Thank you for adding your unique talent to the review, and for the 6 golden stars!
    Queen of Hearts, that?s an idea I hadn?t thought off. Now I need a Cheshire cat. Guess Sunny will have to play that part!
    Definitely a malevolent god visiting her dreams, lol, one tired of living underground.

    Thanks again, my friend,
    Rhonda