Cries of life.
Enter and exit.24 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting poem with a fine serving of the hard parts of life. Life wasn't so joyful for you as for me, perhaps from your early introduction to war. But it still is a long haul followed, for many, with generations of their bloodline. We have four great grands from 10 years to 3 months. I pray for them.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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This is an interesting poem with a fine serving of the hard parts of life. Life wasn't so joyful for you as for me, perhaps from your early introduction to war. But it still is a long haul followed, for many, with generations of their bloodline. We have four great grands from 10 years to 3 months. I pray for them.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Carol, for the six. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
I will pray for your grandchildren.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Congrats on becoming grandparents, Yard! I don't think I'll be seeing that milestone. Your verse is a striking one. As you so rightly say, it's a long haul from that baby stage to where we are now. I love the echo of those two final lines and the poignancy of your introspective and excellent verse. Thanks for sharing, Debbie
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Congrats on becoming grandparents, Yard! I don't think I'll be seeing that milestone. Your verse is a striking one. As you so rightly say, it's a long haul from that baby stage to where we are now. I love the echo of those two final lines and the poignancy of your introspective and excellent verse. Thanks for sharing, Debbie
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Debbie, for the congrats. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
Comment from nomi338
Life is a long running struggle to survive. Despite how it may appear, the game is not rigged. It is just that the rules are somewhat liquid and are subject to change without warning. To survive you must not only be agile, quick on your feet and able to adjust on the fly. I wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Life is a long running struggle to survive. Despite how it may appear, the game is not rigged. It is just that the rules are somewhat liquid and are subject to change without warning. To survive you must not only be agile, quick on your feet and able to adjust on the fly. I wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Nomi. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is beautiful, Yardier! Isn't it unfortunate that in our world, we have to worry not only about our children but also about our grandchildren and beyond? So many things have changed with age, but the only thing we can hang onto is family. They do have a long haul ahead!
Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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This is beautiful, Yardier! Isn't it unfortunate that in our world, we have to worry not only about our children but also about our grandchildren and beyond? So many things have changed with age, but the only thing we can hang onto is family. They do have a long haul ahead!
Best, JohnC
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you John. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
All the best back at cha!
Comment from jmdg1954
I'm at and am enjoying the grandfather stage of life to my five grandchildren. I have another, at least twelve more years when our oldest will be 24 to even think of being a great grandfather.
Congrats on your milestone and enjoy it every day!
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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I'm at and am enjoying the grandfather stage of life to my five grandchildren. I have another, at least twelve more years when our oldest will be 24 to even think of being a great grandfather.
Congrats on your milestone and enjoy it every day!
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you jmdg. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
All the best, Yard.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
A very honest poem wrought with a sad truth. Life is not for the weak, especially these days. I am thankful everyday that I grew up in the world when I did. I weep for future generations. Thanks for this well-written piece.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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A very honest poem wrought with a sad truth. Life is not for the weak, especially these days. I am thankful everyday that I grew up in the world when I did. I weep for future generations. Thanks for this well-written piece.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you Marilyn. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
All the best, Yard.
Comment from teafor2
Yardier, this one has skepticism limned all over it...However, the picture
and notes, ironically are inexplicably in opposition to post's internal rhymes and alliterations:
Rhymes: lagoon/moon; away/say/day; same/pain; face/race.
Alliterations: C's, can change; F's, from a fickle; face forced from; strongest swimmers; T's, to the.
A list of gloom and doom adorn this pessimistic write. Sorry if I have misstated your intentions/or wrongly interpreted the coupling of the picture and verbiage. teafor2
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Yardier, this one has skepticism limned all over it...However, the picture
and notes, ironically are inexplicably in opposition to post's internal rhymes and alliterations:
Rhymes: lagoon/moon; away/say/day; same/pain; face/race.
Alliterations: C's, can change; F's, from a fickle; face forced from; strongest swimmers; T's, to the.
A list of gloom and doom adorn this pessimistic write. Sorry if I have misstated your intentions/or wrongly interpreted the coupling of the picture and verbiage. teafor2
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you, tea. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
All the best, Yard.
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You are welcome. teafor2
Comment from Ric Myworld
Congratulations, grand pa, and great grand pa. Having children changes us in so many ways, but sometimes I think our children's children change us even more. Thanks for sharing another fine poem of life.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Congratulations, grand pa, and great grand pa. Having children changes us in so many ways, but sometimes I think our children's children change us even more. Thanks for sharing another fine poem of life.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thanks, Ric. When I see my grandchildren, I enjoy saying to them,
"It's my lucky day!"
Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
All the best, Yard.
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Yes, dummy me figured it was meant as a poem, but as a song the added dimensions take it to a whole different level. Thanks for the clarification and the song.
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Oh man, yu to hard on yo self. Be proud of yo dummyness. Yo x wife will finally agree wit yu.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Help more than you hurt. Bring more joy than pain. Listen more than talk. Volunteer more than take.
Speak more softly than yell loud. Ask more, tell less.
You brought all this to the surface. good writing. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Help more than you hurt. Bring more joy than pain. Listen more than talk. Volunteer more than take.
Speak more softly than yell loud. Ask more, tell less.
You brought all this to the surface. good writing. Karen :-)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Karen. Yes, life is hard and it's getting harder. I can't imagine how our grandchildren will be able to cope, survive and prosper with out faith. Prayer works miracles but, the timing is God's.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, it is not a poem, it is a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
Give it another read, or better yet, listen to the song. The MP3 player is located on the upper left hand of the baby's photo.
All the best, Yard.
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Thank you for the reminder. Have a good week. Karen
Comment from SimianSavant
Great text exploring the dark side of new life and the fate of the human race. The text rhymes in some places and not others, which is fine cause I can tell you weren't going for perfect rhymes, and there is a context..
I was finally able to listen to the music after digging through the page source to find the actual link for it. But I might be the only person who had this problem. Now I understand that you intended this as a song, not just as a written piece. You have a bit of a Johnny Cash sound going on there, and I hope you get a chance to explore and develop that sound to reach its potential. If you ever want to talk songwriting, hit me up.
Best regards,
Harambe (for President)
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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Great text exploring the dark side of new life and the fate of the human race. The text rhymes in some places and not others, which is fine cause I can tell you weren't going for perfect rhymes, and there is a context..
I was finally able to listen to the music after digging through the page source to find the actual link for it. But I might be the only person who had this problem. Now I understand that you intended this as a song, not just as a written piece. You have a bit of a Johnny Cash sound going on there, and I hope you get a chance to explore and develop that sound to reach its potential. If you ever want to talk songwriting, hit me up.
Best regards,
Harambe (for President)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2024
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If I would have known you were running for President, I would have entered you as a write-in candidate.
Many reviewers thought 'Cries of life' is a poem and graded it as such. However, as you figured it out, it is not a poem, a song. Some of lyrics rhyme and some don't. All of the stanzas create a metaphor pointing to the fall of Eden and the path of humankind.
'Sadness hangs over a dark lagoon.' The dark lagoon is fallen Eden.
'And the river shines from a fickle moon.' The river is God given life but the light comes not from Him but from a fickle source. It is not glorifying but can appear so.
One of Cash's over looked songs, 'Rusty Cage' contains some mighty hot lyrics. "When the forest burns along the road like God's eyes in my headlights, when the dogs are looking for their bones
and it's raining steel ice picks on your steel shore. I'm gonna break my rusty cage and run." It doesn't hurt that there is some high level raunch going on with the guitar.
Yes, indeed, I would appreciate a dialogue with regard to song writing. I'm not sure how to go about it here on FS, perhaps email?
Thanks again for the insight and complement. All the best, Yard.
