The Day of the Dead
Horror Poem in 5-5-8 Meter9 total reviews
Comment from Mark Jackson
I am going to give this five. That is because I really liked it. It works really well as a poem, I love the dark imagery and particularly the red blood and then red blooded.
I do have a suggestion for you. I would remove the bracketed instructions at the top. When I read poetry I very rarely read it just once. I get to the end and then think about it and may even do some googling. You kindly offer notes at the bottom which I enjoyed reading. But I read them after I read the poem once, then went back and read the poem again. Instructing your reader how to read could be taken the wrong way, I did not know all the facts you included but I bet some people will. Thanks for sharing a great poem.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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I am going to give this five. That is because I really liked it. It works really well as a poem, I love the dark imagery and particularly the red blood and then red blooded.
I do have a suggestion for you. I would remove the bracketed instructions at the top. When I read poetry I very rarely read it just once. I get to the end and then think about it and may even do some googling. You kindly offer notes at the bottom which I enjoyed reading. But I read them after I read the poem once, then went back and read the poem again. Instructing your reader how to read could be taken the wrong way, I did not know all the facts you included but I bet some people will. Thanks for sharing a great poem.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Thank you Mark. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tom,
I enjoyed your dark poem in 5-5-8 meter and aabccb rhyme.
It reminded me of some old seafaring tales.
Excellent imagery with the banshees and crows, salamanders and rattling bones.
I can see how your old photograph would inspire this write.
Dean would have loved it too.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hello Tom,
I enjoyed your dark poem in 5-5-8 meter and aabccb rhyme.
It reminded me of some old seafaring tales.
Excellent imagery with the banshees and crows, salamanders and rattling bones.
I can see how your old photograph would inspire this write.
Dean would have loved it too.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 23-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Thank you Robert, I really appreciate your comments. I was thinking of Dean when I wrote. Nobody can do it like he did. He was the master of the macabre. What happened to him?
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I believe it was four or five years ago when Dean passed away. He had heart problems for many years. His work is still available under the Eternal Flame in Community/Find a Member.
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Thank you Robert. Sorry to hear that.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This certainly is a horror write and I enjoyed the melody and the well chosen words as this Halloween-style write jogged along in the graveyard, much enjoyed, a skilful post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024
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This certainly is a horror write and I enjoyed the melody and the well chosen words as this Halloween-style write jogged along in the graveyard, much enjoyed, a skilful post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 23-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Dolly. Although not close to Halloween, so put in June, I came across the picture going through my files. Found this one I took back in 2012. The crows on the tombstones just set off my muse.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Exceptionally creepy. I like it. I thought it was going to be just a sad death piece. This is more like "night of the living dead". More to my tastes for sure. Good work here. Karen
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Exceptionally creepy. I like it. I thought it was going to be just a sad death piece. This is more like "night of the living dead". More to my tastes for sure. Good work here. Karen
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thank you Karen. So pleased you enjoyed it.
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U R Welcome Karen
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:-)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem creates a haunting atmosphere from the very beginning, with the cold wind and the crows singing to the dead setting an eerie tone. The repetition of "evil day" reinforces the sense of dread. That really got me interested! Your poem was wonderful to read. It's going to linger in my mind! haha
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Your poem creates a haunting atmosphere from the very beginning, with the cold wind and the crows singing to the dead setting an eerie tone. The repetition of "evil day" reinforces the sense of dread. That really got me interested! Your poem was wonderful to read. It's going to linger in my mind! haha
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thank you Michael. I am encouraged by your comments and please you enjoyed it. Don?t let it linger long into the night.
Comment from jim vecchio
Very atmospheric! In the movie "Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers", St. Elmo's Fire was depicted as a sort of monitoring device by space aliens. I enjoyed this poetic retelling of the legend. I am anxious to read more of your words.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Very atmospheric! In the movie "Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers", St. Elmo's Fire was depicted as a sort of monitoring device by space aliens. I enjoyed this poetic retelling of the legend. I am anxious to read more of your words.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thank you Jim. Glad you sow another perspective, and enjoyed my work. I?ll try to provide more.
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I'll look forward to your writing!
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Where are my 6 stars when I need them! This poem was atmospheric, creepy and just plain fun to read. I loved the symbolism and the descriptions. The storyline kept me hooked and the flow of the poem was a delight to read. You must enter this in a contest at a later date. You will have my vote. Great job.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Where are my 6 stars when I need them! This poem was atmospheric, creepy and just plain fun to read. I loved the symbolism and the descriptions. The storyline kept me hooked and the flow of the poem was a delight to read. You must enter this in a contest at a later date. You will have my vote. Great job.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thank you, MARILYN. i really appreciate your enthusiasm.
Comment from Pym Rosemary
The language is concise yet draws a vivid picture. My favorite verse begins with "Vicious hunger reigns"; although the poem references historical motifs, I also get an apocalyptic atmosphere. Well done!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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The language is concise yet draws a vivid picture. My favorite verse begins with "Vicious hunger reigns"; although the poem references historical motifs, I also get an apocalyptic atmosphere. Well done!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thank You PYM
Comment from patcelaw
Your poem is very thoughtful, provoking as well as your notes. I enjoyed listening to it, and I have some understanding now of what Saint Elmo's far means.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Patricia .
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Your poem is very thoughtful, provoking as well as your notes. I enjoyed listening to it, and I have some understanding now of what Saint Elmo's far means.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Patricia .
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2024
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Thank you Patricia.
