Reviews from

The Thing about Salt

A little help to preserve my form.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
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Hey, it's a science lune! I know, poets have deeper meaning under the layers.
Something you might want to take into consideration is that the reason this is called a lune poem is because it is supposed to be the shape of the crescent moon. So ideally, it should be either right aligned or left aligned to form that shape. Center alignment loses the lune/moon connection.

Best of luck.
Julie

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for your incite and taking the time to read the poem. Again, thank you.
Comment from Bobby Jo
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oceans never stand still, lakes become frozen, oceans never freeze completly. Our hearts become frozen yet we never die. This was good with many thoughts.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Yes, from writing this poem I discovered that icebergs actually form on land, break away and float out to the oceans. Thank you for your thoughts and taking the time to read my poem.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I'm sure salt has something to do with it, but I have a feeling a moving current also influences oceans not to freeze. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
    Thank you for taking time to review my poem and kind for your kind advice.
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
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A great picture for your cool poem.
The poem says so much with so few words.
An easy read that flows good.
Good luck in the contest!
Thank you for sharing it.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
    Thank you for your kind words. I will keep trying to improve.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I guess parts of the ocean have icebergs floating on, or in it, but I do know that salt water freezes, but at 28.4, compared to fresh at 32 deg. But I guess it keeps moving well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    I am always humbled by your guidance. Thank you for taking the time to read it and for your patronage.
reply by royowen on 25-Mar-2024
    Bless you
Comment from RJ Heritage
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very well written Lune poem. Well, though I have seen oceans freeze, they do tolerate it longer than lakes. But this is also open to poetic interpretation, which as you know, us poets have. Your colors are perfect and the salt and glass of water are representative of oceans and lakes. Nice touch.
Good luck in the contest.
RJ

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    I am overwhelmed by your response. I am still trying to improve to even be considered good at this. I so appreciate such comments from someone accomplished as yourself. Thank you again ...thank you.
reply by RJ Heritage on 25-Mar-2024
    You're very welcome.
    RJ

Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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This interesting poem about salt was thought-provoking. I'm not too familiar with lune poetry, but I did enjoy the poem. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    Thank you so much for the kind word. To receive such words from someone who is as accomplished as you are, is a true honor. Thank you again.
Comment from Brenda Strauser
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What an interesting poem. Never thought about it that way. I have been told by my family that I use too kuch salt. Good luck with the contest. Very good job.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    Thank you so much for reading and the review. Good luck to you as well. I truly enjoyed reading your artistry. Again, thank you.
Comment from tempeste
Excellent
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Ciao,

Your poem piqued my curiosity... it got me thinking about sea ice which I already knew forms each year and allows polar bears to reach their main food source: seals. In Summer when the sea ice has melted, Polar Bears eat very little.

Due to climate change sea ice is melting earlier and forming later and this is a big problem for the polar bears.

Anyway, this is what I found on how sea ice forms (something I didn't know).

The sea near the North Pole IS SALTY but in Winter when the sea begins to freeze/ice up the salt is trapped in droplets called brine which slowly make their way downward and back into the ocean.

I enjoyed your poem because it spurred me to do some research.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    Yes, and a little secret from a submariner. Did you know that underneath those ice bergs are sea trails most commonly used by the Russian navy submarines in the 90's - 2000's. The U.S. also use to map these but only the most experience navigation teams are allowed those missions. Thank you.
reply by tempeste on 24-Mar-2024
    Now that the ice caps are melting lots of countries are planning to exploit the resources there in the future.

    No I didn?t know that submarines were mapping the ocean bed below the ice.

    I ?m claustrophobic so the thought to be ?trapped ?in a submarine frightens me to death.

    Can I ask you what you liked about being a submariner?

    You can ?t even observe the sea creatures .



Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Oh! A thought-provoking Lune! The swirling and movement of the ocean keeps that salt from paralyzing it. (A good metaphor for we humans to stay active, lest we become the considerably more "still" lake and freeze without growth!
Karenina

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024
    Thank you so much for encouraging me to further my education of this art. I learn more by observing your work and heeding your advice given through kindness. Thank you.
reply by karenina on 24-Mar-2024
    We grow and nurture each other through kindness and respect!

    I'm so glad you are on FanStory!