Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I am so sorry for your loss here and to lose a loved one to violence is very tragic and heart-breaking. There is too much violence in this world, a poignant post, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024

Thank you, much appreciated.

Comment from Mark Jackson

Excellent

I do think this is a strong piece of writing but I am not sure it is quite right for a Lune poem. I say this because you do not have enough space to tell your story limited in syllables as you are. I am sorry to say this but to me it is just a little confusing because it is about domestic violence which in my mind happens in the home. I know not exclusively. The you say she never came home. I have given you 5 stars because I like it I just wouldn't have know it was about domestic violence if you had not told me. Good Luck.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024

Thanks Mark, that's very helpful. I've never written poetry before until the last 3 weeks so I'm learning. Feedback much appreciated!

reply by Mark Jackson on 08-Apr-2024

Not everything will work out but keep the ideas and use them again and you will get that perfect poem. It is not easy. Good Luck with it.