Do You Understand Your Rights?
a story10 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
I think this was a great entry for the "you're under arrest" contest. The end of the story was funny, though it was dark humor. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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I think this was a great entry for the "you're under arrest" contest. The end of the story was funny, though it was dark humor. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Thank you, Jessizero
Comment from Jill D
Mudflap Miller.. try saying that with a few drinks on board Lol! This was enjoyable.. Loco by name and Loco by nature.. he really lost it in the end.
All the best Bill.
Jill:)
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Mudflap Miller.. try saying that with a few drinks on board Lol! This was enjoyable.. Loco by name and Loco by nature.. he really lost it in the end.
All the best Bill.
Jill:)
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Thank you, Jill
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I enjoyed your 'under arrest' story. Particularly inventive names for these characters and an amusing undertone to the story. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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I enjoyed your 'under arrest' story. Particularly inventive names for these characters and an amusing undertone to the story. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Thank you, Valda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Very nicely done! I enjoyed the heavy-handed interrogation with the infuriating Chimp Doopy. Then the way it was turned on its head with the allegations of misconduct against Loco. I didn't see the twist coming at the end of course. All clearly expressed in credible dialogue moving the story forward at pace. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Very nicely done! I enjoyed the heavy-handed interrogation with the infuriating Chimp Doopy. Then the way it was turned on its head with the allegations of misconduct against Loco. I didn't see the twist coming at the end of course. All clearly expressed in credible dialogue moving the story forward at pace. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Thank you, Debbie
Comment from Teri7
This is a very clever contest entry you have penned for the You're Under Arrest contest. You used very good descriptive words and then later it comes back to haunt them. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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This is a very clever contest entry you have penned for the You're Under Arrest contest. You used very good descriptive words and then later it comes back to haunt them. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Thank you, Teri
Comment from Sallyo
This story kept my interest up because the suspect appeared to know the law better than the police did. There's one spelling error (see next line)
Whose Mudflap Miller?"
Who's
...and the tense keeps changing. I suggest you put the story into correct past tense.
Loco grabs Chimp's chair and twists it around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?!"
Tense changed.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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This story kept my interest up because the suspect appeared to know the law better than the police did. There's one spelling error (see next line)
Whose Mudflap Miller?"
Who's
...and the tense keeps changing. I suggest you put the story into correct past tense.
Loco grabs Chimp's chair and twists it around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?!"
Tense changed.
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Brought the tense in line and fixed whatever else was wrong.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a fast paced detective story that uses realistic dialogue and succinct language to move the suspenseful tale forward to an unexpected ending. Your story is compelling and creative. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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This is a fast paced detective story that uses realistic dialogue and succinct language to move the suspenseful tale forward to an unexpected ending. Your story is compelling and creative. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Thank you, LJ
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought you started this off so strongly. There is immediate tension which drew me into the interrogation. Armstrong and Loco's aggressive tactics contrast sharply with Chimpathion Dupuis's calm demeanor. I thought the dialogue was excellent. The unexpected arrival of Dupuis's lawyer adds a twist that worked so well. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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I thought you started this off so strongly. There is immediate tension which drew me into the interrogation. Armstrong and Loco's aggressive tactics contrast sharply with Chimpathion Dupuis's calm demeanor. I thought the dialogue was excellent. The unexpected arrival of Dupuis's lawyer adds a twist that worked so well. Nicely done!
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Thank you, Michael
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I love the arrest story. Too funny. Sounded like it could just have happened that way, lol. Thanks for the story and the fun. Atypical of some fun posts, this was very complex with multiple layers.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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I love the arrest story. Too funny. Sounded like it could just have happened that way, lol. Thanks for the story and the fun. Atypical of some fun posts, this was very complex with multiple layers.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 28-May-2024
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Thank you, Rhonda
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Thank you, Rhonda
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
This is good overall. It grabs you attention and holds onto it from the beginning till the end. Very well thought out and put together. Involved and unique.
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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This is good overall. It grabs you attention and holds onto it from the beginning till the end. Very well thought out and put together. Involved and unique.
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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Thank you, Nicole