Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

After the prologue, this seems an ati-climax. I am busier than a one armed paperhanger at a wallpaper convention. I do not have time to review each one in order to catch up. Good theme. Good work. Karen

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

The reader will lean forward for this: "I suppose it is every child's worst nightmare that something bad has happened to his parents." Now we wait to find out for ourselves. You definitely are drawing the reader in. Good work. This is a poignant story. Space i'm thinking kindly of you for your loss.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Liz. I know this was always on my mind when I was a kid and my parents went out. It nearly came to pass once when they were in a serious auto accident but fortunately weren't killed--just banged up some.

reply by Liz O'Neill on 10-Jun-2024

Thinking of you kindly at this point.

Comment from Begin Again

Exceptional

You started this story out with a strong tug at the heart. Two young people who should be experiencing life and its freedoms without worry have been slammed with a bolt of reality that will change their lives forever. Each one of them will find life different. Brian, the younger and spoiled, Francine the older one who will carry the load until Brian catches on. Very moving!
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024

Thank you very much, Carol. The dynamic between these two will be important through the course of the story. I honored by and really appreciate those 6 stars!

reply by Begin Again on 09-Jun-2024

I enjoyed the chapter and wish you well as you go forward. Have a great day!

Comment from Carol Clark2

Excellent

I'm glad I caught your first chapter of a new book. You've introduced the characters well, and set the stage for the two to be raising themselves. Francine seems very responsible. There are hints that Brian might have difficulty caring for himself and the cat, since he's been spoiled by his parents. Great beginning! Carol

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Carol. You're right. There's a big difference between these two not just attributable to their age difference. This dynamic will develop during the course of the story.

Comment from Sharon Elwell

Exceptional

This is well done - answering each question in the reader's mind as soon as it comes up. I'd really like to see the rest of the story. They feel secure in their new situation, and capable of coping with whatever comes up, but I'm sure there will be unexpected difficulties, and new skills will have to be developed.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 09-Jun-2024

Spot on with your analysis, Sharon. Thank you so much for your review and the 6 stars.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Starting on a journey in life with loss leaves a seed of grief and it can be harmful and damning. A fine first chapter Jim and congratulations on your 300th post, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024

Thanks so much, Dolly. Seems kind of paltry next to your 5,000+.

Yes, this is a poor start, but it helps lay a little of the groundwork for why he is the way he is in the Prologue.

Comment from Wendy G

Exceptional

Wow, what a beginning! Very impressive. This was compelling reading right from the first paragraph. Very well written, Jim. I'll be following their story with great interest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024

Thank you very much, Wendy. I really appreciate those 6 stars. This may be a bit darker tale than my others but, hopefully, will remain interesting. I'm delighted you'll be reading it.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Oh dear - you started the book with a tear-jerking scene with the horrific loss for the narrator and his sister. I like how you described their relationship. I'm beginning to sense a pattern. In your last book, Ginnie's first husband died driving drunk, right?
Congratulations on your 300th post!

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024

Thanks so much for your congrats, Helen.

When I was 8 or 9, my parents were in a car crash while out to dinner with another couple. The husband was driving. I don't know whether or not the other driver who hit them was drunk, but he came speeding around a hill and struck the car my folks were in after just pulling out of the restaurant parking lot. It flipped their car (which was a convertible) upside down, and it landed on top of another car parked along the side of the road. Fortunately, no one was killed, but everyone was pretty banged up. I can remember that I used to worry when my parents would go out. This could have ended in a real tragedy--leaving 3 young boys orphaned--but luck was with them that night.

reply by lyenochka on 07-Jun-2024

Thanks for sharing that shocking memory. No wonder that remains in the background and slips in your books. Those accidents really change lives.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Congrats on post number 300 Jim with your chapter 1 of this new story. It would certainly be an emotional challenge to suddenly be orphans, having to look out for yourselves. You've got plenty of emotions to call on in their story, Jim and this is a good start.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, valda. This is similar to something that happened to my parents in my youth, but which, fortunately, didn't end in the same tragedy. They were out with another couple and were similarly in a serious auto accident caused by another driver who hit them. It was a miracle no one was killed.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Jim,
this looks like it's going to be another good story. There are a lot of possibilities for a number of directions this could go. I'm looking forward to reading future chapters. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2024

Thanks, Tom. As far as directions it could go, I haven't worked that out yet. I've thought about most of Part 1 which is the buildup to what happened in the Prologue, but where it goes from there in Part 2 I haven't decided yet. I'm hoping my characters will give me a clue.