Dance Hall Girl
Scenes from a Dance hall34 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Pam, a very interesting poem story. I guess the guy should have gone home. I wonder how often things like this happen. Nice presentation, I like the picture.
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Pam, a very interesting poem story. I guess the guy should have gone home. I wonder how often things like this happen. Nice presentation, I like the picture.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Reminds me of some of the old westerns, when men were wild at the saloons and tried to say it all was okay, just doing it for fun. Wait a minute! Sounds a lot like today too! It's not worth it if the fun is going to hurt someone...Great ending!
Smiles, Carol
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Reminds me of some of the old westerns, when men were wild at the saloons and tried to say it all was okay, just doing it for fun. Wait a minute! Sounds a lot like today too! It's not worth it if the fun is going to hurt someone...Great ending!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Dance Hall Girl, presented with six ABAB-rhymed quatrains, seems to be all about the woman until it's suddenly about the poor bastard whose wife was a tad jealous.
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This poem, Dance Hall Girl, presented with six ABAB-rhymed quatrains, seems to be all about the woman until it's suddenly about the poor bastard whose wife was a tad jealous.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
The poetic theme is well set, very believable an quite detailed.
The image works well with imagery of the words and the overall presentation is well done.
It's sad but true that this scenario is still alive today.
Sorry I don't have a six.
Blessings
Shirley
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The poetic theme is well set, very believable an quite detailed.
The image works well with imagery of the words and the overall presentation is well done.
It's sad but true that this scenario is still alive today.
Sorry I don't have a six.
Blessings
Shirley
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is quite a chilling verse with, indeed, a shock ending. You achieve this well by focusing strongly on the dancer, her lipstick, gyrating hips etc and the general ambiance of the place before zooming in on one particular man of many who's enjoying his very last sleezy piece of fun. Well done, Pam, on this excellent verse! Debbie
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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This is quite a chilling verse with, indeed, a shock ending. You achieve this well by focusing strongly on the dancer, her lipstick, gyrating hips etc and the general ambiance of the place before zooming in on one particular man of many who's enjoying his very last sleezy piece of fun. Well done, Pam, on this excellent verse! Debbie
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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I was not expecting to see ?one last sleezy piece of fun? from you. Made me laugh. Thank you for your wonderful comments and nice review
Comment from nomi338
A man who loves his wife, loves her at all times. His enjoyment of an attractive enchantress is not as convincing as teh loving acts of devotion that a wife can trust and rely on. This means that no matter how enthusiastic his enjoyment, his wife does not get angry or lose her head over his foolish displays.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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A man who loves his wife, loves her at all times. His enjoyment of an attractive enchantress is not as convincing as teh loving acts of devotion that a wife can trust and rely on. This means that no matter how enthusiastic his enjoyment, his wife does not get angry or lose her head over his foolish displays.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Hi Nomi. Maybe she would have killed him eventually anyway. Sounds like a psycho. Thank you for the nice review
Comment from Dr. Nad
Wow, this is quite a story and quite a poem. I read your authors notes and I like your moral. Lead a Godly life. Thank you for creating a fantasy that has been lived out far too many times in reality. Many a man has just wanted to cross the line and "Have a little fun". If it's not his wife that catches him, it is the father in heaven who knows everything.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Wow, this is quite a story and quite a poem. I read your authors notes and I like your moral. Lead a Godly life. Thank you for creating a fantasy that has been lived out far too many times in reality. Many a man has just wanted to cross the line and "Have a little fun". If it's not his wife that catches him, it is the father in heaven who knows everything.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Hi Dr. Nad. Thank you for your candid comments and nice review
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You are most welcome Pam.
Comment from Nicki.B
What a very interesting story put to words in poetry form. Very enjoyable read, I didn't know where it was going at first but once it emerged you went to her feelings of not wanting to be there, but I suppose it was her way to make a living and that guy took a bullet for a drunken mistake. Well done thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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What a very interesting story put to words in poetry form. Very enjoyable read, I didn't know where it was going at first but once it emerged you went to her feelings of not wanting to be there, but I suppose it was her way to make a living and that guy took a bullet for a drunken mistake. Well done thanks for sharing
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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thank you, Nicki for your nice comments and review
Comment from Thesis
This poem is robust. It portrays emotions and actions from many characters, all from their own POV. Those who are not drunk are repulsed by the men's actions, the wife is infuriated by the husband's infidelity, the dancer by their smell and comments, and in the end, no one wins.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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This poem is robust. It portrays emotions and actions from many characters, all from their own POV. Those who are not drunk are repulsed by the men's actions, the wife is infuriated by the husband's infidelity, the dancer by their smell and comments, and in the end, no one wins.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Hi, Thesis. You got me dizzy there with the shortened synopsis. Thank you for that and for a nice review
Comment from jessizero
This was a great surprise/shock ending. I'm not saying he deserved it, but I do think he put himself in that situation. I like that you told this story in rhyme. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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This was a great surprise/shock ending. I'm not saying he deserved it, but I do think he put himself in that situation. I like that you told this story in rhyme. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Hi Jessi. Thank you for your wonderful comments and nice review
