Reviews from

The Coyote Boys

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Serpent's Hiss"
Story about two brothers who change their destiny.

18 total reviews 
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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People like Huck's dad has no business to be alibe .They are a curse on earth .Such a cruel thing to do ..to destroy Dewey's treat.. Ihope soon they have some respite fromthis....

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
    Thank you so much. I could not agree more with you. Thanks again. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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The father is almost over the top horrid. The reader has to hate him after he ruins Dewey's treat and for what he says to Huck about Miss Lynn. He seems to have no redeeming quality.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 01-Jul-2024
    He does not. Maw-maw was right, he was born under a bad moon. Lol. Thank you for that. Gretchen
Comment from T B Botts
Excellent
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Hello Gretchen,
poor Huck, suffering the ups and downs in his life that are so extreme. His dad is a world class jack-ass, mean spirited and going out of his way to be that way it appears. What he fails to realize, as so many do, is that these boys won't always be small and able to be pushed around. I just hope they aren't permanently tainted with the hatred they've had to endure. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
    Hes a first class jack ass that's for sure. I think Huck is starting to realize he isn't a little boy anymore, either. Gretchen
Comment from Steve Foreman
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another great chapter, well written and emotional, very authentic with the dialogue. Looking forward to the next installment! I really am enjoying reading your work.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
    Well, thank you. I'm thrilled you are enjoying it. And thank you for the extra star. Very appreciated. Gretchen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Some families have toxic relationships that poison a child's life as long as she or he dies.

I feel so sad for Huck and Dewey.... poor kids, their father is horrible.

Miss Lynn is a ray of light in the kids dark existence.

Well done, Gretchen. Sorry I ran out of sixes.


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    No worries about the six. The fact that you are into this story is more than enough. Thank you. Gretchen
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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This is a very well written story and I enjoyed it very much I love how you have included several characters and they all are interesting. I wish you the very best with all of your writing I also wish you the very best for the weekend. Patricia

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    Thank you, Patricia. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You set scenes so well in this chapter, it was a real pleasure to read. And the last line:

It's what we do here, act like every thing's alright.

says so much and is so strong, it just begs to the reader to read more. Wonderful, kay

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    Thank you so much, Kay. I'm so glad you liked this. Your kind words are very appreciated. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Many children grow up pretending that everything is all right, when it's not. Thank you for highlighting that in this story. You're doing a great job. Thank you for sharing it with us.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    Thank you so much, Barbara. I've seen families that go out of their way to protect their abuser. Sad. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Jim Wile
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Gretchen, this review is for the first five chapters of this wonderful book. I'm very impressed with how it's begun. You give us a brilliant view of the contrasting characters and the foreboding atmosphere created by the tyrannical father. I loved how you hinted at the event that caused Dewey's disability, and I know you will reveal this event in greater detail at a future time.

The chapter which showed the accidental death of the rooster was skillfully written to show us the callous nature of the father and how he tries to put the blame for his misfortunes on everyone else rather than himself where it belongs. So far, no redeeming qualities for this man.

Huck seems like an intelligent, perceptive, and compassionate young man, and I sense a coming showdown between him and his father as he matures.

Momma is pitiable and is doing her best to keep the family going under the rule of a tyrant. And poor Dewey has borne the brunt of his father's cruelty by becoming enfeebled by him. The relationship between the two boys reminds me a little of Of Mice and Men and the characters George and Lenny.

I love the southern patois you are writing this in. It is very authentic and well done.

Just a marvelous story so far. One small suggestion: Would it be possible to use a larger font like, 20 perhaps, for the text? We old-timers have a little difficulty with the smaller font size. - Jim

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    Lol, you are the second person to ask me about the font. I usually post from my phone and that isn't an option on that device, but I will try to use the computer whenever possible and enlarge it on that. Thank you so much for this incredible review. I'm glad you are enjoying this. Yes, I love Southern literature. I love that the atmosphere becomes a character as well. Yes, the father is a terrible blight on the family. So far, everyone reading wants him dead. I appreciate this stellar review and the extra star. Gretchen
reply by Jim Wile on 29-Jun-2024
    I've always loved southern literature too, most recently Where the Crawdad Sings. I've also enjoyed the novels of Pat Conroy.

    Although I lived in the north most of my life (New York, Michigan), I've always loved the south. My mother was born in South Carolina, and I have many relatives there. We moved to NC ten years ago and love it here.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    Omg!! Pat Conroy was brilliant. He had the uncanny ability to put you right in the middle of the scene. I'm going to check out your portfolio tomorrow when my stars are replenished. Gretchen
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is amazing knowing these are just words you made up and put on paper but your characters seem as real as people I know. I can see them clearly in my mind. I know writing is supposed to bring characters to life but you do so well.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2024


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2024
    Geez, you could have given me a 1 star rating and if you'd have given me a review like this, I'd still be on cloud nine. Thank you so much. You've made my day and most likely my weekend. Gretchen