Lair Of The Seductress
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Nectar Of The Succubus"Book Four Wolf Bend Series
8 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
Succubus, Sirens, Medusa, Witches.
Female poisoners, Lizzy Borden.
Females plus..
iInterests are only conquer and destroyed.
Another well written Rich in Theme and Imagery chapter.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Succubus, Sirens, Medusa, Witches.
Female poisoners, Lizzy Borden.
Females plus..
iInterests are only conquer and destroyed.
Another well written Rich in Theme and Imagery chapter.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 08-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Bad lady about to go down! Last chapter is next, Doc!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I thought Lilith had got the better of Jesse. So I think it will be a positive message of Greg and Jenny the survivors? This is undoubtedly a very sexual chapter but I don't think it crosses any line. Words like womanhood and maleness are a bit jarring for me but probably in line with you trying to cater to the reader without offending. Love the twist with the fake Jenny and the humour of "Don't go anywhere, handsome" the latter proving that we always need this element to balance the horror. Small edit: sp(a)t a steady stream (more than a bit suggestive there:)) Well done, Doug, on another excellent chapter. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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I thought Lilith had got the better of Jesse. So I think it will be a positive message of Greg and Jenny the survivors? This is undoubtedly a very sexual chapter but I don't think it crosses any line. Words like womanhood and maleness are a bit jarring for me but probably in line with you trying to cater to the reader without offending. Love the twist with the fake Jenny and the humour of "Don't go anywhere, handsome" the latter proving that we always need this element to balance the horror. Small edit: sp(a)t a steady stream (more than a bit suggestive there:)) Well done, Doug, on another excellent chapter. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thanks! In for a penny in for a pound!
Comment from Julie Helms
Hey Douglas, I'm sorry I've had to miss so much. My life is not my own right now. lol. But I've missed your story and wanted to check in.
It looks like Lilith has revealed herself in all her hellish glory...and Greg's got himself in a bit of a pickle.
Some suggestions (and then you'll remember why you didn't miss me!)
her now monolithic stone-looking face lending her to the appearance of a gargoyle.
(lending her the appearance....(no 'to'))
She was squating
(squatting)
She extended her arm, and tossed a black object
(No comma. If you'd said She extended her arm, and she tossed....then a comma would be correct)
Her hands found his 'maleness' as they kissed
(Don't do this. Just say erection, no quotes)
I didn't care for 'her womanhood' either. It's purple prose. If you don't want to call it what it is (slang or biological) maybe 'heated juncture of her thighs'?
Your story is riveting and well done!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Hey Douglas, I'm sorry I've had to miss so much. My life is not my own right now. lol. But I've missed your story and wanted to check in.
It looks like Lilith has revealed herself in all her hellish glory...and Greg's got himself in a bit of a pickle.
Some suggestions (and then you'll remember why you didn't miss me!)
her now monolithic stone-looking face lending her to the appearance of a gargoyle.
(lending her the appearance....(no 'to'))
She was squating
(squatting)
She extended her arm, and tossed a black object
(No comma. If you'd said She extended her arm, and she tossed....then a comma would be correct)
Her hands found his 'maleness' as they kissed
(Don't do this. Just say erection, no quotes)
I didn't care for 'her womanhood' either. It's purple prose. If you don't want to call it what it is (slang or biological) maybe 'heated juncture of her thighs'?
Your story is riveting and well done!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thanks, Julie! I always miss your keen eye.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Only you can answer the questions asked in your notes, even though the norm would be to have the good win. Still, I do hope this comes to an end as Lilith has become consistent.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Only you can answer the questions asked in your notes, even though the norm would be to have the good win. Still, I do hope this comes to an end as Lilith has become consistent.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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One chapter left! That will be the end.
Comment from Lindsey Russell
This was good!!! It pushes boundaries but not too far. You gave me just enough information to keep me wanting more of the story. Good luck with this piece!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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This was good!!! It pushes boundaries but not too far. You gave me just enough information to keep me wanting more of the story. Good luck with this piece!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Lindsey. Been a long run. One chapter left!
Comment from royowen
Ah, these demonic things are pretty cunning, but then the devil is full of deception, enough to be able to nearly trick, but perhaps God has fulfilled the promise that a believer can nearly submit but there's enough resistance to not be fully engages, well done Douglas, great story, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Ah, these demonic things are pretty cunning, but then the devil is full of deception, enough to be able to nearly trick, but perhaps God has fulfilled the promise that a believer can nearly submit but there's enough resistance to not be fully engages, well done Douglas, great story, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Roy! Let's see how this thing ends!
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Exciting
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I had written you a wonderful review and this time was under maintenance, and I lost it. I am hoping is was a lie about Jesse dying. Greg and Jenny need help and right now. I'll do what I can to save them
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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I had written you a wonderful review and this time was under maintenance, and I lost it. I am hoping is was a lie about Jesse dying. Greg and Jenny need help and right now. I'll do what I can to save them
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Well, was the succubus lying about Jesse? Wouldn't a real Jenny have been more upset? Interesting situation. Thanks for the awesome sixer!
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I think Jesse is alive. I doubt Jenny would want sex right after her brother died. I wouldn't. I'd be heartbroken.
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yeah.....that should have clued Greg in that Jenny was fake right there. Tricky Succubus.
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Greg is a mess right now. He needs help. He's not thinking right with everything she's done to him. Can I offer to help??? Although, I really don't have the skills he needs. Maybe Gray Wolf????
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heee heee Let's see what happens in the last chapter.
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NO!!!! Not the last chapter~~~~
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It is interesting the different perceptions. Some have told me this went on a bit too long . . .
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Hey, my novels are about 80,000 to 90,000 words. I'm probably not the best judge, but to get the information and emotion out there sometimes they need to be long.
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I know. Hurts when someone tells you your Novela is dragging on....Ha
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So true but you're the author. Follow your gut and your characters. They'll let you know. I have two reviewers, one hates all my work, not sure why he reviews, I do too, for the money, and the other doesn't like this novel. He says police or Noah's team can't go undercover; it doesn't happen. I have no clue what planet he lives on.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your writing is incredibly engaging and full of tension, making it hard to look away! The way you share the emotions for the intense scenarios they find themselves is excellent. I especially loved how you portrayed Greg's internal struggle and the eerie transformation of Lilith. Keep up the fantastic work!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Your writing is incredibly engaging and full of tension, making it hard to look away! The way you share the emotions for the intense scenarios they find themselves is excellent. I especially loved how you portrayed Greg's internal struggle and the eerie transformation of Lilith. Keep up the fantastic work!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thank you for stopping in!
