Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

I like that Brian said there was a lot of bearing and not much grinning re his post op pain. Good line, Jim. A great goodbye scene for these twoyoung lovers and their hopes to keeptheir love alive long distance. A good chapter Jim.
cheers
valda

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024

I appreciate your review very much, valda. Thanks for those 6 stars too. This was sort of sad, but we know they'll do their best to keep their relationship alive. These two seem meant for each other.

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

A good transition chapter in which their somewhat obsessive relationship suggests difficulties to come when they are separated. The separation may cause strains that they cannot resist.
A couple of small points. When you wrote Neither of us asked about each other's sex lives. my reaction was why would they? It'd be pretty weird if they did.
The other may just be a British-American spelling difference. Phase/faze. Totally different meanings where I come from!

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024

Yep, I used the wrong phase/faze. Should have been the former. Also, in reading back over it, I agree on your second point and got rid of it. I haven't established the kind of familiarity and joking around between those two for that to be a thought that might be voiced.

Thanks for your two suggestions, Tony.

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

This portion of the story is a beautiful and innocent love story between two kids who will experience separation. Will their love survive? It could. Its possible to be so perfect for each other that space and time can't damage your relationship.

Your discussion of a microdiscectomy for a herniated disc really sounds authentic. I'm glad Brian decided not to return to opioids.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024

Thanks, Lorraine. It sounds authentic because I experienced it personally back in 2007, just as I described it for Brian. I was fortunate, though, because I was on Vicodin for about 5 months before and after the surgery, but getting off it was a breeze, and it never made me feel high.

Comment from lyenochka

Exceptional

I liked how you used even a real "microdiscectomy" to make it more believable. And I liked how how Brian avoided the Tramadol to keep from getting addicted. The discussion about sex addiction was cute, especially with Brian hoping to find that source of pleasure that can help avoid other types of addiction but we know from the start of the book that it can have its pitfalls.
Great pivotal chapter! I'm guessing the Skyping will keep the two together over the college years.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024

Thanks very much for this thoughtful review and the 6 stars, Helen.

That particular microdiscectomy closely paralleled one I had back in 2007. I had a sequestered piece that did the same thing, and the surgeon removed it.

I agree, the skyping should help. Jeez, now you've got me wondering if that was the key to my son and his wife staying together during their college years apart! They were high school sweethearts too. I don't think I'll ask him.

reply by lyenochka on 05-Aug-2024

I figured you knew that surgery personally.
Yes, in our college days we had to depend on the US postal service to keep in touch when lovebirds were parted. I have a summer's worth of daily letters from hubby before our wedding. Ah, Skyping sounds easier!

reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024

Yes, we have a box of those letters too because in the early years of our marriage, we had to spend a few long stretches apart due to job situations. Some of them are rather steamy and we've debated getting rid of them at some point so that the kids don't find them after we die. Then again, they might get a big kick out of them!

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Jim, I'm getting back into this story as I've had a bit of distraction of late. But I'm slowly getting there. Now I just wonder how it will go when the young couple get separated by college. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024

A good question that many have had. We'll have to wait and see how strong a bond they have. I know for a fact that it's possible to stay together because my son and his wife were high school sweethearts who stayed together despite 4 years of college in different states. They've been married for 15 years now and provided us with our two grandchildren.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Jim,
I suspect that the real challenges are ahead of this couple. When they get into college, and are away from each other for long periods of time, and interact with others of the opposite sex, it might be hard to stay connected. I guess we'll see what happens.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024

Challenges for both definitely lie ahead and we'll get to see how strong their love is for each other. When I started writing this story, being a "pantser," I had no idea it would turn into a love story. That just sort of rose in the telling. That may not be the primary emphasis of the story, but it has certainly become an important part. It's interesting how you go where the characters direct you.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

It sounds like I might have missed the sexual experience between these two lovers and the releasing of all those endorphins! Ha ha ha. Things have moved on, and these two are becoming closer. Another fine chapter in your story Jim, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024

Thanks so much, Dolly. Sounds like you may have missed Chapter 21! I was very surprised when FanStory chose to put that chapter among the candidates for Book of the Month!

Yes, they are certainly becoming closer, and it will be a challenge to their love being apart the next 4 years.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I'm wondering how this being so far apart will work out in the long run but I guess that is up to you. College is a good long separation. It seems to me that he invents something that might work. I anxious to see what happens.

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024

That's the neat thing about being the author; I get to decide exactly how it goes, yet I, myself, don't know in advance and just let it go where it goes. All I knew in advance when I started this story was that I wanted him to create a new drug, but what happens along the way and even after it's created I didn't (and still don't) quite know.

I've completed through Part 1 and just started on Part 2, which begins in chapter 35. What happens there, I still don't quite know yet.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

This separation phase they are entering now will be tests of love, charector, addictions and personal growth.

And possibly the initiation of Skype sex (unless it already exists, which I'd have no clue).

You have a good knack of carrying the story and dropping a few tid-bits of what may happen in the future


Looking for the next chapter...
John

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024

Exactly right with your analysis of this separation phase, John. It will be all of those things, but there will also be some fun along the way. Can't keep it too serious all the time. Daniel will provide a bit of comic relief. Glad you're noticing some of those tidbits I'm dropping.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

That was an emotional farewell, expressed very sweetly. I was also interested in their discussion about addictions and how one could be replaced by another. I used to supervise an offender many years ago who introduced me to the concept of addictive personalities and how his shoplifting (to finance his drug abuse) was just as much an addiction as the drugs. You can take one away but then it'll be replaced by something else because of the need for a hit. They're two very intelligent young people aren't they? I'm not sure I ever talked in that way at their age:) But these are delightful characters, all three and it's easy to feel invested in them. Well done, Jim. Not a single error noted as usual. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024

Yeah, they're much smarter than me. I didn't talk that way at their age either. I think you'll get a kick out of the next chapter if you enjoy the way people talk!

Addiction I've found to be a very interesting subject, and it varies so much between people. I believe in "addictive personalities." I feel that my own tends to be that way, certainly my grandson's. Both of us get very into things to the exclusion of everything else. When I was growing up, golf was a singular passion for me, and I devoted a great deal of time to it. When I learned to play bridge at age 16, that became an overriding interest and I read everything I could get my hands on about it. Lately and to a lesser extent, writing and chess have become that way for me.

My 11-year-old grandson gets on kicks too, ever since he was quite small. At different ages it has been the curly wires that connect tractors and trailers of semi trucks, washing machines, towers, windmills, golf (very short-lived, I'm sorry to say), legos, drums, and now Rubik's Cubes. He was a really good drummer at age 8, but has largely given it up. I would say he has an addictive personality.

Thanks so much for your perceptive and kind comments, Debbie. As always, much appreciated.