Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Runaway Horse and Venomous Snake"Two very real women in not so real situation.
24 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
I love the humor with which you start this piece, i.e., "I might not know my flowers, but I can spot and name a bug from fifty yards away" and, especially, "Next thing I know, I'm Usain Bolt and I'm going for the gold." Of course, the end notes are equally funny as well.
The concern among the entire family for the injured man rang very true. Unfortunately, that points out how out of character it seems for "you" (i.e., the version of you created for the story) to be more interested in the photos than the condition of the man who helped to rescue you and Rachelle and has taken you into his home. As a reader, and one invested in the characters you and Rachelle have created, that didn't sit right with me.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
  |
I love the humor with which you start this piece, i.e., "I might not know my flowers, but I can spot and name a bug from fifty yards away" and, especially, "Next thing I know, I'm Usain Bolt and I'm going for the gold." Of course, the end notes are equally funny as well.
The concern among the entire family for the injured man rang very true. Unfortunately, that points out how out of character it seems for "you" (i.e., the version of you created for the story) to be more interested in the photos than the condition of the man who helped to rescue you and Rachelle and has taken you into his home. As a reader, and one invested in the characters you and Rachelle have created, that didn't sit right with me.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
I didn't even think about that, so thank you for pointing it out. I will need to rethink that passage. so glad you are enjoying this silly story. i love doing the author notes. Thank you for this nice review. Gretchen
-
You're very welcome.
I get such a kick out of your "No Amish (etc., etc.) were hurt in the making of this story" comments.
Comment from Jim Wile
Never a dull moment there in Amish country! If it isn't stampeding horses, it's poisonous snakes. Sounds downright dangerous to live there in this bucolic setting. Still, you're able to extract some satisfaction from the day when you find your text message went through.
Another good chapter in this fun story about a slight detour on the way to the FanStory convention.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
|
Never a dull moment there in Amish country! If it isn't stampeding horses, it's poisonous snakes. Sounds downright dangerous to live there in this bucolic setting. Still, you're able to extract some satisfaction from the day when you find your text message went through.
Another good chapter in this fun story about a slight detour on the way to the FanStory convention.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
-
Thank you, Jim. You never know what's going to happen in Amish country. Lol. At least, I don't know. Thanks so much for this.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
The fictional days you two encounter are more entertaining than my real ones around here lol and if I am being truthful, i wasn't too concerned whether that snake was hurt or not lol Great story.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
|
The fictional days you two encounter are more entertaining than my real ones around here lol and if I am being truthful, i wasn't too concerned whether that snake was hurt or not lol Great story.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
-
Thank you so much. I'm glad you weren't too worried. Lol. Gretchen
Comment from LJbutterfly
I'm enjoying this action packed humorous story. When I read you were running like Usain Bolt, going for the gold, I had to stop reading to laugh. I could picture you in Amish clothing running as fast as an athlete. I'm glad no one was hurt, and you got your snake pictures.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
|
I'm enjoying this action packed humorous story. When I read you were running like Usain Bolt, going for the gold, I had to stop reading to laugh. I could picture you in Amish clothing running as fast as an athlete. I'm glad no one was hurt, and you got your snake pictures.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
-
Thank you. It was quite a visual in my head as well. And I laughed too. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
I love the wild ride through your imagination, sort of a journey through the mind Gretchen that I can relate, because God gives me some sort of order in my mind, I know I will be revisited by that old stream of consciousness, beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
|
I love the wild ride through your imagination, sort of a journey through the mind Gretchen that I can relate, because God gives me some sort of order in my mind, I know I will be revisited by that old stream of consciousness, beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
-
Thanks so much, Roy. I'm glad this made you smile. Gretchen
-
Well done
-
Yes, wicked
Comment from patcelaw
I am very much enjoying the story that you and your friend are writing for us. I enjoyed listening to it and it's very well structured. I hope you have a wonderful week and very blessed day. Patricia.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
|
I am very much enjoying the story that you and your friend are writing for us. I enjoyed listening to it and it's very well structured. I hope you have a wonderful week and very blessed day. Patricia.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
-
Thank you for this nice review. I hope you look forward to seeing my name in your message box as much as I enjoy seeing yours in mine. Gretchen
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen ,
its good to hear that no snakes were hurt in this episode gal. You're too funny. Years ago back in Ohio, I was on a canoe trip with a handful of fellow Explorers. We left a pond at dark and ran across a snake laying on the road, I assume enjoying the heat. Our instant reaction was to grab rocks and stone it to death. Once we were sure it couldn't bite us, we pounded the head to a pulp and then took the snake to the scout master for identification. Of course he'd have to have had psychic powers to determine what it was with the head so deformed. Do you really run? I used to years ago, just for the fun of it, but now I'm happy to walk around the block once. I couldn't run if my life depended on it. You and Rachelle have really come up with a winner here gal. I don't know where this is going, but it's been a fun ride.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
|
Hello Gretchen ,
its good to hear that no snakes were hurt in this episode gal. You're too funny. Years ago back in Ohio, I was on a canoe trip with a handful of fellow Explorers. We left a pond at dark and ran across a snake laying on the road, I assume enjoying the heat. Our instant reaction was to grab rocks and stone it to death. Once we were sure it couldn't bite us, we pounded the head to a pulp and then took the snake to the scout master for identification. Of course he'd have to have had psychic powers to determine what it was with the head so deformed. Do you really run? I used to years ago, just for the fun of it, but now I'm happy to walk around the block once. I couldn't run if my life depended on it. You and Rachelle have really come up with a winner here gal. I don't know where this is going, but it's been a fun ride.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
-
I'll run when I'm scared but I mainly walk. I do love to walk. Thank you for this. I'm having way too much fun with this story.
Thanks so much for this. Gretchen
Comment from Sanku
The rattlesnakes found in our villages are non poisonous lot .It feeds on frogs and other small creatures .But ir slithers pretty fast.
so from Amish country you could reach the 21st century...
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
|
The rattlesnakes found in our villages are non poisonous lot .It feeds on frogs and other small creatures .But ir slithers pretty fast.
so from Amish country you could reach the 21st century...
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
-
I give snakes their space but love seeing them. Tank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I enjoy your story. You are a fish out of water. You would think you would be more down to the earth than someone in leopard skin and heels. But you use more technology every day than your friend. So, you are used too and dependant the stuff. I used to know phone numbers. Not anymore. :-)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
|
I enjoy your story. You are a fish out of water. You would think you would be more down to the earth than someone in leopard skin and heels. But you use more technology every day than your friend. So, you are used too and dependant the stuff. I used to know phone numbers. Not anymore. :-)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
-
I just recently started using a computer. Use my phone daily. Thanks for this. Gretchen
-
i am learning an Ipad, I hate it. Chromebook was so easy. I am in a mood. :-( Karen
Comment from Sankey
Still loving this old-fashioned Amish tale. You made everything so dramatic and realistic. Keep up the great work. Still trying to get my act together. Hopefully soon!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
 |
Still loving this old-fashioned Amish tale. You made everything so dramatic and realistic. Keep up the great work. Still trying to get my act together. Hopefully soon!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
-
Thanks so much! I'm glad you are still enjoying this. Thanks for the sixth star as well. Gretchen
