Power, Immense
At times, it is tense.3 total reviews
Comment from bonespur
This seems like a suitable candidate for the contest. I like the direction you were going in, however, I found it to be a litte boring and lackluster. Perhaps you could have been a bit more descriptive. Good luck and have a blessed day
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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This seems like a suitable candidate for the contest. I like the direction you were going in, however, I found it to be a litte boring and lackluster. Perhaps you could have been a bit more descriptive. Good luck and have a blessed day
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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The ocean can be unforgivingly strong. It is no time to be bored or to have lackluster feelings if one is in the ocean. I am sorry if I misled you. Please have safe and blessed days.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck luck with that!!
At first, I read your last line as it's more than a fan
And I was wondering, why would you have fans there at the ocean? Lol
Then I read it the right way and it all made sense
Except for one thing, don't you still tan when you go in ocean but I think I heard that you tan faster if you're in the water and the sun is beating down on you
You say it's intense because you're at the ocean but when I look at your title you say it is tense. Why tense being at the ocean ? It is so relaxing. Did you mean intense in the title ?
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck luck with that!!
At first, I read your last line as it's more than a fan
And I was wondering, why would you have fans there at the ocean? Lol
Then I read it the right way and it all made sense
Except for one thing, don't you still tan when you go in ocean but I think I heard that you tan faster if you're in the water and the sun is beating down on you
You say it's intense because you're at the ocean but when I look at your title you say it is tense. Why tense being at the ocean ? It is so relaxing. Did you mean intense in the title ?
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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One can relax, in the ocean, when it is serene. But if waves whip, if an undertoe draws us into deeper water, or if the sun burns us, then we might become tense. Also, it makes sense to know one's skill level and to act accordingly. And sun burn in or out of water is not good.
I wonder how you react to this.
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How would I react to rough waters? I can't swim so I would not be in the water. I'm sorry I wasn't considering those things. Now i see. Thank you for the explanation!!
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I swim, but reading other people's reactions to the ocean and to my poem helps me to be more honest.
Comment from SimianSavant
What I find interesting about this piece is what it does not say. Like the obvious rhyme with sand. You are focused on the magnitude of it, not on minutiae, So this entry cleverly eschews the trap of over-sentimentality in lieu of, perhaps, one of the ocean as the great eraser. Minimalism for its own sake is no virtue, but it works here.
Thank you for the read, and good luck in the contest,
🦍
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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What I find interesting about this piece is what it does not say. Like the obvious rhyme with sand. You are focused on the magnitude of it, not on minutiae, So this entry cleverly eschews the trap of over-sentimentality in lieu of, perhaps, one of the ocean as the great eraser. Minimalism for its own sake is no virtue, but it works here.
Thank you for the read, and good luck in the contest,
🦍
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2024
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Thank you and all the best to you. I try to be careful when I do ocean swimming, lifeguards present, etc., but "the ocean as the great eraser" might tell me to be even more careful.