Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

Your poem is absolutely beautiful! I love how you wrote it. I could feel the emotion and strength in every line. This was such a heartfelt tribute to a father's love. Your choice of words really brings out the deep bond. It's touching to see that connection evolve from childhood into a friendship.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2024

Comment from Carol Clark2

Excellent

This is a portrait of a man who has left a profound impact on his child. My only suggestion would be to choose a different word for 'affair' in line two, since its negative connotation doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the man's qualities in the poem. Good word picture! Blessings. Carol

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2024

Thank you for your thoughtful feedback, Carol! I appreciate your kind words about the word picture and the overall impact of the poem.

You're absolutely right about the word "affair" in the second line. It does carry a negative connotation that doesn't seem to align with the positive qualities of the man described in the poem. I'll definitely consider replacing it with a more neutral or even positive word that better reflects the nature of their relationship.

I'm always striving to improve my writing, and your feedback is invaluable. Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts.

reply by Carol Clark2 on 13-Sep-2024

I hope my suggestion helps you. It is a good portrait in words.