Whispering Hope
FreeVerse26 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Melissa,
As I read your poem, I thought of a song by Gordon Lightfoot... "Bitter Green".
"Upon the Bitter Green she walks
the hills above the town.
Echoed to her footsteps,
as soft as eider down.
Waiting for her master
to kiss away her tears,
waiting through the years.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
walking in the sun,
loving everyone that she met.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
waiting in the sun,
waiting for someone to take her home.
Some say he was a sailor
who died away at sea.
Some say he was a prisoner
who never was set free.
Lost upon the ocean,
he died there in the mist,
dreaming of a kiss.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
walking in the sun,
loving everyone that she met.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
waiting in the sun,
waiting for someone to take her home.
But now, that Bitter Green is gone.
The hills have turned to rust.
There comes a weary stranger.
His tears fall in the dust.
Kneeling by the churchyard
in the autumn mist,
dreaming of a kiss.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
walking in the sun,
loving everyone that she met.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
waiting in the sun,
waiting for someone ~ to take her hand."
***********************************************
Your poem echoes the song,
"Whispering hope calls to you,
falls for you.
Adjoining fates sail our
way through the sea.
Ships, alone, moved
by deep flowing,
swelling waves
..divinely coursed..
bring you here to me."
Nicely penned! Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hi Melissa,
As I read your poem, I thought of a song by Gordon Lightfoot... "Bitter Green".
"Upon the Bitter Green she walks
the hills above the town.
Echoed to her footsteps,
as soft as eider down.
Waiting for her master
to kiss away her tears,
waiting through the years.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
walking in the sun,
loving everyone that she met.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
waiting in the sun,
waiting for someone to take her home.
Some say he was a sailor
who died away at sea.
Some say he was a prisoner
who never was set free.
Lost upon the ocean,
he died there in the mist,
dreaming of a kiss.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
walking in the sun,
loving everyone that she met.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
waiting in the sun,
waiting for someone to take her home.
But now, that Bitter Green is gone.
The hills have turned to rust.
There comes a weary stranger.
His tears fall in the dust.
Kneeling by the churchyard
in the autumn mist,
dreaming of a kiss.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
walking in the sun,
loving everyone that she met.
"Bitter Green" they called her,
waiting in the sun,
waiting for someone ~ to take her hand."
***********************************************
Your poem echoes the song,
"Whispering hope calls to you,
falls for you.
Adjoining fates sail our
way through the sea.
Ships, alone, moved
by deep flowing,
swelling waves
..divinely coursed..
bring you here to me."
Nicely penned! Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 19-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello KB. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response. hugs, my friend. :).
I will look up the song on YT and have a listen.
Melissa
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
Your open stanzas reminded me of "Sailing" sang by Rod Stewart .
It speaks about a lover who longs to return to his sweetheart across the sea.
You write beautiful poetry especially when you write about love, longing and two souls that belong together.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Ciao!
Your open stanzas reminded me of "Sailing" sang by Rod Stewart .
It speaks about a lover who longs to return to his sweetheart across the sea.
You write beautiful poetry especially when you write about love, longing and two souls that belong together.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Hi Franca. Thank you so very much!! I had a song going through my head when I was writing this poem. It's amazing how the flowing of music enhances the writing of verse. I'm delighted you liked it. Hugs, dear Franca!
Melissa
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☺️ Take care !🍀
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and presentation, Melissa.
-You do a great job with the poem.
-It flows smoothly from verse to verse
with effective nature imagery as well
as occasional internal rhyme.
-A very good opening verse about
longing for this person.
-Very good personification of hope
and the waves that bring him to you.
-The last two verses are also very good,
showing how you love him and the last
two lines show how you will "sail away..."
-A very good entry; good luck!!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
 |
-Very nice artwork and presentation, Melissa.
-You do a great job with the poem.
-It flows smoothly from verse to verse
with effective nature imagery as well
as occasional internal rhyme.
-A very good opening verse about
longing for this person.
-Very good personification of hope
and the waves that bring him to you.
-The last two verses are also very good,
showing how you love him and the last
two lines show how you will "sail away..."
-A very good entry; good luck!!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello Pam. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response. hugs, my friend. :).
Melissa
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You are very welcome and no problem about a late response.
Comment from Harry Craft
Awesome! What better subject to write about than love? Or the longing for love. Through the ages dreamers, poets, and writers have written so many things about love. This is a great poem about longing for love with the right one! Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Awesome! What better subject to write about than love? Or the longing for love. Through the ages dreamers, poets, and writers have written so many things about love. This is a great poem about longing for love with the right one! Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello Harry. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response.
Melissa
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You are so welcome!
Comment from Katiemae1977
Beautiful free verse Melissa. I like how you use the word whispering.
"Our breaths mingle as one" very poetic.
I like the way it flows.
Very beautiful and best wishes in the contest.
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Beautiful free verse Melissa. I like how you use the word whispering.
"Our breaths mingle as one" very poetic.
I like the way it flows.
Very beautiful and best wishes in the contest.
Luv&stuff
Katiemae1977
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello Katie. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response. Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from jake cosmos aller
a very powerful and moving poem about a distant love affair
love the last stanza the best and the photo chosen
Whispering hope
calls to you, falls for you.
Our adjoining lives
sail away through the sea...
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
|
a very powerful and moving poem about a distant love affair
love the last stanza the best and the photo chosen
Whispering hope
calls to you, falls for you.
Our adjoining lives
sail away through the sea...
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
-
Hello Jake. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response.
Melissa
Comment from Natureschild
This tender and emotional poem was a pleasure to read. The repetition of 'Whispering hope...' reinforces the feeling of longing, and it also adds a lyrical quality.
Nicely written. - Terry
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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This tender and emotional poem was a pleasure to read. The repetition of 'Whispering hope...' reinforces the feeling of longing, and it also adds a lyrical quality.
Nicely written. - Terry
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello there. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response.
Melissa
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Melissa.
This poem uses repetition well to expand the feeling of love in this relationship that moves from meeting to marriage and beyond.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hi Melissa.
This poem uses repetition well to expand the feeling of love in this relationship that moves from meeting to marriage and beyond.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello Joan. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response. hugs, my friend. :).
Melissa
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My pleasure, Melissa. No apology necessary.
Joan
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hi again!
I have a soft spot in my heart for wistful, romantic poetry like this. As I am new the site, I fear I am projecting myself in such a way that implies that everything I write is dark, but that's just not true. I love poetry, and I love it written in all genres and subject matters.
The best thing about your poem is your choice of line breaks. It gives the poem a great rhythm, and it is very pleasing to the reader as he/she descends the lines.
---My favorite part is the very beginning: "Deep in my heart/there's a hungering/search for you./Can you hear my/voice in the wind?" This idea that the heart is hungering (rather than the stomach) really nails it at the beginning how much the loving narrator misses the beloved.
---"Whispering hope calls to you,/falls for you." This expression has two effective conventions --repetition and assonance. The idea that hope can "fall" for the missing beloved is a subtle reinforcement of the strength the beloved has over the loving narrator. You also repeat this expression in the last stanza of the poem, ending with this unresolved, desperate longing.
You did an amazing job expressing the theme of this poem --the desperate longing I just mentioned. It exudes this wishful hope throughout as the loving narrator bares his/her soul for the beloved. Well done!
Patrick
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hi again!
I have a soft spot in my heart for wistful, romantic poetry like this. As I am new the site, I fear I am projecting myself in such a way that implies that everything I write is dark, but that's just not true. I love poetry, and I love it written in all genres and subject matters.
The best thing about your poem is your choice of line breaks. It gives the poem a great rhythm, and it is very pleasing to the reader as he/she descends the lines.
---My favorite part is the very beginning: "Deep in my heart/there's a hungering/search for you./Can you hear my/voice in the wind?" This idea that the heart is hungering (rather than the stomach) really nails it at the beginning how much the loving narrator misses the beloved.
---"Whispering hope calls to you,/falls for you." This expression has two effective conventions --repetition and assonance. The idea that hope can "fall" for the missing beloved is a subtle reinforcement of the strength the beloved has over the loving narrator. You also repeat this expression in the last stanza of the poem, ending with this unresolved, desperate longing.
You did an amazing job expressing the theme of this poem --the desperate longing I just mentioned. It exudes this wishful hope throughout as the loving narrator bares his/her soul for the beloved. Well done!
Patrick
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much Patrick for this lovely review. It is so thoughtful and meaningful to me to read your perceptions about this poem. Thanks again!
Melissa
Comment from judiverse
The artwork is perfect for your poem. It shows the man as if he's fading away. Sad imagery of the whispering hope. You really capture the mood. Your four repeating lines are beautiful. Great use of rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. This should really do well, it is so skillfully presented. judi
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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The artwork is perfect for your poem. It shows the man as if he's fading away. Sad imagery of the whispering hope. You really capture the mood. Your four repeating lines are beautiful. Great use of rhyme. Best of luck in the contest. This should really do well, it is so skillfully presented. judi
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024
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Hello Judi. Thanks for the lovely review about this FreeVerse ~ Whispering Hope! so sorry for the late response. Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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You're welcome, and no worries. I can't keep up myself. judi