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A story based on a dark secret4 total reviews
Comment from pome lover
This is a good story with a good plot. I would like to mention some things and hope you don't mind. You keep switching tenses, throughout. You start out with" Molly always knew" (past tense), "when she enters the room"
present tense, Molly's parents "were always sad", past tense. You could word it where the past tense was throughout, and it would read better.
Just a suggestion. it's a sensitive situation, your plot, and a good one.
Katharine
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2024
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This is a good story with a good plot. I would like to mention some things and hope you don't mind. You keep switching tenses, throughout. You start out with" Molly always knew" (past tense), "when she enters the room"
present tense, Molly's parents "were always sad", past tense. You could word it where the past tense was throughout, and it would read better.
Just a suggestion. it's a sensitive situation, your plot, and a good one.
Katharine
Comment Written 25-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2024
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I will take a look about the typos. Thank you for the suggestion and kind review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really felt for Molly in this story! The way you reveal the family's secret bit by bit kept me hooked. It was heartbreaking to see how her parents had been holding onto their grief for so long. I liked how she was able to make them realize that Holly's memory should be cherished and not hidden away. Great job!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2024
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I really felt for Molly in this story! The way you reveal the family's secret bit by bit kept me hooked. It was heartbreaking to see how her parents had been holding onto their grief for so long. I liked how she was able to make them realize that Holly's memory should be cherished and not hidden away. Great job!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2024
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Thank you
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Wow. That was a big secret her parents were keeping from her, as if pretending the other twin wasn't relevant to the family. How sad. Great picture.
was something her parents (was) keeping-this should be (were)
Cecilia
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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Wow. That was a big secret her parents were keeping from her, as if pretending the other twin wasn't relevant to the family. How sad. Great picture.
was something her parents (was) keeping-this should be (were)
Cecilia
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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Ok thank you. I did the editing and I'm happy to only have one typo.
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You're welcome.
Cecilia
Comment from Rick Gardner
Feel sorry for all involved. Not sure how i would have dealt with this situation as a parent or the child. Happy this never happened to my family. We were lucky to avoid something like this.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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Feel sorry for all involved. Not sure how i would have dealt with this situation as a parent or the child. Happy this never happened to my family. We were lucky to avoid something like this.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the kind review
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We need to adapt to every thing we face