Comment from kahpot

Excellent

I'm barracking for the field mouse, a wonderful 7-7 for the continuation of the renga book, like the descriptive words used, shriek, frustration, etc.
very well written and presented****kahpot

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2025

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Thank you for participating, June, you always do a great job. I really like your 7/7. It's a great follow-up to the previous 5/7/5 poem but I advice not to repeat words on such close verses.


following 5/7/5

( Owl ) sits in treetop
Patiently awaiting prey
Swooshes in for kill

your 7/7

Field mouse breathes sigh of relief
Barn ( owl ) shrieks in frustration

With Renga poems we try to not repeat words, you can write something like this ..... (just an example)

field mouse breathes sigh of relief
as angry bird hoots and shrieks

everyone knows owls hoots

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2024

Oops! I changed it. Thanks for the reminder.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 01-Jan-2025

You're welcome 😊 looks good!

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Ha ha ha, success for the mouse, but the owl goes hungry, it is the luck of the draw and I enjoyed the presentation of this dilema June, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024

Comment from Nicki.B

Excellent

What a cute field mouse!! And what a lucky escape!!
This is a wonderful additional into the book of Renga, I'm so glad the barn owl missed this time! He can go find some snails or something lol!
This guy is clever to escape and keep safe!!
Happy New Year to You and Yours June!
Best Wishes
Nicki x

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2024