Love Honor and a Mail Order Bride
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "A Jailhouse Wedding"Indian girl vies for the heart of a homesteader
7 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This novel with the conflict of having to choose between conflicting feelings to help Anna Beth is progressing very well. I suspect Luke will possibly be a support for a while, but something about Ayanna will still work out in the near future. I get it that Ayanna is not going to say so much due to her Native American background.
Little suggestion:
For some reason, the very first sentence made me stumble slightly. I wasn't sure why it was important to call him half-Indian here, so I tried it like this:
Deputy Cody's thick hands played his harmonica to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride."
And I think another reviewer pointed this out:
The judge continued. "If there are no objections..." Oh no wait. It so happens I had a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband to be called off the wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine."
You can take out the quotation mark after objections...
Then I would say: Oh, no, wait! It so happens I have a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband-to-be called off their wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine." (And there is the second quotation mark after the word mine to finish his dialogue.)
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2025
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This novel with the conflict of having to choose between conflicting feelings to help Anna Beth is progressing very well. I suspect Luke will possibly be a support for a while, but something about Ayanna will still work out in the near future. I get it that Ayanna is not going to say so much due to her Native American background.
Little suggestion:
For some reason, the very first sentence made me stumble slightly. I wasn't sure why it was important to call him half-Indian here, so I tried it like this:
Deputy Cody's thick hands played his harmonica to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride."
And I think another reviewer pointed this out:
The judge continued. "If there are no objections..." Oh no wait. It so happens I had a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband to be called off the wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine."
You can take out the quotation mark after objections...
Then I would say: Oh, no, wait! It so happens I have a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband-to-be called off their wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine." (And there is the second quotation mark after the word mine to finish his dialogue.)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2025
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Yes. I need to make those changes. I always appreciate your touches to help polish the story. And thanks for the gold plus review. I almost forget how cool it looks.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
Luke has a lot of conflict in his life. We all discover that every decision we make matters. He made his decisions based on what he thought was the best thing to do and still, he has reason to question decisions. The big things come along once in awhile, but the little things are there every hour. You convey the emotions of each character very well in this writing.
Robert
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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Hello Stan.
Luke has a lot of conflict in his life. We all discover that every decision we make matters. He made his decisions based on what he thought was the best thing to do and still, he has reason to question decisions. The big things come along once in awhile, but the little things are there every hour. You convey the emotions of each character very well in this writing.
Robert
Comment Written 05-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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Thanks Robert for this encouraging review.
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You're welcome, Stan.
Comment from lyenochka
So much sacrifice in this act of love! Luke married Ruth so he can be the lawful father for Anna Beth. But his heart belongs to Ayanna and though she loves him, she understands what he must do as she also loves the child.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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So much sacrifice in this act of love! Luke married Ruth so he can be the lawful father for Anna Beth. But his heart belongs to Ayanna and though she loves him, she understands what he must do as she also loves the child.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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Thanks for your thoughtful review here.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do hope Ayanna understand why Luke married Ruth. I want them together. This is a great story.
He looked over at the little girl Anna Beth. Are you ready to have Luke be your Pa?" (Are you)
The judge continued. "If there are no objections..." Oh no wait. It so happens I had a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband to be called off the wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine." He pulled it from his pocket and handed it over to Luke. (TRY - The judge continued, "If there are no objections... Oh no wait. It so happens I had a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband to be called off the wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine." He pulled it from his pocket and handed it over to Luke. )
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2025
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I do hope Ayanna understand why Luke married Ruth. I want them together. This is a great story.
He looked over at the little girl Anna Beth. Are you ready to have Luke be your Pa?" (Are you)
The judge continued. "If there are no objections..." Oh no wait. It so happens I had a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband to be called off the wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine." He pulled it from his pocket and handed it over to Luke. (TRY - The judge continued, "If there are no objections... Oh no wait. It so happens I had a ring a poor girl gave me when her husband to be called off the wedding. It was fashioned from the silver found in the mine." He pulled it from his pocket and handed it over to Luke. )
Comment Written 04-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2025
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Thanks so much Barbara
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed how you captured the emotional tension of this scene. Your characters feel so real! I especially loved the little moments like the judge's playful exchange with Anna Beth. It's those small things that make this feel so real. You've built a story that has so many layers. And I'm hooked by the depth of the relationships! Keep writing. Your storytelling pulls me in every time.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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I really enjoyed how you captured the emotional tension of this scene. Your characters feel so real! I especially loved the little moments like the judge's playful exchange with Anna Beth. It's those small things that make this feel so real. You've built a story that has so many layers. And I'm hooked by the depth of the relationships! Keep writing. Your storytelling pulls me in every time.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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Thanks for this encouraging review!
Comment from BethShelby
I went back a read a couple of chapters I missed while I was away. This is one of my favorite stories. I wish things could work out for Luke in Ayanna in spite of Luke having to marry Ruth to save her. I feel bad for her too and I hope she does have to pay for her husband's death. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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I went back a read a couple of chapters I missed while I was away. This is one of my favorite stories. I wish things could work out for Luke in Ayanna in spite of Luke having to marry Ruth to save her. I feel bad for her too and I hope she does have to pay for her husband's death. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2025
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Thank's Beth for the encouragement here.
Comment from royowen
I though you might have figured out a method of making it work with Ruth and Ayanna, who is truly an honourable lady, but at least Anna Beth has a legal guardian, an excellent episode friend Stan, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2025
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I though you might have figured out a method of making it work with Ruth and Ayanna, who is truly an honourable lady, but at least Anna Beth has a legal guardian, an excellent episode friend Stan, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2025
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Thanks Roy!
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Bless you
