Alone
Starting fresh again33 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Anna Howard
I am so glad I read this at 10AM and not in the middle of the night. I am sure it will haunt me tonight though. Awesome flash fiction. Congratulations on winning the contest. Well deserved!
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I am so glad I read this at 10AM and not in the middle of the night. I am sure it will haunt me tonight though. Awesome flash fiction. Congratulations on winning the contest. Well deserved!
Comment Written 23-Mar-2025
Comment from Harambe iz ur Daddy
Really well-paced short horror flick, with the false sense of security and surprise ending. It feels like you wrote this with a film scene in mind. The added colors are a nice touch. The unknown fate that awaits her makes this a perfect introduction to a longer work, perhaps a kidnapping or a murder mystery.
The only suggestion I have for you is the same formatting recommendation that I make to everyone publishing short non-poetry works on this site. You are no doubt aware that your text is starting to the upper right of the image, rather than below it, as you added some extra space to prevent this, but all that does is push it partway down the image and makes it look accidental. Every device your piece is viewed on will have a different width, so there is no amount of pushing down that text that is the right amount. The best solution for uniformity is to just start your text under the image, which you can do by going to the advanced options at the bottom of the text editor and then setting the image size to small. It will not actually set your image to small, but it will fix the alignment issue.
Thanks for sharing and congratulations on a well-deserved win,
🦍
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Really well-paced short horror flick, with the false sense of security and surprise ending. It feels like you wrote this with a film scene in mind. The added colors are a nice touch. The unknown fate that awaits her makes this a perfect introduction to a longer work, perhaps a kidnapping or a murder mystery.
The only suggestion I have for you is the same formatting recommendation that I make to everyone publishing short non-poetry works on this site. You are no doubt aware that your text is starting to the upper right of the image, rather than below it, as you added some extra space to prevent this, but all that does is push it partway down the image and makes it look accidental. Every device your piece is viewed on will have a different width, so there is no amount of pushing down that text that is the right amount. The best solution for uniformity is to just start your text under the image, which you can do by going to the advanced options at the bottom of the text editor and then setting the image size to small. It will not actually set your image to small, but it will fix the alignment issue.
Thanks for sharing and congratulations on a well-deserved win,
🦍
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm not back to reading and reviewing much, but I sure do miss the spin you put on things. Congratulations on your blue ribbon! I ran through just enough stories to not waste my sixes; but then I wished I'd kept one when I saw your post. Thanks for sharing.
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I'm not back to reading and reviewing much, but I sure do miss the spin you put on things. Congratulations on your blue ribbon! I ran through just enough stories to not waste my sixes; but then I wished I'd kept one when I saw your post. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
Comment from Kirsten Shonle
Okay, I can see why you won. This is a great very short story. I loved the ending, the thought it was the cat but there really was a sinister person or entity in the house. The beginning was also great. Too bad her new home was haunted or welcome to prowlers. Very creepy. Now I know the competition I was up against and can see why I lost.
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Okay, I can see why you won. This is a great very short story. I loved the ending, the thought it was the cat but there really was a sinister person or entity in the house. The beginning was also great. Too bad her new home was haunted or welcome to prowlers. Very creepy. Now I know the competition I was up against and can see why I lost.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Carol,
This is a thriller in miniature. It seems to have a happy ending but then not so much. What a first night in a new house. I would sell in and move right away. It would seem she wasn't told of the dangers in this neighborhood. I like the font color change to make us think it is blood.
Congrats on the win.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a nice weekend.
Joan
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Hi Carol,
This is a thriller in miniature. It seems to have a happy ending but then not so much. What a first night in a new house. I would sell in and move right away. It would seem she wasn't told of the dangers in this neighborhood. I like the font color change to make us think it is blood.
Congrats on the win.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a nice weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2025
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 22-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2025
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Awesome! I greatly appreciate all the support and encouragement I receive on FanStory and winning this Flash Fiction for Alone was a wonderful surprise. Thank you!
Comment from Harry Craft
I knew the cat didn't turn over the strawberry syrup. It was the intruder! This is a very short, but great mystery story Carol. It held my attention all the way through. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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I knew the cat didn't turn over the strawberry syrup. It was the intruder! This is a very short, but great mystery story Carol. It held my attention all the way through. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Thanks Harry. It's hard to build suspense with so few words. Glad you enjoyed.
Smiles, Carol
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Yes, it is. I cannot write like that. I am too wordy lol.
Comment from royowen
What a very good flash fiction story Carol. That would be a terribly ending for the night and in her experience, the relief in finding it was merely the cat, and the...??, beautifully written Carol, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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What a very good flash fiction story Carol. That would be a terribly ending for the night and in her experience, the relief in finding it was merely the cat, and the...??, beautifully written Carol, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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What a jolt, huh? It orginally ended that her husband said, I told you our vows were forever, but it was too many words for the contest.
Smiles, Carol
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Well done
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good flash fiction to enter in the contest. You built the suspense successfully and then led the reader to believe that it was only the cat. There is one necessary correction. You have her going back to bed, so why does she drop a flashlight?
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Good flash fiction to enter in the contest. You built the suspense successfully and then led the reader to believe that it was only the cat. There is one necessary correction. You have her going back to bed, so why does she drop a flashlight?
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Maybe I should have said bedroom. She wasn't in the bed yet. I will take a look at the wording. Thanks so much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Thesis
Hmmm, you set up an interesting story by showing us how your character is easily frightened by her imagination, until she realizes, and sees that her fears are unfounded...until they become real. Nice job.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Hmmm, you set up an interesting story by showing us how your character is easily frightened by her imagination, until she realizes, and sees that her fears are unfounded...until they become real. Nice job.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2025
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Glad I could keep you wondering until the twist was there. That's my favorite type of writing...Thank you so much for reading for for enjoying it.
Smiles, Carol
