Reviews from

The Kidnapping Chapter Two

Lieutenant Brady tries to find a two year old boy

29 total reviews 
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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This is moving along nicely. Interesting telling a story in poetry form using rhymes.

It's working because I read it over a few times, not because I felt I missed something, but because I enjoyed it.

The last two lines have me perplexed-
The most important clue of all?
Their three year old is very small.

Maybe there'll be a reveal in the next chapter.

Thank you,
John

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2025


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
    hi John

    That clue may have been explained already at least hinted at. However, if I ever write part four, it will be explained.

    I will be taking a long hiatus from fan story so who knows whether part four will ever be written

    Thanks for the wonderful review
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Excellent poem engaging and compelling to keep on reading. The plot flows nicely. Great ending. It's very enjoyable.

Well done!

Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." -  Atticus

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2025


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
    Thanks for the great review
Comment from ESOSTINE
Excellent
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Your kidnapping story is intriguing. It flows smoothly like a gentle stream, and can go for a music. You chose a clear and crearive language to convey your story. Thanks for sharing your work. Remain blessed, dear Pam.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2025


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
    Thanks for the great review. Blessings.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have written a riveting story. A similar incident happened to me. The girl who lives next door came to me one day and asked me to drive her to the movie theater. I said I'm not that kind of neighbor.

10 minutes after she left, an FBI agent knocked on my door and asked me if I knew where she was. He said she embezzled $180,000 from my homeowners association.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025

Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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The most important clue of all? Their three year old is very small.

I got lost on the last two lines. A very small three year old? That's the most important clue?

Other than my question, I enjoyed the way you tell a mystery story of a kidnapping in poetry form. I look forward to Chapter 3.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
    Thank you LJfor your wonderful review

    If I ever ride part four, that clue about the three year-old being small will become apparent

Comment from Shanbreen
Excellent
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Thanks, Pam for the second chapter. The police seem to have lots of clues to work on, but I couldn't quite understand: "The most important clue of all?
Their three year old is very small."

I can understand the three year old to be an important clue being that the kidnapped child is two years old. But I couldn't understand the child being "very small" as a clue. Do you mean smaller than the two year old child? I am a bit confused about it.

I hope you are doing well, my friend.

It is always good to read your work.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
    hi my friend. Thanks for the great review.

    I may never right part four because I may never be on fan story again

    So I will only tell you why the clue the three year old being small matters

    A small three-year-old can be about the same size as a two year-old and if the kidnappers were after a three year old who is small and went to the wrong address they could mistake the two year old for the three year old and then would be comvinced they had the right house

    They were supposed to kidnap the three year old.
reply by Shanbreen on 31-Mar-2025
    Thank you, Pam. I hope you remain on FanStory but I can understand if you can't. I am definitely going to miss you. To me, you are an intelligent and creative person and I enjoyed reading your writings. I wish you lots and lots of happiness.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
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oh my goodness this is a sad case. and the worst part is that even though this is fiction, it is so much like the cases that happen every day. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025

Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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Pam, I am glad I decided to go back and read the earlier chapters. Things make more sense when it is read in order. I am looking forward to the next chapter now! love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025

Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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I love detective stories and mysteries, but I'd never be able to write one in a poem and you've done it so well. I can't read through the lines fast enough...Lots of loot found next door, but what does the size of a little girl have to do with anything?
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2025
    Hi Carol

    What makes you think the child next-door is a little girl? I never said that.

    But thanks for the wonderful review. I’m working on the chapter 3 right now.
Comment from Mia Twysted
Excellent
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To take us through the start of a kidnapping is interesting, especially in a poem. It seems they have some suspects on the run and are closing in on them.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2025