Trouble In Red
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Speak Easy"Let's Write This
14 total reviews
Comment from Lulube
Intriguing. This is the only chapter I have read and it flowed easily, setting up curiosity and leaving me wanting to know what the heck is going on. Love your style of writing. Good chapter even for a starter.
lulube
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
  |
Intriguing. This is the only chapter I have read and it flowed easily, setting up curiosity and leaving me wanting to know what the heck is going on. Love your style of writing. Good chapter even for a starter.
lulube
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Lulube, for this incredible review. This was part of a multi-author book started by, Begin again. It was great fun. I'm happy you enjoyed the style and the chapter.
God bless,
Steve
-
welcome
lulube
Comment from LJbutterfly
I thoroughly enjoyed your imaginative addition to this story, especially your noir style of writing with metaphors that added creative color to descriptions. I was elated to see Mama George, Strawberry Shortcake, and a jewelry theft remained consistent through the chapters (originally introduced in chapter 2 by LJButterfly).
You've added mystery, suspense, and intrigue with secret doors, dark corridors, and a strange man smoking a fat cigar. Gripping.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
 |
I thoroughly enjoyed your imaginative addition to this story, especially your noir style of writing with metaphors that added creative color to descriptions. I was elated to see Mama George, Strawberry Shortcake, and a jewelry theft remained consistent through the chapters (originally introduced in chapter 2 by LJButterfly).
You've added mystery, suspense, and intrigue with secret doors, dark corridors, and a strange man smoking a fat cigar. Gripping.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
-
Yes, I remember being fascinated by the name, Mama George. This has been a great story line and great fun. Thank you, LJbutterfly for this incredible review, and lovely stars, as well as bringing these characters to life.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Jim Wile
I like the direction you've taken this, Steve. You left us with some good intrigue with your last statement, "he would have to delve further into Corky's shadowy existence, where trust and betrayal intertwined uncomfortably."
You also did well with the noir lingo and your descriptions of the mood of the place. I could picture everything while you were describing it. Very good writing, my friend.
Wasn't quite sure about this reference: "he knows Ed." Was that some sort of saying, or is it something to pick up on by the next author?
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
|
I like the direction you've taken this, Steve. You left us with some good intrigue with your last statement, "he would have to delve further into Corky's shadowy existence, where trust and betrayal intertwined uncomfortably."
You also did well with the noir lingo and your descriptions of the mood of the place. I could picture everything while you were describing it. Very good writing, my friend.
Wasn't quite sure about this reference: "he knows Ed." Was that some sort of saying, or is it something to pick up on by the next author?
Comment Written 13-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
-
I was trying to add a little humor, with Ed, as Liam seemed a little special. Thank you for this Exceptional review, Jim. The six stars look great on my mantle. I had fun with this and wasn't sure I would do it justice. I am stoked by all the incredible reviews.
I can't wait to see what Lori creates. When I retire, hopefully in less than two years, I'm going to write and fish, but not at the same time. Lol.
Thank you for always being incredible, Jim. It's folks like yourself who've continued to strengthen my confidence.
God bless,
Steve
-
Ah, Ed, as in Special Ed? Ooo, I missed that.
-
Lol.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Corky is a cruel man. Sounds like a mafioso.
I like secret doors lol
Your writing is outstanding and easy to visualize...."The sound of locking mechanisms clicked behind them, swallowed up by silence, interrupted only by the buzz of flickering fluorescent lights overhead.
I cant wait for the next chapter. .
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
|
Corky is a cruel man. Sounds like a mafioso.
I like secret doors lol
Your writing is outstanding and easy to visualize...."The sound of locking mechanisms clicked behind them, swallowed up by silence, interrupted only by the buzz of flickering fluorescent lights overhead.
I cant wait for the next chapter. .
Comment Written 13-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Gypsy. I had a blast creating this chapter for the multi-author book that Begin Again (Carol) created. It's a great idea.
I love the mystery of secret doors myself. The fear and excitement of the unknown has always fascinated me.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Yolanda King
I like being pushed right into the story, into the action. Unfortunately, I haven't read any other chapters yet but I'm looking forward to discovering more about Corky, Ethan and the missing jewels. Beside, missing jewels is a nice change to mean guys wanting to destroy the world using AI and computer viruses.
I enjoyed your chapter.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
|
I like being pushed right into the story, into the action. Unfortunately, I haven't read any other chapters yet but I'm looking forward to discovering more about Corky, Ethan and the missing jewels. Beside, missing jewels is a nice change to mean guys wanting to destroy the world using AI and computer viruses.
I enjoyed your chapter.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Yolanda, for this incredible review. This is a multi-author book started by Begin Again (Carol) and has moved along nicely. I hope you enjoyed enough to start at the beginning.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have put a very dark spin to the woman in red story by committee. It doesn't seem like Ethan hasn't gotten any closer to the jewels, but he may be meeting someone who can give him some information.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
|
You have put a very dark spin to the woman in red story by committee. It doesn't seem like Ethan hasn't gotten any closer to the jewels, but he may be meeting someone who can give him some information.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Carol. Yes, Ethan may be tripped up a little here or taken to someone who can point him in the right direction. We'll have to see where, Lori, brings this.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from jmdg1954
Wow, k wish I had a six star left to award.
You took the story off the last few chapters (of which I was one) and have this new direction,
Well played. I'm glad I'm
Not following your chapter. I don't know what would come next... potential answers or a whole load of trouble.
Well written.
John
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
|
Wow, k wish I had a six star left to award.
You took the story off the last few chapters (of which I was one) and have this new direction,
Well played. I'm glad I'm
Not following your chapter. I don't know what would come next... potential answers or a whole load of trouble.
Well written.
John
Comment Written 12-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, John. I enjoyed your addition and have been following this story from the beginning. We'll have to see what, Lori, imagines the outcome to be. I have an idea that it will be awesome.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Now we're getting down to business or danger, not sure which, but whatever it is it will be interesting, and I'll enjoy reading. I am really liking this story. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
|
Now we're getting down to business or danger, not sure which, but whatever it is it will be interesting, and I'll enjoy reading. I am really liking this story. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Barbara. I enjoyed stepping out of my comfort zone and tackling this chapter. It's funny how the mind works, as mine adapted to this quickly but still offered a hint of danger.
We'll see where, Lori, takes it from here.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Wow, your story pulls me right into the world of Corky and Ethan! The dialogue feels natural. I love how you build tension with little details like the secret door and the flickering lights. That last line is perfect! Can't wait to see where this goes next!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
|
Wow, your story pulls me right into the world of Corky and Ethan! The dialogue feels natural. I love how you build tension with little details like the secret door and the flickering lights. That last line is perfect! Can't wait to see where this goes next!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Michael, for this incredible review. I had fun adding to this excellent story, Begin Again, began. We'll see what, Lori, brings to the old wooden cherry desk. Lol.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from royowen
I wonder if Ethan will discover that he's out of his depth in this shadowy world of longstanding family connections forged over perhaps generations, and will his abilities help ho survive in this interesting realm of cave dwelling, well done Steve, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
|
I wonder if Ethan will discover that he's out of his depth in this shadowy world of longstanding family connections forged over perhaps generations, and will his abilities help ho survive in this interesting realm of cave dwelling, well done Steve, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2025
-
Thank you, Roy, for another excellent review, my friend. I had fun adding to this already, incredible story. We'll have to see where it goes from here. Lori is up next and will no doubt nail the next chapter.
God bless,
Steve
-
Most welcome
