Unspoken Words
Pondering my life9 total reviews
Comment from Harry Craft
Another great poem on another great subject in life. I believe we all go through this at times in our life. We ponder on what we missed or what could have been. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Another great poem on another great subject in life. I believe we all go through this at times in our life. We ponder on what we missed or what could have been. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Thank you for your comment and review. It is appreciated.
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You are so welcome!
Comment from Tim Margetts
There's a haunting softness to this piece-a late-night reverie laced with yearning and quiet grief.
The natural imagery in the opening stanza sets a gentle, reflective tone: "twinkling stars shining down on broken dreams" is a lovely, melancholic image, and "brassy rings just brushing past my fingertips" captures the ache of near-misses with elegant restraint.
The poem gains emotional weight as it moves from the cosmic to the personal. The line "When do the Younger tenderly embrace their Elder..." is both a question and a quiet lament, delivered with dignity rather than bitterness.
It captures the speaker's deep need to be recognised-for the love they've given, the sacrifices made. The final line-"Why can't someone See me, Hear me, Love me"-lands like a truth whispered too long, too often, into a void.
Structurally, the poem's loose, free-verse rhythm suits the meditative tone. Ellipses are used effectively to create pauses and breath between thoughts.
The closing line-"Where...When...Why?"-is a beautiful echo of the poem's quiet ache. It doesn't demand answers. It simply allows space for the questions to hang, unanswered but deeply felt.
Tim
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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There's a haunting softness to this piece-a late-night reverie laced with yearning and quiet grief.
The natural imagery in the opening stanza sets a gentle, reflective tone: "twinkling stars shining down on broken dreams" is a lovely, melancholic image, and "brassy rings just brushing past my fingertips" captures the ache of near-misses with elegant restraint.
The poem gains emotional weight as it moves from the cosmic to the personal. The line "When do the Younger tenderly embrace their Elder..." is both a question and a quiet lament, delivered with dignity rather than bitterness.
It captures the speaker's deep need to be recognised-for the love they've given, the sacrifices made. The final line-"Why can't someone See me, Hear me, Love me"-lands like a truth whispered too long, too often, into a void.
Structurally, the poem's loose, free-verse rhythm suits the meditative tone. Ellipses are used effectively to create pauses and breath between thoughts.
The closing line-"Where...When...Why?"-is a beautiful echo of the poem's quiet ache. It doesn't demand answers. It simply allows space for the questions to hang, unanswered but deeply felt.
Tim
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Thank you for your insightful comments and review. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
You have a very philosophical approach towards writing poetry, by using intriguing scenery "Where is that special time for us often spoken of in melodious song. Unselfish love shared back and forth...or so they say in poet's words." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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You have a very philosophical approach towards writing poetry, by using intriguing scenery "Where is that special time for us often spoken of in melodious song. Unselfish love shared back and forth...or so they say in poet's words." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Thank you for your comments and review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Kirsten Shonle
I really enjoyed reading your poem. I liked the imagery you used here. I can just see the stars twinkling. There were a lot of great one-liners in this piece.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025
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I really enjoyed reading your poem. I liked the imagery you used here. I can just see the stars twinkling. There were a lot of great one-liners in this piece.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your comments and revy. I appreciate it.
Comment from royowen
I must admit when I was younger, and becoming older, starting to realise I was pretty self absorbed, wanting to be better but always fighting the flesh, now that I understand much more, I'm still not what I want to be, but getting slightly closer, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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I must admit when I was younger, and becoming older, starting to realise I was pretty self absorbed, wanting to be better but always fighting the flesh, now that I understand much more, I'm still not what I want to be, but getting slightly closer, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate it.
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Bless you
Comment from JohnnySnowblind
This poem hit me hard, gramalot8. It stirred up a lot of personal reflections about missed opportunities and paths not taken. At 42, I find myself looking back and wondering 'what if?' The lines about 'broken dreams' and 'reaching for brassy rings just brushing past my fingertips' really struck a chord. It's a raw and honest expression of that feeling of longing, of wondering 'where, when, why?' Thank you for sharing such a thought-provoking piece.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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This poem hit me hard, gramalot8. It stirred up a lot of personal reflections about missed opportunities and paths not taken. At 42, I find myself looking back and wondering 'what if?' The lines about 'broken dreams' and 'reaching for brassy rings just brushing past my fingertips' really struck a chord. It's a raw and honest expression of that feeling of longing, of wondering 'where, when, why?' Thank you for sharing such a thought-provoking piece.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you so much . Means a lot that it touched you so much. I appreciate your comments and review very much.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Missed opportunities have left this poet feeling rather left out and unfulfilled here and it is pity, but tomorrow is another day and we need to embrace the next opportunity and remember to embrace it, a poignant post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Missed opportunities have left this poet feeling rather left out and unfulfilled here and it is pity, but tomorrow is another day and we need to embrace the next opportunity and remember to embrace it, a poignant post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 25-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your great review. I appreciate it a lot.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent free verse poem. You use good imagery and descriptive word choices. Many readers will relate to this this theme of missed moments. This is thought provoking. AS they say, imagine all of th3 bad things some people have, that you've missed.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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This is an excellent free verse poem. You use good imagery and descriptive word choices. Many readers will relate to this this theme of missed moments. This is thought provoking. AS they say, imagine all of th3 bad things some people have, that you've missed.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 24-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your comments and review. I really appreciate it.
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You're welcome!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I loved how you showed breathing in the cool air and reaching for the stars. I really feel the longing in your words. Especially with the questions of why love isn't always returned. It's a beautiful poem that I found so emotional. So well written. Great job!
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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I loved how you showed breathing in the cool air and reaching for the stars. I really feel the longing in your words. Especially with the questions of why love isn't always returned. It's a beautiful poem that I found so emotional. So well written. Great job!
Comment Written 24-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate it.