Reviews from

The Christmas Baby

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Sleeping With Strangers"
Sam n Sarah get a baby with dire consequences

9 total reviews 
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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A very interesting and gratifying chapter, Stan. Sam didn't know what to expect when the truth came out, but he sure didn't gauge Sarah's reaction very well. It seems like she may understand her husband better than he understands her because it seems like he will probably be forgiven for not coming clean about everything sooner. She is more concerned about Taylor's welfare than anything Sam may have kept from her. This is the old Sarah he used to know. He's got a good one in Sarah.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks Jim. I always look forward to your keen insight and suggestions.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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There's one thing I know, my wife is the kindest, true hearted people I know, who forgave me over and over again when I was without the Lord, and I don't see Sarah as being anything different from her, Sam should trust. Beautifully wrutten, blessings Roy
Typo : What my wife and (I) are saying...

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks Roy. Always look forward to hearing from you and love your backstory.
reply by royowen on 07-Apr-2025
    Most welcome
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
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Hello Stan.
I commend your skillful handling of the situation with Sam and the two women involved. It's not a triangle in the traditional sense, but Sam's relationship (s) with Taylor and Sarah are consuming his thoughts. That is a conflict that is drawing near to what has to become a conclusion or a resolution. Tension is now high. It's now in a spot when there are few ways around it. Well done.
Robert


 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks Robert. I always look forward to your perceptive reviews.
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 07-Apr-2025
    You're welcome, Stan.
Comment from Mistydawn
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I had to laugh at the beginning when Sam is walking toward Sarah. Guess I was waiting for it to hit the fan too. Sara's reaction her kindness towards the strange woman although realistic, took me by surprise. Hopefully she'll stay calm long enough for Sam to explain. Your chapter is very well-written, realistic, interesting start to finish. I'm so glad you're back to this story now. Look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks so much Misty. You're words are like precious gold.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I know Sarah has to be confused, and probably a little angry, but I'm hoping she also has compassion. Good writing.

"The officer looked at Sarah, turning white as a sheet. "Do you want me to call an ambulance, ma'am?" (omit the quotation marks in front of 'The')

She barely spoke above a whisper. "I didn't know what to do. (whisper,)

"I think what my wife and are saying is that we don't want to press charges against her, but we want her to get the medical attention she needs (my wife and I are saying)


Officer Jessica responded. "So long as Taylor cooperates, (responded,)

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks so much Barbara. I meant to get to your chapter four.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
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Your chapter pulled me in right away! The tension was so well done. I could feel every bit of fear as the scene unfolded. The way you revealed Taylor in the attic was such a powerful moment. And Sarah was truly moving. That last line was a perfect touch! Leaving just enough uncertainty to keep me thinking. Fantastic work!

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks Michael! I really appreciate you.
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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As a reader, whether you be a woman or man, you must have a feeling of compassion for Taylor. She is scared she doesn't know what she wants. She's on drugs and she is having a difficult time because she is pregnant. Your story is very well told. I wish you the very best with this story and I'm continuing to read it and enjoying your fine work. Patricia.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks Pat!
Comment from Tim Margetts
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This piece lands on strong emotional ground, threading tension, guilt, and unexpected grace through a tightly confined scene.
The pacing works well, especially in the early moments as Sam approaches the house-the blend of dread and delay builds a believable sense of anxiety. The contrast between Sarah's suspicion and her eventual compassion adds real depth to her character, and that pivot-where she speaks gently to Taylor-is beautifully handled.
The dialogue feels natural for the most part, though it occasionally slips into on-the-nose territory ("My life isn't worth two cents," for example, feels a little too on-the-page). Still, the emotional beats are sincere, and the quieter moments-like Sarah touching Taylor's hand, or Sam's internal observation of his wife's return to a softer self-are where this piece really shines.
There are minor clarity issues in the staging, particularly when characters are introduced quickly or speak in close succession. A little tightening around the police officers' dialogue, or small paragraph breaks to distinguish who's acting/speaking, would help keep the scene fluid.
All in all, though, it's an affecting piece-one that doesn't flinch from pain, but still allows for hope. You care about everyone involved, even the ones making bad choices. That's a hard balance to strike, and it's done well here.
Tim

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks Tim for your great suggestions and keen insight from what I consider my top writers on the site. Humbly grateful for your thoughts.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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You had me worried about what Sarah's response would be but it seems that she has the same kind heart that Sam has. Even though he jeopardized their relationship and her safety, it seems Sarah's compassion will win and both can help Taylor now.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2025
    Thanks so much Lyenochka. Sorry it took so long to get back to my fictional world. It's nice to have fiction when it also speaks truth about us.